Okies, so obviously if you missed Update 1, click the coloured words and go back to it.
Are we all caught up?
So the guy I met the same day as writing Update 1, ghosted. We talked a few minutes the next morning and then poof, gone. He hasn’t texted, he didn’t even unmatch us on the app. It’s been two weeks and I just unmatched us today because it’s just ridiculous that it’s still there lol
Anyways, since then I’ve had one other first meet up in person. It went really well, and the next day the guy said I was really fun and sassy and he enjoyed my personality but he just wasn’t feeling it more than that.
I’ve had one more hook up with poly guy and social worker guy. But poly guy is just the same, I’m not attracted to him and giving during the hookups has not been pleasant and then I feel guilty but he’s enjoying himself at least so that’s good? Anyway, on August 1st I ended things with him. I sent him a text and thanked him for allowing me the safe space to explore new things sexually with a person but at this point I am ready to move on to other experiences. He was really sweet in his reply saying that I had always been honest about what I was looking for and he was happy to oblige while he had my time and that if I ever wanted another booty call to just let him know.
But I probably won’t ever take him up on that offer. Including myself, he had 4 girls in his life, and while I get that is part of his poly lifestyle, just for my own personal safety and health concerns, that’s a lot of people to be concerned with. All of them who also have other partners as well.
He was over on Thursday, and then I went to Social Worker’s on Friday. Brought pizza, we watched a movie and had our regular after movie hook up. But when we were getting into things, I asked if he had a condom – which is a MUST for me. Non-negotiable. He said no, so I said let me go get my bag. Obviously, I have a few in there just in case. But then he said he had one and got it? I brought it up the next day. I needed time to really think on it and how that made me feel. I told him I didn’t like that at all and that I needed to trust him on this one thing. How it was always needed, and it was never an option. He said he was just joking and that of course we had talked about it and it was required.
Even after that, it’s still not really sitting well with me. Sooo I’m not sure how much longer that’s going to be going on.
I’ve had a bunch of conversations with people in apps. Never actually met anyone. While I am looking for casual this summer, a lot of guys think that means that I want to go to their house first thing just to have sex and that’s it. A guy from this past weekend, we talked for about 30 minutes and he asked if I wanted to hook up and I said I’d need to meet in person first. He said that was ok, and then asked for naked pictures. After 30 minutes!? So I said nah. And he’s like “ok, cool, I’m out then” and I got blocked. Good riddance!
As I’m typing this, on August 1st, I’ve been talking to someone all day. We hit it off and even after getting around my casual summer thing, him just getting over a past betrayal and that kind of reflecting some emotions in my casual summer, and us talking, it’s been an up and down thing. He wanted to meet up and I wanted in a public place. But he was giving me a good vibe. That was until I asked him for a specific picture. I did the same with poly guy, just for my own peace of mind. And he got kinda defensive and didn’t want to send it? Which made all my walls flash up, and I have to trust my gut. He eventually sent it, but by then he didn’t like “the demand” and I didn’t like his reaction. We continued the discussion but it quickly spiralled out into massive miscommunication and his inability to let that go when I was trying to get back into a better conversation, was too much. Especially for the first day talking and it was a lot of red flags. Old me would have continued the conversation to see if it was salvageable. I did send a good morning text the next day, because I said I would, but by that time I was done. Respecting my first instincts on how a guy is treating me.