The summer has come to an end, and so has my hot gurl how summer.
Please be warned there are some semi-graphic details in this post.
In August I had two new guys on the go. And honestly, I’m kind of over this casual thing.
Both knew that they were not the only guy I was seeing, honestly is the best policy of course. But at the end of it, I felt like both were just meh. And I wasn’t really enjoying myself anymore.
I’m not sure how I thought the summer was going to go, but I did learn about myself. That I need a relationship to enjoy the physical aspects haha.
Guy #1 was starting to cross boundaries. We hooked up a small handful of times, he made sure to take his time and to make sure I was happy at the end of it. I kinda said I was a lot but just meh. The last time we hooked up, I kind had the impression he was trying to remove his condom half way through? And yes, it’s kinda comments like that which got my into trouble at work, but you know what you’re getting when you come to my job. I can’t be sure if he was or not, but the idea popped into my mind the next day and I haven’t been able to shake it. We did have one funny moment, which I will take with me forever, once a condom slipped off and was inside me when done. So that was a fun moment trying to get it out after.
Since I now kinda think that he was pushing it off intentionally, I can’t really hook up anymore. Perfect timing to end things. He took it well.
Guy #2 we actually only went out twice. First he took me to a comedy show (how fun!) and then the next day he came over and brought dinner and we had some adult fun. I tried to go to his place after that because he was making my bed frame make so much noise!! I felt a little bad for my neighbours because of the noise. One side of the bed was quieter than the other which was good to learn. Again, just meh for me. Buuuuuutttt he did give me a full massage first and tried lots of different positions which was fun. Due to our schedules and the stress of the past week draining all my energy, we weren’t able to make another time happen. He also took the news really well this morning when I ended things.
I did learn a few things about myself this summer: I find the 2nd time is always better with a guy. Which is nice to know. It’s also really good to know that there are some guys who actually care that I finish, which is way more than the social worker. And who actually take the time to enjoy things together. Which is also more than the social worker haha. And of course, that things are better when I have an actual attachment to the person. Which I found with the social worker, even though he only took care of himself and everything was done after a minute or two, it still felt much better because of our previous connection I think.
So my casual streak is over. It was a good two months. I am taking a little bit of a break to transition into the school year, and then I will most likely finally try a paid dating app.