Update 1 – written over the course of a weekend so details and feelings change through out haha!
Since I was waiting for the Work Husband to set me up with his friend, I didn’t realize he was trying to pick like “the one” and not just a “hey this is my friend” lol so I decided to have a summer of fun and casual hook ups to really figure out what I like since up until 10 days ago, I had only been with one guy and only 3 times and it wasn’t good.
So the “Hot Gurl Hoe Summer” was born! If Husband is going to pick like an actual serious person who he thinks that we are going to be amazing together (he has a great track record apparently) then I will enjoy my exploration while he figures that out and try to wait patiently.
I changed my dating apps to reflect that. I have also been doing a lot of personal reflecting and have decided I really don’t want my own kids. So that has also been reflected on my dating apps as well.
The first weekend of July I was talking to 4 guys and had 2 dates on a Sunday. One at 2pm and one at 6pm haha. The 2pm one was way too nice and just out of a very serious relationship which he had a daughter from. The relationship was the issue for me, not the daughter. I’m 10000000% ok with other people’s kids, just please don’t ever ask me to grow one or push it out of my body or raise it before it’s 3 years old. I would be MISERABLE.
I kind of thought I’d give him a second date, but I was unsure and then went to date #2 for the day. He was much better. Easy conversation, good chemistry right off the top. I let #1 know a few days later I was interested in someone else and ended the connection. #2 and I talked regularly all week, sometimes getting into very flirty messages. Then on Friday, one of the major communication networks in Canada was down all day. He was affected. I got one message from him around 9am saying he was, and then around 9pm I sent one going “I’m so sad you still don’t have service! Hope you had a good day anyway” and then woke up Saturday being blocked on whatsapp. I have no idea what happened AT ALL. But whatever. Like I said, I’m just going for easy and casual all summer.
So Saturday I was back on my apps looking for someone else to entertain my time with. I messaged a few people but took the chance on one that wasn’t my type at all and if I was looking for something serious I would have been swiping left SO QUICK. His profile was like “I’m fat, beared and poly” and I was like ummm ok? Let’s see what you’re like.
I’m not sure what it was about him but I found myself being very open right away. I was VERY open that I was not looking for any relationship, and that this summer will probably be like one time things with different guys to expand my experience and figure out my likes and dislikes. Which he totally understood. We started talking around 10am and by 8pm he was at my house. Which was awkward. Very. Very. Awkward. But he was really nice and helped me relax and we ended up having a good night! And I had a few new experiences that, as a person raised to think that my value as a partner was linked to my purity before marriage, I am very happy I had!
He left and asked if I wanted to do it again sometime and I said “I honestly don’t know what I’m doing this summer” He accepted that, and said good night. We’ve kept talking and he said he’d love to be a booty call and he has been one already haha! He was over last Thursday to help me destress from a rough week at work. And de-stressed I was! But the thing is, I’m still not attracted to him lol Which I think makes the hook ups much easier because I know that I’m not going to get attached.
But also, my old booty call, the only other guy I’ve been with, the social worker, now knows that Husband and I didn’t end up happening and that I’m having a casual summer, and he wants in. So on Friday, we went out for dinner. Something we have never ever done before. It was nice, like an actual “date”. And since I spend every day in gross sweaty clothes covered in sunscreen and chlorine, I kind of got dressed up (and legit looked super hot. I’m all tanned now from working outside and my cream top just POPPED against my skin). He knows 100% I’m not looking for a relationship and I have told him so many times I like us just as friends. We went back to my place after and watched a movie, and had some fun adult times. I was a little more vocal about some directions for him while we were in the midst of it all and it actually didn’t end as poorly as it usually does! He still finished wayyy to quickly but I at least had some more enjoyment in there too!
And yesterday, I started talking to someone else and met him for a quick walk and Starbucks drink around 7:30pm. Not sure what will happen there but I’d like to see him again! At the time I am writing this (literally 30 mins after getting home from meeting him) I think it went well and we’ll see each other again.
I kind of have a feeling that poly guy will be cut after the Sunday meet up. I’m finding it hard to keep up the hookups if I’m not even attracted to him. And I kinda think that might not be fair to him either? Even though he knows for sure I don’t want anything serious and it’s just a booty call. And while I totally enjoy being on the receiving end of the situation, the giving side is difficult for me. Even just that second time I wrote about earlier in this post was hard to switch from it being all about me relaxing to also returning the favour and I’m totally not one to just keep it all one sided.
Of course, Husband hears about almost all of this and some work friends get different snippets depending on who they are. Most of my staff thinks I should date Husband and I was like “we’ve had that convo and that’s a no” which they were all shocked that I would be so bold to have that conversation with him haha! But I’m really glad I did. The more I’m just friends with Husband, the more I enjoy just being friends with Husband lol.
So far I am definitely enjoying my summer! Being safe about it all, so don’t worry! But just really enjoying it all.