What’s in a Name?

We may have had this conversation before, but let’s just open this can of worms right back up, shall we?

Ok, so I’m in the middle of the online dating nightmare. I have two accounts open on dating apps (Hinge and Bumble) and I’ve been on a handful of dates since I moved to Ottawa three months ago. Aside from the fact that apparently I only match and talk with massive piles of poops, I am finding myself limited based on the name of the person.

So we all know that I have a sibling, Le Brother, and for his own sake, I have left his name off this blog. Mostly I leave everyone’s name off this blog. But anyway, he has a pretty popular name. According to momswhothink.com, his name is one of the top 5 for all of the 1980s. Now, this causes a little bit of a problem.

First of all, who wants to date someone who has the same name as their brother? Like, I’m sorry for all those people who think it’s ok, but for me, it’s just WRONG. My brother and I are very very very close. Like, out of the 3 people he shared pictures of his engagement ring to, I was on that email. (ps: yes, he has bought an engagement ring. No, he hasn’t proposed yet, yes it is FAST, no he doesn’t think my concerns are coming from the right place, yes he will be engaged before Christmas, yes he has promised he will not be a lame faced stupid unimaginative white boy and will not propose ON Christmas). So anyway we are close.

In August, I went on a date with a guy who shares the same name as my brother. I blogged about it. But ya see, he goes by the short version of the name, and I always call my brother the longer version of his name. I thought this would make it ok. Aside from the guy not being exciting to talk to and me not really having any attraction to him, the name thing still bothered me so after going home and him checking in that I made it home ok, I told him I just wasn’t interested. And now, every single time I see a guy with either version of the name I just swipe on by.

But this is the problem! It’s one of the top 5 names of the 1980s!! LOL And I was born in 1987. I tend not to date guys younger than me (although I have talked to a few who are younger so I’m opening up my age window) and I tend to not consider anyone over 40. So basically my window is 1981-1989.

And now there is yet another problem that has arisen – my DAD’s name. This one I’m not as repulsed by. I never call my dad by his name, and really don’t associate him with it at all. His name is Dad. Or, in the case of him drawing my name for Christmas this year “The Dad, the getter of gifts”. He is never his given name. I just matched with someone last night with the same name, so we’ll see how that goes.

But in all honesty, I have disconnected both my dating apps for the time being. I feel like it’s just not the right time for me to be jumping into something. Especially with everything else that is going on emotionally and mentally with me right now. Which really sucks because I want a relationship. I want kids before it’s too late. But also I know that if I don’t take the time to work on myself, any relationship I get into isn’t going to be the best it can be. So both apps are “paused” or “snoozed” as the app says. I can still see and talk to my current matches (0 on hinge, 2 on bumble) but my profile will not appear in any searches and I can’t see new profiles. I was sending a message to a current match on bumble that I was disabling my account and if they wanted to keep talking, use my cell number and we’ll text (he is interesting but very quiet so I get like one message a day haha) and didn’t know if I snoozed my account if he would see the message. So I kept it open until this morning but since it was still active I was swiping before bed and then swiped right on two who instantly matched so here we are with two new matches haha.

It’s been a very frustrating 3 months of Ottawa dating so I’m glad I’m taking a break. I might return after the holidays.

18 thoughts on “What’s in a Name?

  1. I couldn’t date anyone with my mom’s name. No way, no how! I think that you’re making the right decision by unplugging until you sort things out. No sense in complicating matters, and you want to be in the right frame of mind when you decide who you want to date/settle down with.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My cousin married a girl with the same name as his sister – and it isn’t a common name! What makes it even crazier is my female cousin moved overseas and randomly ran into a guy who turned out to be the cousin of her brother’s wife. So (and this gets confusing), cousin’s wife went from [first name-maiden name] to [first name- cousin surname]. My female cousin married the guy and she went from [first name-cousin surname] to [first name- sisterinlaw maiden name]. Weird right!

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL that is VERY weird!! I just honestly find it so creeps hahahaha

      My mom’s name is pretty common too and two of my male cousins married women with the same first name so there are 3 of them. And my one cousin married a guy with my brother’s name. Cousin names I don’t think are weird but immediate family yes. Gonna name my kids such random names this will never be an issue lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • Aww thanks! The break has started 😉 both apps are on pause with no matches left in either of them.

      And riiiiggghhttt? Oh my gosh iiiccccckkkkkk! I saw a tv show last night for like 2.5 minutes and it was a mom saying she was legit dating her SON. Ick factor of 100000000

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The week gone by — Nov. 7 – A Silly Place

  4. I think it definitely would be weird to date someone with the same name as your sibling/parent but that alone wouldn’t be enough of a reason to cut someone off or not give it a try if everything else seems right. Eventually you’ll get used to it and it won’t feel as icky. I do know someone who married a girl with the same name as his sister, and it’s not a nickname-able name.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve tried for my brother’s name and I just can’t get over it lol the one who had the same name as my dad sent one message and then ghosted so I never had the chance to figure that one out haha

      Like

  5. My brother has the same name as his wife’s brother. Yup. And then they went and named their first born son after my brother. Oh, the discussions over what to call him so as to not confuse…

    They’ve been married 21 years this coming Christmas Eve. Eldest son turns 16 the day after Christmas. (Eldest daughter is 20.) It can work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thats good! Im glad it works for some people, just not for me 😅

      At my old school, one family handed down the same traditional name to ALL first born males. And they all used it. So when I was there, my student had the name, his cousin a grade younger had the name, dad, grandpa, etc etc

      Like

  6. I dated a guy with the same name as my brother. At first it was strange, but I got over it fairly quickly. I would have to say a hard no on dating someone with the same name as any of my ex’s if ever Fella was no longer in the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

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