Now What February? He didn’t come

On my first ever real date I got stood up.

He was the first guy who ever really showed an interest in me, and I was 23. I was a cashier at a grocery store and he was a regular. Over time we started to flirt and get to know each other and then after almost a whole year of this back and forth, we made plans to meet for coffee.

Now, here’s the thing and I might be mistaken in it so gentlemen of the reading variety help a girl out, but if a guy asks ME out to coffee and HE sets the time and place, then I expect him to be there without ME having to remind him. Especially if he’s a grown ass adult. Yes, I just used the swears.

So, young, naive me sets out on that fateful August afternoon. My roommates helped me to get ready for my first ever date – the girls with my outfit, the guy with a “listen, if he does anything you know I was in the Israeli army in the summers as a boy”. I walk down to the Tim Hortons we were to meet and get myself a drink. I’m always early and it’s a first-time thing so I just bought my own drink. I do that now too, like if I’m meeting a guy for the first time I will try to get there early and buy my own drink just incase there isn’t a good connection. I sat down and drank it nice and slow and read a newspaper. One of the workers there was also very cute and we talked a little when I was in every morning so he came over and chatted a bit. And I sat and waited and waited and after about an hour, I got up and left.

That afternoon, no-show texted and asked how I was and what I was up to and I was like “um I waited for you for an hour” AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “but you didn’t remind me”.

34-year old T knows her worth and she adds tax on top of that so any man who wants to date me needs to step up. But 23-year old T didn’t have that same confidence in the amazing person she was. But even then she knew that this was not how she wanted a guy, even a guy who you could wash laundry on his abs, to treat her. So she ended it.

Ever since I do tend to check in with the guys before we meet up. Especially if they aren’t all “good morning princess, can’t wait to see you later”.

What I have noticed within the realms of hell that is the online dating apps, that guys will talk to you for like an hour, if you have even the smaller bit of a conversation going most will ask to meet up, and then a plan will be in place and then poof they stop talking. It’s so infuriating!

That being said, if y’all didn’t know yet, I have reopened my dating apps. It’s been about a month now and let me tell you I have seen some new crazy things.

This time around I have Bumble and Hinge. On Bumble, the guys can swipe on the girls but the girls have to send the first message. I swiped on a guy and it said we matched, which meant he had already swiped on me saying that he liked me. But I had to send the first message and this was our ENTIRE conversation:

Sooooo my profile says I am vaccinated, so why did you swipe saying you liked it in the first place?!

Then there’s the guys who just can’t get a conversation started to save their lives apparently

Do people not know how to continue a conversation?! Like I am teaching greetings and conversation skills to my munchkins in school tomorrow if they need some lessons.

I was talking to someone in January and we talked for a few days, had an amazing phone call, and then after the phone call he texted to say how nice it was and can we get coffee and meet? I said sure. I thought it was a great idea. That was a Friday night. And then he basically disappeared. Didn’t hear from him all Saturday and then Sunday this happened. Pay attention to the time stamps:

Again, I am confused! You haven’t met me but you have no romantic connection? And then after ending the date, which you asked you, you text again after like 9 hours to tell me how amazing I am? Nah dude.

One even got so far as to meet two weeks ago. After meeting, we made plans for a second date. Then he just kind stopped talking as much as before. The day of the date arrived and he cancelled the date. He had a headache from too much screen time with work. Totally valid. No worries. No messages for like 2 days. I called after he resurfaced, and he said he’d return the phone call the next day and I haven’t heard from him in 10 days.

So jump to today. I have been talking to someone for a week. We had a phone call on Thursday, it seemed to go well but texting was off a bit Friday/Saturday. Yesterday morning we made plans to meet today at 5. But then he like disappeared all day and this morning. I sent a text at 2 asking if we were still on for 5pm. I had to leave my house around 4:25ish. By 4 he still hadn’t even read the message so I sent another saying “guess not. Have a good evening”. At 5:04 he messages asking where I am. I said he didn’t confirm so I stayed home. He gave an excuse of getting caught in traffic etc but like seriously? Man up and take some responsibility. In over 2 hours you had zero time to look at your phone and be like “yup!” Really?

So I guess technically I stood him up today? That’s the first and hopefully only time that will happen. If I’m not feeling someone then I tell them. Because I know how much it sucks to think that you’re actually important to a person and you’re not. Or that they like you and are investing in getting to know you and they aren’t. It just really really sucks.

Now What February prompts provided by whatsandrathinks

16 thoughts on “Now What February? He didn’t come

  1. Urgh I am glad that bloke recognized that you are fab, even if he didn’t feel a romantic connection. But it is weird that he decided that *before* you met. So, so strange!!


  2. I think the problem with online dating is it is too easy to swipe. Without the modern tech you actually had to suck up the nerves and ask a person to their face! You wouldn’t do this unless you really wanted to at least go out once.

    I hope you get better luck here on in, T. You deserve it!!!


  3. Pingback: Stretching the legs, unclenching the brain: Feb. 13 – A Silly Place

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