Basically, I still don’t know what happened…
So it’s the holidays which means that I have lots of time to blog, and while the information in this post might not be relevant when it gets posted, who cares! It’s the holidays!!
I could just post it right away, but I won’t for two reasons!
- I feel like it might jinx whatever it is that just happened
- I want to space out my posts because once I start work again, we all know that my motivation to blog goes down a LOT.
By the time this post is uploaded, it’s going to be two weeks after Christmas Eve but whatever.
It’s boxing day today for those who care.
So on December 20th I activated the new to me “Facebook Dating” thing on my Facebook app. I usually would ignore such silly things, but I had just downloaded the Facebook App on my phone (because I couldn’t forward silly videos to my cousin’s wife from the phone browser) and I kept seeing the “dating” tab whenever I wanted to get the most recent posts. And I had been reading a few posts by a different blogger who kept getting scammers and I thought, “hmm what an entertaining way to spend the holiday”. I had only stopped talking to E a week before and I just wasn’t looking for my next “connection”. And quite frankly, it’s Facebook Dating… I would never think that I would meet anyone on it. No one serious that is.
I set up my profile and it lasted until December 23rd. Yeah – 3.5 days LOL
I didn’t meet any scammers, but I did actually start to talk to a few real people. It was strange. Sunday evening, this one guy messaged me and we talked a bit on Monday before switching to text. One thing about Facebook dating is that it’s very glitchy and I don’t get notifications and it’s just weird. So we switched. He, of course, was working that day but went for a hike in the afternoon. Tuesday morning I sent a text being all like “hey how’s it going?” type thing. And he called back. Like what?! Who actually calls?! He said he’s better on the phone, and we had a quick chat. I was just running out the door to get my flu shot. We spoke for less than 5 minutes and he is right! He is much better on the phone- quick and witty, a little bit sassy and sarcastic? I was hooked right away! He said we’d talk after my appointment and we hung up.
So after my appointment, I called and it went straight to voicemail. No biggie, his sister was calling when we hung up and they are close so maybe he was still talking to her. I called back a few hours later and straight to voicemail. No ringing. I left a message but then was thinking after that he probably just blocked me? Like we had a great little conversation but also why would I be going straight to voicemail? Again, no biggie, I wasn’t looking for anything anyway. I was not over E and I was not going to force myself into something to get over him.
So that was Tuesday (22nd) and on the 23rd I deleted his convo in the app and closed my account. I was talking to a few other guys (one other made it to whatsapp and we still talk even though I’m currently not in the place to date anyone) but I still didn’t feel like I was ready to meet anyone yet and especially not over the holidays during our lockdown. It honestly was just making me miss E a lot and I didn’t need that.
Then Christmas Eve happened.
I was all settled into my chair after dinner, watching White Christmas, which is the best Christmas movie ever, and I get a text from this guy! Apologizing for being horrible at checking his phone and asking if I had time for a chat. I said “sure”. Not expecting much but he called again and we talked for like an hour and a half! And for those of you who know me really well, you know I hate talking on the phone! ESPECIALLY with new people. AND DOUBLE ESPECIALLY with dating site people. It’s awkward and feels like an eternity for 10 minutes. This hour and a half felt like 5 minutes. Like WOW. And we talked about everything and nothing was too stressful to bring up (like my wig or my no sex before marriage thing).
So in the span of 24 hours I had gone from setting myself some more time to get over E and get excited about dating again, to actually being excited about dating again and having a potential date for the following week. Nothing was set up since we are waiting to see what the weather will be like and pick a good day for a hike.
Let’s jump forward to December 30
So last night it all ended. I was actually shocked and sad in the moment but then also a little happy that it did end the way that it did. My heart was jumping into something that hadn’t even started yet, probably because I was/am still missing the connection that I had previously with E. But also, because this person was such a good person to talk to.
I was supposed to meet up with this guy on the 29th for an afternoon hike but he suddenly had to work (right now I am skeptical of that but let’s just let that go because we had been nothing but completely honest up to that point).
He said he’d call me later. He sent a text around 6:30, saying that he was sorry but didn’t think that he could have the type of relationship that my beliefs and faith require. I get it – I really do. This is why I am so honest about it before I start seeing someone. I get attached so quickly and it’s better to have that knowledge right away. Although I have been told to just keep that fact to myself and once they realize how amazing I am let them know and see how it goes after that? I don’t feel like that’s the best way to start a relationship – with the expectations of how it will go and then having it drastically change. I don’t think that’s fair to either party.
He was polite and honest and up front. We both had been since the first time that we talked, and I really do appreciate it. He still wanted to meet but said he didn’t think it would have been fair to me (which it wouldn’t have been because I would have been thinking of it as a date) I thanked him for his honesty.
So we will never end up falling in love and getting married and moving to Alaska and living off the grid with 16 kids, 4 dogs, a possum, and a polar bear running the generator, but it was nice to know that my heart was open to the possibility of something again, even if it was hasty and a tiny little fling of fancy. But it was nice for a week.
In all honesty, I probably would have ended it in a few weeks myself, once I got over the unexpected excitement of the connection – he is a smoker and I wouldn’t want to date someone who was and would never have asked him to give it up for me.
I sent a message on New Years Day wishing him a happy new year and asking if we could move into 2021 as friends. He said absolutely so we move forward. There’s nothing wrong with two people starting out as a potential something and ending in a friendship. It’s happened before and if both people are honest then it’s fine.
However it may have spurred something bigger and greater in my life, so come back next Wednesday to read about that! 😀