I’ve been found!

Unfortunately…

So if you hadn’t noticed from my blog, and my always writing without using my real name, I like to keep my private life private. Possibly not so much on this blog since I share all my personal stories, but I never write with my real name so the privacy is still kind of there.

As a teacher, it’s very important to keep my social media private. Social media can destroy careers sometimes. Mine definitely wouldn’t, but I still don’t want parents to find me and try to add me. My personal Instagram and my Facebook are all private. I keep the settings high to keep away unwanted followers.

My aunt added me last week and then a little bit later, I get a message from this lady saying who she was and that she was my mom’s friend and knows my aunt.

Ummmmm yeah…..ok…..

So I check in with my mom and she is actually my mom’s friend. Like her best friend from when she was younger.

I go back to Facebook and she had tried to add me as a friend and that’s why she sent the message. I get it that she wants to connect but why? I have no idea who this woman is. I know I have met her before but not in over 20 years. I legit could not pick her out from a crowd.

I don’t want to add her, but I also can’t not add her. My parent’s generation isn’t like that. So I added her. Thankfully I don’t put a lot on my Facebook anyways. So no real problem there. I just don’t like boradcasting my whole life over social media for everyone to see. I don’t get how others can do that? Maybe I’m just a secretive person?

Anyway, so I added her and had a very awkward chat with her and now she is commenting on everything and I’m stuck with her. Not too much I can do about it now. She even welcomed me to Facebook. “or have you been on for a while”. Ummm yes I have had Facebook for about 15 years. “Oh but you just popped up now”. ???? Because if we have no friends in common, don’t live in the same place, and don’t share any connections, why would facebook suggest me as a friend to you? It must obviously be that I just joined. Since my privacy settings are so high, only friends of friends will get me as a suggestion.

BUT adding her did unlock a lot of friend suggestions for cousins from my mom’s side! So that’s been nice. My family isn’t really the closest family around and I try to reach out to my cousins when I can just to keep in contact so that will be nice.

How about you? Would you have added someone like this? Do you keep your social media private or open?

30 thoughts on “I’ve been found!

  1. I deleted my Facebook a few years ago when I realized all I did was waste time on it. But then I had to create a new account bc I handle the social media at my company, and FB doesn’t let you manage a business page without a personal account. I have found it more useful this time around because I have friended almost no one and just use it for a book club and a blogging group. My extended family members sometimes see me on there and try to friend me, but I just delete them and if they ask tell them I only have it for work. It’s been much nicer.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh such a good idea! I keep it because I have older cousins/family friends that only use Facebook. And it’s nice to keep in contact with them. But to have people I don’t know basically force an add is ugh. I don’t post anything really personal, but still lol

      Liked by 1 person

    • LOL I don’t use it for anything like that Bill. It really is just an upload space for instagram pictures. I keep a lot private from my mother anyway so don’t post anything other than new manicure pictures basically 😂 But the point was more would you add such a person only to appear polite and avoid the fall out from it? I kinda of hate that my hand was almost forced to accept her…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t either, but when your mom asks questions about everything … LOL (Once after I wrote that I met the governor and got into a loud argument with a public official, so it was quite an interesting day, I eventually had to provide a very long explanation of exactly what happened and that I wouldn’t be getting in trouble for it.)

        And yes, there have been plenty of people I’ve let linger in my requests before I decided to approve them.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve had people like that ask to friend me. If it’s not someone I want to chat with, I’ll delete the request. They will not know you deleted it. If they request again, I’d decline. Same thing, they won’t know you declined and if you never see them IRL, no worries. If you do see them IRL and they ask why, you could always say that it must have gone into the spam pile. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  3. When my son was 10 (he’s now 20), his teacher at primary school gave the class a Facebook lesson. When explaining about ‘beFriending’ people, his teacher said:
    “Only be Friends with someone you would cross the road to say hello to in real life.” I never forgot that. I regularly let friend requests expire… my settings are all locked down… it sounds like she’s new to Facebook and doesn’t understand you don’t have to comment on everything… or maybe the novelty of you will wear off (no offense!)? It’s tricky, I know. Personally, I would delete her: it’s your space, you get to run it how you like

    Liked by 1 person

    • See if it was anyone else who wasn’t connected to my mother I would have just ignored her. But I already make my mom “sad. Real sad” and I am not setting myself up for a yellecture from her about being rude to her friends and being “so self centred” that I can’t add this lady. I would rather be annoyed that she’s there than endure my mother lol

      Liked by 1 person

  4. None of my social media/blog/web accounts are in my real name. I technically have FB, but that is only to be in a specific writing group. I go there and that is all and don’t have any other interactions with anyone (all the friend requests there get ignored, no matter who they are or the relationship I have with that person). So I would have no problems ignoring the request.

    To be honest, I would have ignored her request and told your mother the account is for nail promotion (or whatever) and you can’t risk your career by having personal links on your social media accounts. I reckon if you’d ignored her she would have forgotten anyway – I mean she obviously isn’t close with your mother now, or you would have heard her name before.

    I reckon you were more conscious of her request because of your relationship with your mum. Really, what were the chances the friend would go running to your mum complaining you ignored her? It’s a social media friend request from an almost stranger. I don’t think she would have thought it as big a deal as it probably was to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with all this except for the fact that its my mom’s life long friend lol they are (I learned after this request) that they are constantly in contact and have kept up their friendship really well. I didn’t know the name because of the relationship with my mom.

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      • Still, she’s your Mum’s friend, not yours. I don’t understand the need for everyone to *have to* connect on social media. A friend of mine (from childhood) once said she was sorry for me because I hadn’t reconnected with everyone from school. Why do I need to? Why do you need to have a relationship with your mum’s friend? I still think you can ignore her – I bet your mum wouldn’t want me friending her, lol (same argument, reversed).

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I have a tendency to ignore friend requests unless they’re from people I actually want to connect with. But I’m way too cynical to care what anyone thinks about me ignoring their friend request, so if it upsets them, that’s on them. If it was like this situation, a friend of my mom who I might have met once 20 years ago? I’d probably delete the request without even investigating who this person was or how they might know me. And I wouldn’t lose a bit of sleep at night.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I get that. My mom knows how I am, so even if she found out that I ignored a friend request from someone she knows she might bring it up, but at most I’d just tell her I don’t know who that is and that’d be the end of it. She does assume a lot of the time that I know who she’s talking about when she’s telling me about people she knows, but I’d say 4 out of 5 times I have no clue what or who she’s talking about. I just smile and nod.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. People are such snoops on Facebook! This kinda thing drives me crazy too especially if it’s a family member who I can’t delete. What I ended up doing was restricting people so they could see my public posts but not my friends-only posts. That worked OK for a while. Eventually they catch on though, and then you really have some explaining to do 🙄

    As of 2018, I stopped posting on Facebook entirely. I don’t even log in. People ask to add me on FB and I tell them my abandoned account still exists, but it’s pretty much pointless adding me since I’m a ghost until further notice 😂

    Like

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