Guys, I’m a little upset so come along for this ride with me.
On this, the day of my brother’s birthday, let me tell you some more things about why his fiancee is just ugh.
A week ago, my brother and I had our monthly sibling dinner. Well, I want it to be monthly, I’m hoping we can get into the habit. Anyway, while together he gave me my wedding invitation. Of course, their colours are the exact same that I was planning on using when/if I ever get married, which I had mentioned to him to maybe try to stay away from but nopes, so I’m a little annoyed. But even more so, here are the things that were wrong with the invitation, which I am blaming solely on her because she has had this whole thing planned for many years apparently and is taking control of the plans.
- No RSVP information. I completely understand not having an extra card and envelope and stuff for the RSVP for the wedding. Just give me an email to reply to and a date by which to do it. But there was none of this information on the invitation. I said “no RSVP card?” and he’s like “you don’t need it, you’re going” which is true LOL but still, other people will need to let them know? Not even a date that they needed to know by.
- No registry information. I had to ask my brother for this information and then also emailed it to my parents. The couple has a registry, but how are people suppose to know? It’s not included in the wedding information.
- Dress code confusion. I had my dress picked out about a month ago. It’s been in my closet since 2014, I have never worn it, I look like fire wrapped in awesomeness on a stick in it, gonna throw on knee high boots to amp up the vava voom and I’m gonna look amazing. Then I read the invitation and it says “black tie affair”. My dress is a cocktail dress. Not black tie. So I ask my brother what that means. He says the fiancee says “black and white” UM WHAT?! So not only is she asking people to wear formal attaire only, we can only choose between black and white? What bride asks people to wear white to their wedding? Or only black? It’s going to be like a funeral. So I said that doesn’t make sense and I don’t need their colours, I need to know what vibe it is to determine the style of dress I am going to wear and if I need to actually go out and buy a dress (ugh the horror). He said he didn’t even know what he’s wearing and I was more than welcome to ask HER. Which is what I was avoiding. So I put on my big girl pants and sent her a message on facebook. She replied “our theme colours are black, white, and gold accents. So that’s the vibe. We were going to have a dress code but that to me felt like a bit much lol. So orginally we were going to ask everyone to wear black and white, but now honestly it’s just wear whatever” SO HOW EXACTLY DOES THAT TRANSLATE TO BLACK TIE?!?!?! Again just telling me colours schemes? I passed along that information to my mom since she wanted to know as well and I told her I will be wearing jeans and a crop top since I’m allowed to “just wear whatever” and she said she’d disown me. I will be wearing my cocktail dress and looking fly. For those of you who don’t understand the confusion, please refer to this handy little picture which I thought was just common knowledge for anyone who has any idea about weddings.
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And yes, for the record, I *will* be having a dress code for my wedding. Festive or semi-formal. Right now I am totally vibing with a cute morning/brunch cocktail-type wedding.
So there ya have it, the problems I had with their wedding invitations haha.
No Love for Fatties 
This is why I’m not a big fan of weddings, including my own – we eloped for a reason!
We have to RSVP for a friend’s wedding soon and I know I ‘have’ to go but I really don’t want to have to deal with all that stuff… The only dress I own is my own wedding dress so I’ll have to spend £100s on a dress (and shoes, etc.) I’ll certainly never wear again. They don’t have a dress code either and I have no idea what’s appropriate to wear at a British wedding. It might involve hats? Then there’s the gift (they want cash so nothing to buy but it’s also a bit awkward), transport, being the only sober person in a room full of strangers… For people who couldn’t be bothered to even congratulate us on our own wedding.
Anyway… Rant over! 😅
I think you should wear whatever you want and if the bride is not happy with it, it’s her own problem for not being more helpful when you went out of your way to ask!
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Yes exactly its so stressful! I have considered eloping but i know that will cause an issue in my family. Since my brother basically is having my dream wedding I’ll have to change ideas if the time comes
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As someone who is in the wedding planning stage there is so much about this that reallly bothers me. I won’t get into how I feel but believe me you are not alone on the whole WTF with the dress code…. Like if someone has black tie written expect people to be dressed to the nines, not in black or white….. I just have so many thoughts.
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Haha!!!! Yes!!! Like it was such a frustrating thing to experience! And who asks people to dress in black or white?!?! Uuuugggghhhhh I get they want to do this quickly but they are missing so many important things!
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I just can’t understand how black tie translates into black or white. That’s what I can’t wrap my head around.
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SAME and that’s the same for everyone else who has had an input haha my coworker also works at Moores on the weekend and she’s like THATS NOT BLACK TIE! hahaha
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Black Tie is definitely not the same as Black and White with Gold Accents. Plus, No RSVP is ridiculous..at least for the Reception.
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Agreeeeeeeeeeeddddd
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Ah weddings, don’t they bring out all the drama? And they’re supposed to be about love, she laughs. Perhaps the bride to be doesn’t understand the distinction between black tie and a black,white, and gold themed event. I think your graphic is fantastic. Maybe you want to drop that in her inbox.
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Haha! I really would rather not talk to her. I’ve shared once with her and a few times with my brother. I feel like the more I talk to him about things the bigger hole I dig for myself of showing I’m not a fan of her so I’m trying to be supportive and not destructive haha
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I am rolling my eyes at their incomplete invites! But you know what? It’s all gonna be THEIR/HER problem, not yours, emailing everyone back & forth re who’s coming and what they’re wearing… so take a big breath, get some great accessories for your dress, make sure you have a fabulous jacket/coat, and relax. We all know YOUR wedding will be way better organised and clear xx
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LOL right?! I was so shocked haha I have some classic and chich accessories for the dress – sparkly necklace and stud earrings. I am also considering new hair in the spring so maybe that will be purchased by the time the wedding comes. I know I won’t be doing the super expensive type of wig I have now so hopefully I’ll be able to get what I want.
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T, I’m sorry it’s being so difficult for you. My take, I think you don’t worry about most of this because it is their problem, not yours. They don’t include registry link? Then you buy them whatever you want. They aren’t clear on dress code? Then you wear what you think is appropriate (*that* dress for sure). No RSVP? Then if they hear from people late, or have to chase people, that’s their time and money.
Weddings are all about the bride. If this is what she wants and it makes her happy, then your brother will be happy. And I know that is what you want for him.
Oh, and if the colours are the same as yours, so what? You do what you want for your wedding 🙂
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I think part of the lack of like rsvp details is that its costing them ZERO dollars. The venue and food and cake is all gifted. My brother said that basically all they have to spend money on will be his suit. Which is great for them since he’s currently renovating his entire house and she didn’t work for all of 2021 basically lol
But yes, I’m going to wear that dress and I think my mom decided on a “jackie o” type dress/coat combo
Haha and yes I will do what I want for my own 😅 but last week I had this amazing idea which would switch a bunch of things haha totally getting ahead of myself since there isn’t even a guy in the picture but yeah lol
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Sometimes it’s the obvious which is forgotten. I looked over a draft wedding invitation for a work colleague recently and pointed out she didn’t have dress code on it. She just hadn’t thought about it (but is adding it).
Ohh, look forward to hearing amazing idea 🙂 There’s so many more options for weddings now then when we got married.
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Awww its good she had you look over it! I think over here if there is no dress code listed to still dress nice, like a little more formal, cocktailish type clothes? When my cousin got married I remember (as like a 10 year old maybe) being HORRIFIED becauae the female bridal party all wore flip flops with plastic daisies glued on the toes and people showed up in jeans and things lol so I knew then I’d have to mention a dress code on my invitation. Back then my mom says I wanted a big wedding but ever since I was an adult it’s always been a small idea in my head.
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