The one – I’m in love!!!!
So for those who need an update – Hi, I’m T and 33 and living in Toronto and single. And online dating sucks during regular times but during a pandemic it’s even worse.
After my last post, I do feel like I need to clear a few things up. I was a little cranks when I wrote it. Yes, he did have his music up, he did turn it down when I asked and he asked “is that ok or more?” and I said it was ok and then just didn’t say anything else when it was bothering me. I had a horrible day and was cranks. I had ignored his call earlier so he was cranks. We were both cranks. Either way, there is still something there that is a sliver of doubt and bothering me.
After my last update from that post, I asked him when his appointment with the lawyer was, and he replied like the next morning saying he was sorry but he was out seeing a baby (umm in a pandemic? okies hokis…) and that his appointment is set for Dec 7th. That’s 8 days before his visa runs out.
So I say ok, thanks for letting me know but until then, we need to take a break. I don’t want to be questioning his motives before we start a relationship and to let me know when he has things settled. Basically: figure our life out and get back to me.
He was very respectful and just said that he understood and respects my decision.
Again, this is like weird, there was no struggle for me to keep up with him, or pleading to stay, or stating his case, or “if you really loved me” or “if you really had feelings for me” like previous scammers have done.
I have also found him on social media after the suggestion of a friend and the account seems real. Just posts of motivational posters and stuff but all in line with his personality so far.
This is what makes it so difficult. If he IS a scammer, he’s the best I’ve ever come up against. If he ISN’T I’ve just walked away from a very genuine man who made me really happy for the three weeks we were talking and I hope he gets his life sorted where I don’t question him anymore.
I’ve sent a few immigration sites for him to check out and have checked in on him just because I miss him. And if he IS genuine, I want to nourish what we have and have him know that I’m still here supporting him, but I don’t want this hanging over our potential future relationship. And if he’s NOT, then I’m not putting in any emotional effort anymore and he will just slip into silence and we’ll never talk again HAHA But one of the immigration places has contacted him and they will be submitting his request for him.
I do agree with the comments on the previous posts that I am too trusting and too caring. I fully get that. And I agree 150%. I want to see the good in people. I really do. And I also make allowances and excuses where they shouldn’t be given. BUT I am also skeptical and rational and trust me, I am treading VERY lightly on this with him. The walls are up and I am paying very close attention to what’s going on and until that little tiny nagging thing in my mind is resolved, I won’t pursue anything else with him.
But also at the same time, I was already talking to two new guys on the app LOL one wasn’t Christian so he got the boot quickly. He wanted to stay friends but no.
And then the other. Oh man…the other!
So he’s 42, I know a little bit older but VERY cute. From Romania and in car sales.
I knew he was the one the minute we had this conversation:
LOL like seriously dude?! You can LITERALLY get an iTunes cards at any Shoppers or grocery store. How does this make any sense?!
Obviously he was blocked and deleted from my phone VERY quickly and then I went back into the dating app where we still were matched and I reported him there as well.
Like talk about two ends of the spectrum! This is the type of scammer I am used to. Simple, up front, no real effort put in on their end other than to call me “dear”.
Next time, I think I might have a little bit of fun with this level of scammer. Maybe play along for a little bit. That would be entertaining!