“Ow ow ow ow owie!” Cass hopped up and down and all around holding her head in pain. “BRAIN FREEZE!” She yelled over the voices of her friends sitting beside her.
“I’m here to tell you that I am an expert on the subject of brain freeze,” Paul announced with authority to his friends at the kindergarten snack table. “I know how to cure it! What works, and what does not. Because I know.” He added a foot stamp just to make sure that the others knew he meant business!
Cass and Aaron rolled their eyes at each other as Becky starred Paul down, “Oh yeah?! Prroooooovvvvveee it, Paulie!”
“DON’T CALL ME PAULIE! I’M TELLING!”
“Oh come on Paul,” Aaron said, “just tell us what you know!”
“Yeah!” Cass chimmed in. Finally getting some relief from her own case of “the worst brain freeze like ever”.
Paul sat down all serious. His hand on his chin, then he pointed, at no one in particular, “Well – you can’t just wear a hat. THAT doesn’t work!”
“Pppffft we know that already!” Aaron said. “I bet you don’t know nothing!”
“Do so!” Paul replied. Ready to prove that he was the expert. “Ok, so the grown-ups just want you to think that there is nothing you can do right? Because they want us not to eat ice cream, right?”
“Right!” All three of Paul’s friends affirmed.
“Well there is two ways to cure it. I knows because I knows!” Paul was working up steam. “Okies, so the first thing you have to do is ya gotta stick your tongue on the top of your mouth. See like dis” Paul tried to talk as he pushed his tongue up onto the roof of his mouth. “A eee…wen id ike dis, id warns up your bwain”
“It what?!” Becky looked disgusted at Paul because she was sure he just spat at her.
Relaxing his tongue, Paul corrected himself, “YA SEEEEEEEE” he emphasized, “When it’s like this, it warms up your brain.”
“OOOOOoooooOOOO” The girls were fascinated by the science that five-year-old Paul knew.
“Nu-uh!” Aaron retorted. “Your brain isn’t there!”
“Is too!” shouted Paul. “My older brother Dylan told me so! Your brain is on the top of your head right?!”
“Uh-huh,” Aaron could at least agree with that.
“Well your mouth is on the bottom of your head. So it’s under your brain!”
“WOW,” Aaron was now on board with the science of Paul! “What’s the other way?”
“Well, ya gotta warm up your brain ya see. And if a hat isn’t gonna do it, and your tongue isn’t gonna do it, then your thumb is gonna do it!”
“Your thumb?” Cass giggled. “What does your thumb have to do with brain freeze?”
“Ya put it right where your tongue was, on the top of your mouth. And ya push a little. Not too much, just a little. And it gets warm and then your brain sucks all the warm out of your thumb and keeps it until the frozen isn’t in the brain anymore!”
Cass giggled again. “Paul, ya know I think you’re just a little bit crazy,” she laughed as she slowly put her thumb into her mouth.
After a few seconds, she started to feel her brain getting all the way back to normal. It could have been because her thumb was giving all its heat to her brain or it could have been because it had been about 10 minutes now since she finished eating her ice cream, no one will ever know for sure.
“WOW IT WORKS!!” She exclaimed to the rest of her group.
Every one rushed around her to see the results first hand. Now all three friends believed Paul was the most educated expert on brain freeze – telling everyone else in Ms. Brown’s SK class. Every time they ate anything even remotely cold, you’d have 23 little five-year-olds running around with thumbs in their mouths or tongues pushed all the way up to the roof of their mouths.
A big thank you to Paul for the inspiration for this post! And to Aaron, Becky, and Cass for agreeing to lend their names to its silliness. If you don’t know who they are, click their names and find out!
For those of you just stopping by, this post is being written in participation of the A to Z challenge. No Love For Fatties will resume regular posts as of May 1st. Until then, enjoy a new short story every day of the month! If you are stopping by from A to Z, let me know by leaving a comment in the section below!