Finally, I have time to write this out.
So my brother has a girlfriend, obviously. Now here is that story, and some reasons why I am not totally thrilled with her.
They met in May of 2020. Just as the world was coming out of the first wave of Covid and things for a nice summer were starting to look good. They dated for a few months, and he met her family and they had a great time. He felt bad he hadn’t even told our parents about her so they made plans to travel to our parents’ place in July. It would be the first time we would be all together as a family since Christmas 2019. And the first time that he would introduce a girl to the family in his entire adult life. His last girlfriend was in high school. Anyway, a week before the weekend, she breaks up with him. Apparently she wasn’t attracted to him and couldn’t force herself to be anymore and it was over. Which obviously crushed my brother.
So almost a year goes by, and in June of 2021, she reaches out to him and asks if he’d be interested in getting coffee. He said yes, when I was like NOOOOO. He said he’d hear her out, but that it was just a catch up and that was it. And so they met for coffee and then they were going to get back together, but he was going to take it slow, and then within a week of that first coffee meetup, they were in a serious relationship and announcing it to the world on social media. Great taking it slow…
She had her reasons for breaking up with him the year before. Because of covid her shifts at her job were all messed up and she wasn’t sleeping. Her mom has some serious health issues and she found out she might inherit them as well and had to deal with all of that. She basically had an emotional breakdown and cut everyone and everything out of her life, quit her job, and had to rebuild all over again.
So they’ve been together for a few months now, and after about a month or so, she’s already talking about marriage. She’s helping to renovate his house and making decisions with him, and inserting herself into every facet of his life.
And yes, she’s nice. And he’s happy. But I am over it. I have seen her WAY too much since I moved here. She is always around. And now she’s like showing him rings to get married?! After what she did? She has the same closed minded conservative Christian views as my brother, which is why they get along so well, but also I feel like she’s pushing him way too much into this marriage thing.
She wants to get married and have kids ASAP, mostly because of health issues, and I feel like that is driving this rush into marriage. Since it’s his first serious relationship, I think it’s moving way too fast for him. She already said that she will say yes when he asks her. But he has made it clear that won’t happen until at least winter. And then maybe a spring/summer wedding. But she had a whole year to consider herself and their relationship, while he spent that year healing from her and not considering a future with her.
And now she is just around every single freaking day. Last weekend they went to a wedding together and spent a night at my parent’s house. Then on Friday they were out for dinner so I thought we’d have a break from her on Saturday, but Saturday she was at the house longer than I was, my brother even asked if she was invited to lunch on Sunday at my house and that was a solid NO although the reason was a valid one – I have place settings for 4 people. And a very small apartment and can barely fit 4 people around my table. My mom was even asking HER what their plans were for Christmas. No offence to her, but I don’t think she should even be a consideration this year. It should be just us as a family. She can join us next year. I don’t want to spend two weeks out there anyway so I’m fine with just going for a few days and then coming back to Ottawa so my brother can have more plans with her. That’s cool.
I feel like she’s not even giving him the space to really think clearly about the implications of this. She still isn’t working as she’s trying to set up a life coach business, so she is just available all the time. So she is at his place all the time. And yes, sure maybe they are the perfect fit for each other and their marriage will be amazing and long lasting and blah blah blah. And yes, I moved here to be closer to my brother and before I even got the chance to move he had someone else taking literally all his free time, but we make time to hang out just us. And I also am just waiting for her to break up with him again. Even though she had her reasons for last year, I still don’t think it’s right. And yes it is his choice, but I think he is moving way too fast for someone who hadn’t dated in like 15 years.
Tune in tomorrow for a nail art post in this, my week of posting.