A Weekly Update

Is usually not my thing

But after my post last weekend about how last week went, I decided that I should probably post again just to let you all know I’m doing ok.

My new student has started to settle. Many days this week I have been able to tell their parents on pick up that they are having good or great days! We still have a few meltdowns here and there, but they still have full-time support and will continue to have full-time support until at least Christmas. We are hoping that the two months of consistent and firm adults in their life will allow them to feel safe and secure in my class and that the behaviours will decrease. There were no desk flipping days this week. The student still does elope from time to time (run away) and for their behaviour safety plan, this is going to be defined as any time they go more than 5 feet from an adult without permission. If we are on the carpet and the student decides to go to their desk to get something without asking, that’s eloping. Usually, when an adult goes after the student, the student will elope further. This week, they were upset and ran to the wall in the middle of the room and went behind it. I calmly walked up asking them to come around so I could give them their two choices (which they didn’t want to hear). They stayed behind the wall BUT didn’t move further away! YAY! I repeated my demand “come around so I can talk to you” and they did it! ON THE SECOND ASK!!! Now, this may still seem disrespectful because it took two askings and an elopement for them to comply with the demand placed on them, but compared to last week where that level of upset would have transformed into kicking and screaming? It’s a win in my books!

No one was bitten in my class this week.

One student did have some mouth sensitivity. They were out all last week with a cold and on Wednesday this week, they were crying and screaming all morning in their other class. Their mouth was so swollen they couldn’t close it. This student was non-verbal last year but now had a great vocabulary to explain their needs and wants, but sometimes they still just don’t have to language to explain what is wrong. They didn’t come to my class Wednesday afternoon. Thursday when they arrived at 1pm they were crying again. I was able to get them into French class and settled in about 5ish minutes. I left to do something while they were distracted and then as soon as they had a minute to think about their discomfort it ramped up again. Basically from 1-330 they were just crying on and off. On Friday, they arrived at 1 and their mom said they were not having a good day, but I said ok we will be sure to be extra patient. We always are, this is everyone’s favourite student – but we don’t have favourite students πŸ˜‰ I get them upstairs and ready for the day, they are crying a little bit but not much. But we were practicing for our holiday play. We are filming it in little bits and then will edit it all together. Well, this student does a lot of vocal stimming, and once in the class, they were happy because they were given a paper pumpkin but the vocal stimming is loud and constant. I was asked to take them out so they could film. I got to just hang out with them in my class for the whole afternoon. We read a book, went for some walks, explored other empty classrooms, played with magnet letters on the board, painted a box. It was really nice! And most of all, they were happy and not crying.

I also made a realization this week: I need to stop being in such an emotional funk. Last week I went to church and because my brother’s girlfriend was going to be in the same service, I spent so much energy being UGH about that, that when I got home I legit needed a nap because I was EXHAUSTED!

So my realization was this: this is the first time in my adult life where I have a great job and a safe/enjoyable living space. I don’t think I have ever had both. My body is relaxing into that feeling and now those negative emotions are going elsewhere. My brother picked up his engagement ring on Tuesday and he said he had it and I was “mmhmm” and he legit called me out on my attitude. And the bottom line was basically it was hurting a lot of people around me “not only mom” so my guess is that in my quick goodbye on Sunday and not talking to his girlfriend, I hurt her feelings as well. I keep telling him I should be his best man (cos I SHOULD) and he’s like “Why would I want that T to be my best anything?” and my attitude towards his relationship was that “T is upset because Le Brother is genuinely happy”. Which honestly I kinda am. Not that he’s happy but 1) who it is with and 2) it’s before me. I can admit that I’m jealous. Not to him but to everyone else lol. Anyway, it had been an exhausting day and I came home and cried. After crying I set up my Christmas tree (which I blogged about earlier this week) and then he called just as I was finishing and he came over to show me the ring. Which is lovely. Not my style but it’s not supposed to be haha! We hung out for a bit and just chatted about random stuff and he went home and I went straight to bed lol.

I’m also noticing that I need more rest on the weekends. Fridays I usually come home and immediately go out to do grocery shopping. That takes an hour in total. Then get laundry done before 9. Saturday is errands and my only day to sleep in without an alarm. Sunday I am up and out to church and home and trying to rest. It’s not always a restful time.

Since the clocks changed for daylight savings, the after work grocery shopping is dark and cold so I will now do that on Saturday morning (aka as soon as I push publish today). And I’ve made the choice that after this week I will not be going to church on Sundays. I will turn my alarm off and join the virtual service at 11am, but I won’t be attending in person. And it’s awesome because this week Le Brother is doing sound for both services so I will see him at the 9am service when I go tomorrow. He always goes to the 11am service unless he is doing sound so I always miss him. I told him my choice on Tuesday when he was over. I’m hoping that getting more rest will allow some emotions to settle and give me more energy and patience and a better mental state.

I am feeling a lot better after these realizations and I am trying to do better. I feel that getting back into blogging is helping a lot too. This has always been my own form of therapy and now that I’m making time for it again I feel a little better. Sure I do schedule things in advance to make sure I keep my streak up, but at least I’m happier. I still think I will seek out a counselor here in Ottawa. My BFF sent an amazing website for when I am ready to find one, it lists all of them in the area and some of the postings even say if they are accepting new patients currently. The two that I clicked on the night she sent the link also only have virtual appointments or on the phone, which again is awesome. As much as I hate video calls and the phone, at least for the winter it will be easier than trying to take the bus anywhere after work.

So there ya have it peeps and meeps. Another week in my life! And what a week it has been!

9 thoughts on “A Weekly Update

  1. I get the whole part about your brother. I kind of feel that way about my sister, but I have to include the part where I think she is taking advantage of my mom. I can’t get past that and our relationship, which was never a good one to begin with, is not repairable. Glad no one got bit this week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t want to lose the relationship with my brother so I have to change my attitude. I agree they are good for each other and will probably have an amazing marriage but after what she did last summer, I don’t like her. And she has very conservative Christian views which I don’t like either. But so does my brother which is part of why they are a good match haha so for him I will pretend. And who knows, maybe I will be able to get over my dislike of her once they are married? πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

      Liked by 2 people

    • Lol my job is exhausting but like in the best possible way, ya know? Its the other things that are exhausting me in not the good way. And I fully agree that everyone needs to be seeing counselors! I will probably begin mine in January. Once my benefits start my pay will be affected a little as I have to pay part of the health plan. So I will need to see how much and judge how much I can be spending on it before picking someone to see.

      Liked by 1 person

        • It is soooooo rewarding! I love my kids!! My one student was told at their public school that they were “incapable of learning” CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?! I will hunt them down and punch them in the throat!! How dare they!?!?!?!?! The student is so smart and every day they amaze themselves and their parents and goodness my heart will explode lol

          Thanks for the hug!!!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: The week gone by β€” Nov. 21 – A Silly Place

  3. When family marry they will always choose that person over the rest of the family – it’s the way it is. So better to accept her and try and find things about her to like and common ground to build a relationship on, because if things go pear shaped the relationship that will be lost is yours and your brothers. I know you don’t want that. I think if you can focus on the positives with her, then you will be able to move past the history (and if your brother can, then you have to trust him). Sometimes when life has been so stressful, when you find yourself in a situation where that stress has been removed, your body doesn’t know what to do and will “create” the situation. I reckon if you can accept you don’t have to be anxious/stressed about crazy flatmates etc, then you will be able to embrace your much happier life situation. You need to be able to enjoy it, T!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right now I’m trying to focus on my relationship with him. I can fake it with her if I have to until a better relationship is built. Its not that shes a horrible person, I just dont enjoy her lol


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