How does your house decide on the thermostat settings? Where I live, it’s decided by the Crazy roommate. He decides where he is comfortable and then everyone else needs to fall in line.
But the only thing is that we live in the basement apartment. So we are generally much cooler than the rest of the house, and hardly ever humid at all. For the most part, it is very pleasant down here.
But we are not the only people who live here.
When I moved in, the guy I share the basement space with told me that the temperature was agreed on by the people upstairs and the ones down here. Upstairs is always warmer than us, but they were ok with the temp and that it was a mutual agreement. How naive I was back then to think that they had all agreed upon it, when now I know that it was basically he set the temp where he is comfortable and no one else is allowed to change it.
Now there are new tenants are upstairs. They moved in there in January and a few times the thermostat was lowered but we just put it back up because it really was way too cold down here. Since March, I have been getting pretty close to the people upstairs and I like them a lot. I am tutoring their daughter and go up every day, and get invited to hang out in the back and have bbq’s and last night there was even a small bonfire.
But upstairs in the summer is HOT. I have no idea how the people last summer dealt with it. The wife was pregnant, they had two small children (3 and a year) already, and it must have been feeling like 30-35 degrees all summer long. The new tenants told me it was so hot up there all winter and that they had their windows open just to be comfortable. Something I didn’t know!
Now, the new tenants are a lot more vocal than the last ones. They have two older children (7 and 13) and the wife is pregnant. And this heat is HORRIBLE up there. I have been dropping the temperature by one degree for them for a while and that caused a little bit of a confrontation about a month or so ago but then a calm conversation happened and it was fine. That during the super hot days, the temp would be dropped for a few hours and then raised again. It’s literally just one degree – from 21.5 to 20.5. Sure it’s a little on the cold side down here BUT it goes from suffocating to very pleasant just from that one degree.
Once that conversation happened, it seemed to be going ok. My roommate would even do the changes himself. But this week has been a struggle. The mom is almost in her third trimester and is very uncomfortable with the heat and humidity. And every single day this week has had a heat warning. We are reaching temperatures of 30 degrees and that’s not ok with living up there.
I’m not sure what has changed since Saturday, but now the thermostat is always changed back. I have personally changed it 3 times today. I went for my walk this morning and when I got back it was starting to get humid. So I dropped it the one degree. I heard him come out of this room and then go back, and when I went for tutoring and it was up again so I dropped it. I came back down an hour later and surprise!! It was up again, so I dropped it again.
I really hate being in the middle of this but I’m also so annoyed at this guy for not making any compromises for other’s health and comfort. At the start of all of this he was saying that the upstairs tenants aren’t the only ones who are living here and that he deserves to be comfortable as well and that I could email the landlord to see what it was last summer. This is not an issue for the landlord. This is something that should be an easy compromise for the tenants. And while he is right, the people upstairs aren’t the only ones living here, they should also expect to be comfortable. We live in a basement and we should understand that it is going to be cooler down here.
I have shown the mom how to change the thermostat, and it sucks that the one that controls it is in the basement but that’s what we have to deal with. It used to be controlled upstairs but then it got switched to a basement control. She texts me to put it down when it gets too hot up there, and I do, I don’t like doing it because I don’t want to be in the middle of things, but I do. Up until today it seemed to be working, but now it’s just ridiculous I think. Having to change it 3 times in just a few hours….
What would you do?
Why doesn’t everyone agree on a temp and set the thermostat? I can’t stand the house being hot and humid. Give me cool any day of the week.
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See thats the thing: I’ve been chilly but still comfortable at 20.5. The people upstairs are comfortable and lovely at 20.5. HE will always change it back to 21.5….
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Okies so just cornered by him: he’s going to get sick if its always down “that low” and its not even humid out (because the temp outside is always the same inside all the time….) and *I* need to stop changing it and if they are hot upstairs then *they* need to change it and no he wont talk to them about it, and if I don’t stop leaving toothpaste spit all over the counter in the bathroom he’s going to spray it all with bleach because there’s no way for people to live in COVID times and not make compromises. So the spots on the counter are soap bubbles from me washing my hands with vigour because I am the only one out of us two who washes their hands in the bathroom…..Rob I seriously can’t….
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Wow. That guy needs to chill out – literally and figuratively
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100%
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As many stories as I’ve seen about your Crazy roommate, my gut reaction would be the desire to punch him in the face. However, I’m a grown up and that’s just not how we settle things as grown ups. First of all, he needs to be schooled in the definition of the word compromise. Compromise does not mean “everyone gives me what I want because that’s the way I want it.” Compromise means that each party involved in the dispute walk away losing something for the benefit of all. If he’s getting chilled by the fact that the people upstairs need the thermostat dropped by one measly degree, then he needs to go to the nearest department store and by a tiny little space heater for his tiny little room. Twenty bucks, tops. I’ve had to do that in previous housing situations I’ve found myself in. That’s how you compromise. Not by forcing an 8-month pregnant woman to suffer in the summer heat and humidity. What’s this guy’s phone number? I want to give him a piece of my mind!
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When this temp battle started about a month ago he was walking around in a sweater and long pants and socks saying he was “this close” to turning on his heater. The pregnant lady is emailing the landlord and BCCing me on it so I’m in the loop. She said for me to stop changing the temp for them and that I wasn’t to get in the middle anymore. But I have started a list of things to give the landlord later to help get him out. Like possible times he’s been smoking in the house. He threatened the last upstairs tenant with that – either move their kids bedroom so that it wasn’t over his anymore or he’d smoke in the room.
I’m not allowed to text him anymore. After just sending one text to him in November. He flipped out.
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Okay, I am genuinely concerned that you are sharing a house with someone who is legitimately mentally ill. I’m nowhere near licensed, but I’ve spent enough time in the mental health services field to confidently say I think this guy is diagnose-able on more than one level.
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He is definitely on the spectrum. I had plans to leave this summer but covid happened. God seems to have opened a door but not sure if it will remain open. If it does, of course I will fill the blog in.
The people upstairs are a jail guard (the pregnant lady) and her husband who is a registered hunter and construction man. Both have offered their assistance the SECOND I feel threatened in anyway. From the first day they moved in they have opened that offer up to me.
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Okay, good… concern slightly alleviated. I feel like your patience knows no bounds. Pretty sure I’d lose it on this guy a few weeks into living there.
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Im glad your concern is lifted lol honestly it took a few months to learn his ticks and stuff and I have grown a lot as a person just having to deal with him all the time. Part of me feels bad he is treated so badly by the people upstairs but I know he brings it on himself. He tried to get me on his side to complain to the landlord with him but honestly I really like them. Sure a few things bother me but not enough to do anything. I haven’t even complained about him so why would I complain about the others? Lol
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Ugh, Crazy is just getting…crazier 😦 I hope your open window stays open long enough!!!
Have to laugh at the temp thing. It’s funny how we adjust to our climates – I cringe at your winter temps but they are normal for you. But I do live in a land of extremes! The place I live now goes from min in winter of -5’C to max in summer of low 40’s (although the average is probably about 30’C). When I was pregnant with the Barbarians and living further north I was in my final trimester battling 40′ and humidity in the 90% range. That was nasty.
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A few new developments happened today but the lady upstairs told me to stop changing the temp. She will come and to it. So it cooled down after some rain and she put the temp back up to 21.5 which is where HE likes it. Then he comes out and notices that its there, mumbles something and drops it to 20.5!! Like I don’t get it! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
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*shaking head* Oh my gosh, crazy indeed.
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Mmmhmmm
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Oh Dear, Well, I guess it needs to stay between them. You just need to stop spitting soap bubbles in the sink. Lol
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LOL he’s apparently sooo concerned over covid when he hasn’t been at all since March. He can deal with soap on the counter considering he doesn’t wash his hands
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Crazy doesn’t seem to have much empathy, does he? He could always wear a sweater or have a small personal heater for his room if he is that cold, but the upstairs people can’t really take off more clothes. One degree is not going to make a huge difference anyway!
Seriously though, are you (and the kids/pregnant lady) safe? Because this guy reminds me of many of my clients from my social worker days… The type that flies off the handle rather quickly. It’s probably best to not get in between, but you could maybe take notes of the stuff he says or record your conversations with him? The landlord needs to take his responsibilities and either give him a stern talking to or ask him to leave. Living in shared accommodations means having to make compromises!
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Yes exactly! The change of one degree down here drops the temp at least FIVE upstairs!
We have reached out to the landlord and I have a note on my phone. I try not to get in the middle but I’m also tired of him bossing me around too! As long as he’s in control of everything then he’s fine. But the upstairs people had a little bbq get together on Monday that I was invited to and now all of a sudden everything is an issue. I think its connected lol
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Yeah, maybe he is jealous of your good neighbouring relationship with the upstairs people? He sounds like he has nasty control issues!
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Yeah I think he is. He’s talked to me about it before and he does seem sad that I’m siding with them and he’s never included in things. But he is also a big jerk. I moved in with no knowledge of him or his ways. I saw him when I viewed the place but that was it. So my opinion of him is based on his own actions. The people upstairs knew the old tenants and they had been warned by the landlord too lol so they knew.
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I understand his point of view. Like… It sucks to feel rejected. But at the same time, he can only blame himself. You don’t make friends by trying to control everything they do!
Didn’t you say that he was possibly moving out soon-ish? Is this still happening?
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Right?’ Only himself to blame!
I’m gonna fb message you lol
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