Le Sigh

So I didn’t have anything to post today, but I also didn’t not want to post today…

But I guess since I’m on a good posting streak, I didn’t want to break it and also decided that I should probably be honest about some things.

I kind of feel like I’m in a slump lately. Work is fantastic and makes me really happy! I love every day that I’m there. Not all the time, today a student was about half a second away from intentionally breaking my finger, but for the most part, I get to experience some amazing transitions and that’s just so rewarding! I wish I had been a teacher at this school since 2013 when I got my license. Although I do know I needed the experience of the last 8 years to make me into the teacher that I am today and to really love this job.

But in other areas, I’m struggling. I’m holding onto anger and fixating on negative thoughts and feelings a lot. I think being in a good work environment and a safe and stable home environment has led me to a place where now I have to focus on other emotions in my life.

I don’t really feel like I have the energy to write it all out here tonight, or probably in the future, but I am happy that my work benefits will be starting at the end of the month. Once they do, I think I will be seeking out a local therapist to try to help me work through some of these things and get to a better mind space.

16 thoughts on “Le Sigh

  1. Honey, thank you for being honest & letting us know- mental health struggles affect so many of us, for so many different reasons, at different times… PLEASE get yourself to a therapist, that’s smart! I see therapists as ‘wise aunties or uncles’, which we don’t have any more now that we don’t live in little villages… sending a hug xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just reading though your post, before getting to the last paragraph, I was thinking: she needs to go to therapy. I think it will be very beneficial to you and not just for what’s going on presently, but also to work through some of that trauma of having to live with such poor roommates.

    Liked by 1 person

      • You’d be surprised what therapists can drag out of you. I found out that I carry trauma in my uterus; when I’m stressed/anxious I feel like I’m having menstrual cramps. It was not a good day for me when I found this out along with the fact that if I chose to try for a baby that my body may not allow me. Crazy stuff!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You’ll get there, T. It’s great you’re settled and happy with work etc because now you have the time to deal with the emotional stuff. And being settled in those other areas will help provide stability as you deal with them. Sometimes a stranger is the best person to talk to as well, because you can be 100% open with them. Glad your benefits kick in soon so you can move forward with life (as I am sure you feel like they are holding you back). x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m starting to kind of realize a few things on my own, but those realizations don’t really make the emotions get better lol even though they explain the emotions – if that makes sense haha! I agree with you, and the others, in the sense that I’m settled and stable and now my brain is starting to process things lol

      Liked by 1 person

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