Have you ever had something that you just really wanted but like almost for no reason?
When I first went to the library in October, I realized that there is a PetsMart in the same plaza just on the other side. And it was like this instant “ooo I should get a fish”. I have had no desire to have a fish before in my life. Like maybe for my class but like as a real thing in my own home? Not until that moment. And now it’s two months later and I am still sitting here deeply wanting a fish!
This wanting did happen in the middle of my burnout and spiral into sadness and being overwhelmed. So I am trying to focus on that and not get too into this idea. However, the idea has stayed with me for a few months and that is rare for a spontaneous thought like that.
During my last sibling dinner, I was telling Le Brother about it. He used to have a lot of fish. Like the full tank and building a little ecosystem and all that. Where I just want a cute little bowl with one fish. I don’t want to school fish, I don’t need to be having algae eating snails and pumps and all that. I just want a bowl with colourful rocks and maybe one little accent inside. And I’d get two because when I was in teacher’s college doing my placement in a kindergarten class, the teacher had a fish for the students to feed and she had 2 of everything so it was just a super quick switch of the fish from one bowl to the next when it was time to clean it. Le Brother even agreed that is a really good way to do it.
Since I have been more balanced emotionally and mentally for about a month now, I decided that I will start to open my life back up to things in January. I will slowly add in all the things I took out like going to church at the church building, weekend plans, dating. And if I still have this desire to own a fish by mid-end of January, ya know what, I might just do it and get one. Le Brother said he would help me pick one out and get all the accessories and he knows better places for getting quality fish that isn’t PetsMart haha.
Another thing that I have been wanting, rather suddenly but also not so much, is my nose pierced.
This might actually come as a shock to all you lovely Peeps and Meeps, but I had my nose pierced twice before. In the exact same spot. I think I have the perfect nose for piercing. My mom has a wide and shortish nose, my dad has a long and thin nose, and I have perfection right in the middle with an adorable curve perfect for a stud.
The first time I was turning 16. All I wanted was my parents to sign the release form at the tattoo parlour so I could get it done for my birthday. I had the money to pay for it, I just needed their permission as a minor. It was a huge choice for my parents I think. We were part of a Baptist church and that came with certain conservative ideas and piercings that were not in the ear lobe were kind of unheard of. But they agreed that I was able to get it as long as I didn’t wear a ring in my nose. I had to have it pierced with a ring but the guy would switch it to a stud after 48 hours and he did. I got a cute little pink gemstone as the stud.
Now, this first time piercing had a few issues. #1, I did it mostly to be a stand-out at church. I liked a guy who was 10 years older than me and I wanted to be that person who was different from everyone else. And then also, as soon as I did it, two things happened: the first was that I wasn’t asked to be the babysitter for a bible study group anymore. I was a regular for them every two weeks and then all of a sudden I just wasn’t asked anymore. I can’t say for sure that the two are related but I’m gonna guess they were. And then the next thing was that a few other girls got their noses done as well, or in the case of my best friend at the time, she wanted her belly button done and went with the mom of another girl who LIED saying she was her real mom and after she got it done, her belly button got infected and that’s how her real parents found out she had a belly button ring.
I had a whole bunch of cute nose pins and changed them out all the time. One day, about a year later, I had the smallest post in and it was before school and I was cleaning it which I really didn’t need to do, and I was rushing and I dropped the pin and it went into the drain of the sink. I didn’t have time to stretch the hole out properly and didn’t want to experience the pain of doing that quickly (I tried to put in a different stud but it just wouldn’t fit) so I just accepted my fate and let it close over.
Then in university, I got it back. I had the same guy do it. And this time kept the hoop for a few months before switching it back to the pink stud I had before. It’s just a pink gem, a straight shaft, and then a ball on the end. I kept that in for about 5 years. When I got back from Korea the first time, I worked at Tim Hortons and I had to take it out each shift. I would put it into a small container in my locker and then at the end of my shift, slip it back in. This didn’t bother me because I knew I wasn’t going to be at Tim Hortons for the rest of my life because I had been accepted into teacher’s college. On my first day in placement (aka the 3rd day of the program), the principal said she preferred that I not have it. And then I started to think… do I really want to be taking my nose pin out every day for the rest of my life for my job? The answer was a solid no, and so with a lot of sadness, I took it out.
Ever since I haven’t had a job that would allow it. First as a nanny and then at the religious private school where I was already pushing the boundaries with my hippo tattoo being visible.
Then last week, during my chiropractor appointment, I was telling my chiropractor the story about the bible study issue to showcase one of the problems I have with conservative Christians (and the perfect nose part which he said he needed to see the nose so I pulled my mask down to show him haha) and after I left, I was like…man…I really miss my nose ring! And I know that lots of staff at my new job have them. So when I got home I started looking into shops nearby. I found one with good reviews, a good website, and decided to ask my principal the next day. It may be my body but it is her level of professionalism I need to live up to. My EA is allowed to show her tattoos but I can’t. So I didn’t know if it would be a problem or not. I said I was being gifted a nose piercing but before setting the appointment with the non-refundable deposit, I wanted to make sure it was ok. My principal hesitated and said she doesn’t want to play God and tell people what they can and can’t do with their body (and I told her it was also her school and her level of professionalism I need to adhere to and would be ok if she said no) and she said she wouldn’t add anything to my body that could be ripped out if a student ever got ahold of it. This is a VERY valid point. My EA has had a necklace broken this year, and she glasses have needed to be repaired twice since October. But my nose pin wit the ball on the end, which I still have all these years later, will just pop right out if a student ever got it.
And so my appointment to get pierced is on the 30th at 1pm! YAY! This is one thing I don’t mind being impulsive about. I miss having it. The shop won’t pierce with my old pin so I have to buy a new one that they have, but the lady on the phone said that while it’s awkward to change out, the person doing it will show me how and I can always change it out at home. Which I probably will.
I am a little worried about the mask being over my nose all day while it’s healing. But at the time of writing this I probably won’t be going back to in-person teaching on the 3rd. Today (Monday) my principal said to prepare to be online for 2 weeks after the holidays just as a precaution. She wants us to be safe and this is the easiest way to do it.
If you have access to my password posts, be sure to check back on the 30th because there will be pictures!