We may have had this conversation before, but let’s just open this can of worms right back up, shall we?
Ok, so I’m in the middle of the online dating nightmare. I have two accounts open on dating apps (Hinge and Bumble) and I’ve been on a handful of dates since I moved to Ottawa three months ago. Aside from the fact that apparently I only match and talk with massive piles of poops, I am finding myself limited based on the name of the person.
So we all know that I have a sibling, Le Brother, and for his own sake, I have left his name off this blog. Mostly I leave everyone’s name off this blog. But anyway, he has a pretty popular name. According to momswhothink.com, his name is one of the top 5 for all of the 1980s. Now, this causes a little bit of a problem.
First of all, who wants to date someone who has the same name as their brother? Like, I’m sorry for all those people who think it’s ok, but for me, it’s just WRONG. My brother and I are very very very close. Like, out of the 3 people he shared pictures of his engagement ring to, I was on that email. (ps: yes, he has bought an engagement ring. No, he hasn’t proposed yet, yes it is FAST, no he doesn’t think my concerns are coming from the right place, yes he will be engaged before Christmas, yes he has promised he will not be a lame faced stupid unimaginative white boy and will not propose ON Christmas). So anyway we are close.
In August, I went on a date with a guy who shares the same name as my brother. I blogged about it. But ya see, he goes by the short version of the name, and I always call my brother the longer version of his name. I thought this would make it ok. Aside from the guy not being exciting to talk to and me not really having any attraction to him, the name thing still bothered me so after going home and him checking in that I made it home ok, I told him I just wasn’t interested. And now, every single time I see a guy with either version of the name I just swipe on by.
But this is the problem! It’s one of the top 5 names of the 1980s!! LOL And I was born in 1987. I tend not to date guys younger than me (although I have talked to a few who are younger so I’m opening up my age window) and I tend to not consider anyone over 40. So basically my window is 1981-1989.
And now there is yet another problem that has arisen – my DAD’s name. This one I’m not as repulsed by. I never call my dad by his name, and really don’t associate him with it at all. His name is Dad. Or, in the case of him drawing my name for Christmas this year “The Dad, the getter of gifts”. He is never his given name. I just matched with someone last night with the same name, so we’ll see how that goes.
But in all honesty, I have disconnected both my dating apps for the time being. I feel like it’s just not the right time for me to be jumping into something. Especially with everything else that is going on emotionally and mentally with me right now. Which really sucks because I want a relationship. I want kids before it’s too late. But also I know that if I don’t take the time to work on myself, any relationship I get into isn’t going to be the best it can be. So both apps are “paused” or “snoozed” as the app says. I can still see and talk to my current matches (0 on hinge, 2 on bumble) but my profile will not appear in any searches and I can’t see new profiles. I was sending a message to a current match on bumble that I was disabling my account and if they wanted to keep talking, use my cell number and we’ll text (he is interesting but very quiet so I get like one message a day haha) and didn’t know if I snoozed my account if he would see the message. So I kept it open until this morning but since it was still active I was swiping before bed and then swiped right on two who instantly matched so here we are with two new matches haha.
It’s been a very frustrating 3 months of Ottawa dating so I’m glad I’m taking a break. I might return after the holidays.