You know the rest…
So it has been an emotional time lately for me and guys from my past popping up. And then, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with, yesterday, in the middle of my second math lesson (same lesson, given twice) I get a blog alert on my phone.
The name of a blog I haven’t been on in 2.5 years. Because it belongs to the person involved in my first shattered heart over my first love.
All I saw was the name of the blog and I basically had a panic attack. WHY are all these people popping up?!?
I got to the point in the lesson that I let the kids do their book work so I grab my phone and it wasn’t the actual blogger but someone had liked my comment. On a post from THREE YEARS AGO! March 2018. Like why?!
But the shock of seeing that name again, and so unexpectedly, honestly brought me to tears. I was trying to hold it together while my kids are sitting there working, and thankfully I could with the help my students being just so gosh darn cute, and a few smart-ass remarks from a friend of mine. And also a few very sweet and comforting ones as well.
But then I did the worst thing possible. I went to check out the post. Except on the wordpress app it shows that it was posted in January 2021. Actually 3 posts all in a row that tag me. All from 2018 when I was last in contact with this person and all now showing posting dates of 2021. I’m not sure if it was just a glitch or something on the app but I refuse to go to his site from my computer to see if he had reblogged them or whatever. I was basically traumatized and emotional the entire night.
But what gets me even more than the universe sending these reminders of the past is that, even after coming to terms with my own responsibility in the heart break (I do accept some of the blame but also put a whole lot on him) and coming to terms with that and (I thought) moving on, the SECOND his name pops up I’m in tears?! For real?! Ugh. Its just adding to the insanity of the last two encounters of my “fragile male ego” post and then some birthday wish from yet another surprise pop up.
So then after this little detour on his blog, it was recess and grammar. And wouldn’t ya know it, we were learning commas in dates and one of the answers was his guy’s birthday. Which yes, I still remember after all this time…
I have no idea what is up with this but if any other past guys from my life are having feelings of randomly showing up in my life in some way or another, please don’t. 3 in less than 3 weeks is enough for me! I’m good for another two and a half years thank you.