A Little Catch Up

A little insight into my life right now. It will get super personal and long, so if you’re not into personal stuff or reading a lot, maybe continue on your way today.

It has been a very strange period of growth for me during this pandemic. I have made some serious life changes.

First, was introducing a lot of exercise into my day. It’s been great for my own mental health I think to be able to have that change of pace. I’m motivated and determined to keep it up.

I’ve been eating less, eating out less, and cooking more. Maybe this will result in some positive body changes, if not, I feel better so that’s all I can really hope for.

I’ve cut boys from my life. I have kind of mentioned this before, but really I have cut them all out. I have three men who I communicate with who are not part of my family or my job. One is the person I was seeing from Dec-beginning of March and our communications are like “hey you ok?” “yeah you?” “yup”. I have stopped initiating them. One is someone I went on one date with but instead of a romantic entanglement this pretty awesome friendship has evolved. He usually pops up asking the meaning of some English slang (English is his second or third language) and then we catch up. And the other is someone from my past who I can’t see myself breaking from but I have stopped initiating conversation there as well and set some firm restrictions on what we can talk about.

So basically, I am not contacting any male. If they contact me I will be polite and civil and whatnot but there is no communication happening there. Of course this does not apply to the males who read/interact with me here on my blog lol. I am doing this because I know that if I want to focus on my relationship with God, I can’t be distracted by the physical world and the desires of the body.

For a really long time I have been struggling with some nasty habitual sins that I needed to take care of. I don’t know why it was time that my heart finally was like “we are fixing this” but now is that time. I have started to keep a log of my feelings for the day and am writing it as letters to Jesus. I’m not so great at praying what I’m feeling and I often get very distracted in my own prayer life, but when I write I am focused and usually stay on topic.

I just finished writing my Day 16 letter and it’s become pressed on my heart to share with you a little bit of what’s going on. Not everything but a little bit.

As a Christian, it’s really important for me to be held accountable in my walk and in my faith and I feel most comfortable sharing with you lovely people. Mostly because I don’t really know you in person, and I never have to see your faces and if, after reading posts like this, you have a different view of me as a person then I don’t really feel that negative backlash from it. Much different than if I were to be speaking to someone face to face.

About two months ago, I decided to cut one of my habitual sins from my life. Just cold turkey, cut it out, I’m done. And so far that’s been going really really well. The temptation to slip back into it has not yet arisen. Which I am very very thankful for.

Once I did that, I felt I was able to introduce daily prayer and bible reading into my life. Which I should have been doing as a Christian woman. But I have never really had that in my life. Ever. But now it’s there – I wake up and pray, eat my breakfast while reading my bible for no less than 15 minutes, and then I can start my day. Since it’s getting hotter out and I need more time to let my breakfast settle before my morning exercise, I am now waking up thirty minutes earlier for that food to settle which allows me more time to read my bible before leaving for my walk and then jumping into work.

I have started to see the changes in my own attitude and those around me as I have adjusted. A simple conversation with the roommate which usually would have erupted into chaos and shouting, was just a simple conversation. I ended my connection with The Guy 16 days ago, and 14 days ago I started tutoring the girl upstairs to help earn some extra money that I was hoping for.

Now I am trying to focus more on my religious walk. I have been researching things about my habitual sins that I am trying to get rid of. Finding out why they are considered sins and the backing for that. It helps to know the history of things sometimes, ya know? I am setting new boundaries for myself and adjusting how I think and react to situations which would have led me into the trappings that I used to get stuck in.

But now it seems to be going ok. Two months of slow changes, just over two weeks of a dedicated and determined heart and spirit. It’s been difficult and emotional but worth it.

Now comes my next step – really involving God in aspects of my life where he wasn’t before, but he should have been.

As we all know, I’m not exactly thrilled in my current roommate situation. I have basically been planning to move out since I moved in. I love the friendship I have developed with the people upstairs and they are truly a saving grace during this pandemic. However, I am still wanting to move.

Once again I have had an idea pop into my head. When I first moved to Toronto about three and a half years ago, I was placed in an apartment of someone my employer knew. Now, I loved living there. It was the perfect place for me I think but when I needed to move last summer, I thought it was massively out of my price range. I have $1200 stuck in my head for some reason and I’m not sure if that’s what he was asking from my employer or what. But it’s on my heart to reach out to him to see if he’s renting again.

I decided to see if I could free up some money and devote more of my pay to rent. This morning I went to change my cell phone plan. I have a lot of data that I don’t use so I was thinking if I downgraded I could save about $15 a month or so. Or I was hoping. So I checked out the plans offered by my provider and none of them were even worth switching for. At most I’d save $5 a month and all that I was changing was my data – going from 4GB to 1GB. I looked into how much more I had to go to pay off my phone (I’ve had it for almost 2 years so I should have been getting close) and IT WAS AT $0!!! Which means my bill will automatically go down $15 a month! YES!

A sign if I ever saw one.

So I’m thinking that I will be reaching out to my old landlord. I did the number crunching, and after tithing and bills and saying I could pay $900 a month in rent, I would have just under $200 left over. It’s not a lot BUT it would get me into a bigger and better place with less stress and drama. Closer to work to cut down on some transportation costs, and maybe even allow myself to get back into some online teaching to increase my income a little bit. Or I have felt that I should take my letters to Jesus and try to share them as a book. I think a lot more people are struggling with the same things I am but since it is so looked down upon within the Christian community and comes with buckets of shame and guilt, a lot are struggling alone.

So here I am – on the edge of making a HUGE life decision. I have started to pray about it, and tomorrow I will be fasting. I have never fasted before in search of answers from God so it will be interesting. Since I have never done it before, I’m going to have to do some researching into it and see what I will settle on. Right now in my mind it will be a 12 hour fast: 7am-7pm. But that’s as far as I have considered.

There ya have it. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for sharing in my sharing. I know it’s not always easy for people to speak about their religion or faith or how they see God working in their lives, but I am trying to get better at it and I know that those who follow this blog will always be supportive – even if they don’t believe the same things that I do.

Also if anyone has any experience in fasting and has things that they found works for them, lemme know in the comments below 🙂

26 thoughts on “A Little Catch Up

  1. I’ve had the opposite experience than you. I can’t walk or put weight on my foot and gained the quarantine 15+ it seems. I find myself constantly snacking or eating whatever unhealthy thing I can find in the house. I’m not sure what kinds of sins you have done in the past and it’s probably best that I don’t know. Deep down… if it felt wrong, then it was probably was. Your intuition is usually right.

    I’m agnostic and not connected to God per say, but I work on personal growth and development on a daily basis. I devote about 2-3 hours a day to personal growth and development. I’m a very spiritual person and read a lot of related books/listen to podcasts. It’s been years since I’ve read the Bible. My husband on the other hand, is catholic and feels a deep connection to God. It’s great that you have found what works for you and gives you a reason to jump out of bed in the morning. 😇

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh goodness I bought three packs of mini chocolate bars on Saturday (thats 30 minis) and had devoured them by Wednesday! LOL if I have snacks in the house I will eat them. Thankfully Im in a pretzel phase and Im not a huge fan of pretzels so its all good to just have a few and leave them lol

      Liked by 1 person

      • I love mini chocolate bars! Usually, I try to buy them around Halloween season but Dollarama makes it oh-so-accessible any time of the year. I have 0 control when it comes to chocolate, so I make fat bombs now, which taste just as good and only 5 ingredients. Sadly, I’m out of some of the ingredients so I can’t make them these days, but they help keep cravings at bay.

        I tried milk duds for the first time yesterday and they were so gross, and yet I ate the whole box anyways (no control). I expected them to be similar to Junior Mints which I love but boy, was I wrong! The stomach ache I had yesterday evening wasn’t pleasant! I’m a sucker for buying candy for my 3-year old too which I know is terrible. I think I’m doing something nice for her by buying these sour candy things (they were delicious though) but I’m not doing her or myself any favors. For now on, I will stick to bubbles, coloring books, play-doh and crafts.

        Liked by 1 person

          • Milk duds were so disappointing. Perhaps I got a bad box of stale ones… they were hard and extremely difficult to chew. Junior Mints is where it’s at! I can’t buy them because I have no self-control. Next time I’m at Dollarama, I’m going to avoid the candy aisle altogether.

            P.S. Dollarama’s Thai coconut water is worth buying. It’s only one ingredient with no added sugar! They also carry Silk milk and oat milk now (idk the brand). I recognized the oat milk box and bought some to try. I’ve never had oat milk but know people who like this particular brand, plus I’m looking for a milk replacement for my coffee.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Oh very cool! Ive tried to get into milk alternatives but never really gotten into them. I have no problem drinking milk though so I’m ok with that lol

              I use coffee mate creamer. The double double flavour. Its non dairy and doesnt taste like chemical flavouring lol but I am trying to cut back on it. I’ve started measuring out how much I use and will slowly decrease it

              Liked by 1 person

              • I [used to] love coffee mate! My favourite one was Hazelnut, 2nd fav was French Vanilla. I don’t drink it anymore because of the laundry list of ingredients. Even though it doesn’t taste like chemicals (who would want a mouthful of chemicals?), I know it’s highly processed and for that reason I stopped buying it. It’s just milk in my coffee now… even though I am lactose intolerant. Until I find a good milk alternative, I will continue to add milk to my coffee (currently 2% milk).

                Liked by 1 person

                  • Are you a fan of Tim Hortons? Double Double reminds me of Tim’s lol I can’t drink double doubles – half of the cup is cream. I used to work at Tim’s and it was amazing how much cream and sugar we went thru in a matter of hours.

                    I think it’s interesting how Coffee Mate calls it a double double. Cream in coffee isn’t bad – whenever I go to MCDs I get it with one cream one sugar. I used to get it with one cream or 2 milk + 2 sugar. I’ve cut down on sugary drinks quite a lot over the years. Start slow – over time you’ll adapt to less. 🙂

                    Like

                    • Lol yes I used to work at Tims too. The double double didn’t have that much cream in it 😂 but it is crazy how much cream and sugar you go through when working. Especially a morning shift. I don’t like their coffee any more though. They’ve changed the taste of it and I am not a fan anymore.

                      I think the company was trying to capitalize on the Canadian customers liking Tim Hortons. I find it less sweet than a double double.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Really? I thought it had a lot of cream! I guess it’s a difference in opinions 😂 It amazed me how many people would order triple triples too! Yes, I agree that their coffee isn’t good. MCDs coffee is where it’s at! I usually buy a can of MCDs coffee and brew it at home but I am out right now.

                      Whenever I order from Tims, I usually get their steeped tea. Their steepd tea is really good. I’m drinking one right now while I type this LOL

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Oh gross my friend would get a triple triple and it was disgusting! Even did it with earl grey – with cream not milk!! 🤢🤢🤢

                      I havent done coffee from MCDs, just hot chocolate and its good!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • OMG Seriously try MCDs coffee sometime. It’s the bomb! Often, MCDs gives a free coffee away during their free coffee weeks. I highly suggest you try it then. They give free refills too! You really can’t go wrong and it won’t cost you a pretty penny if you are hesitant to try it 🙂

                      I used to like MCDs hot chocolate until mine was basically powder with some hot water mixed in… the powder wasn’t even dissolved. It turned me off of MCDs hot chocolate. Their mochas are pretty good though! You can get a free med mc cafe beverage with their loyalty program (collect 7 stickers). So worth it! ☕️☕️💕

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Haha I might have to try one sometime! I want to pick up a burger for lunch on Wednesday since I will be out anyway. Wasnt planning on a drink but maybe I will add one to my order if its not stupid hot out (its supposed to be stupid hot 😰)

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Sometimes they have discounts on coffee too ☺️ Usually I get the meal deal and with that you get a drink and fries with it. Haha even during the summertime it’s perfectly normal to drink hot coffee! 😂

                      Liked by 1 person

  2. I did intermittent fasting to lose weight before my wedding and the best tip: drink lots of water. It’ll help you feel full. And keep busy so you don’t think about how hungry you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks lovely! Its just for one day but I will try the water thing! And I was told black coffee too haha

      How was the intermittent fasting? I know a few people from my church who do it but Im like a hungry fat girl all the time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It took some time to get used to for sure, but once your body is used to the schedule, it’s way easy. I also found while doing it that when I ate my first meal (lunch), I became full very quickly. I’m a fan of it and kind of bummed that I stopped doing it, but given my current work schedule and not knowing when I’ll be able to eat, I kind of have to eat breakfast now.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve tried some intermittent fasting but I make part of it be the time I’m sleeping. Like I try to eat dinner before 7 PM and then don’t eat again until noon-ish the next day. I never was a big breakfast eater so it seems to work.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. With fasting the best thing to do is to keep your fluids up. Helps make your tummy feel less like grumbling and it’s important to stay hydrated. Also make sure you have some pain relief handy as you can get a headache with it as well, especially if you are starting out and not doing it regularly.

    I am keeping everything crossed you are able to get a new apartment with that landlord, and that the price is better than you’re remembering.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the tip AJ! I have the advil on standby lol I ate a bigger breakfast than normal and if Im dying in the afternoon have decided I will have a small snack just to make it.

      I hope it works out too! It really seems to fit my needs both financially and in every other way. But if it doesn’t at least I know my budget now and can look for other places based on that. Especially closer to work as that would cut down on even more expenses. ☺️

      Like

  5. A very inspirational post! I admire you for deciding to take the faith journey you have.

    I wish you nothing but the best from the path you have chosen, and I know it will result in wonderful blessings for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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