Leap of faith

leap of faith im actually going for it GIF by Bachelor in Paradise

Alright you nosy Peeps and Meeps! I know you’re dying to know what’s up with my love life. I haven’t posted anything really since the fall when The Guy and I ended things after like four months of “I don’t know what this is but it’s good so whatevers dude let me live my life STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS I DONT KNOW THE ANSWER TO!”

modern family idk GIF

Now, I still don’t have the answers to whatever that was, but I can fill you in on a little bit of what’s been going on since then.

Right after I told The Guy that I needed a break from communication with him since he obviously just wanted to be friends and I wanted us to be more than that (which was DUMB. Like T, seriously. Pull your self-worth back up where it belongs!) And I didn’t talk to him for legit 2 solid months.

In September, I do what I always do when getting over some romantic failure, something more than a few dates, and I met this one guy online. I won’t get into the details but y’all I was SMITTEN! That lasted a few weeks of flirting and a few marriage proposals but it was doomed from the start because, well, I’m a good Christian girl from Toronto and he was a drug-dealing ex-Muslim from NYC. Unclutch your pearls, we’ve all been sucked in by some rocking abs at one point in our lives or another.

oitnb meme GIF

Okies so then there was a little bit of a break. But after those two months of silence from The Guy, I was over it. I was over the embarassment of putting myself out there and his essentially ghosting me, and the regret of sticking with him as long as I did and making excusing in my mind of how it was all ok when I was just grasping at straws. So I said hi to him over text and a few days later he said hi back and we got back in touch. We met up the following week for a chat after work, and that was when I was losing my voice but whatever, it was fine. We had a good coffee catch-up and he was just as handsome and funny and charming as he was before. But he was also as distant and ignoring me and stand-offish and hard to have a conversation with as before too.

About two weeks later I met this other guy. I have no idea what to call him, let’s just call him Squishy.

So Squishy and I met on POF which is now my go-to app because all the other dating apps have too many rules. Like why can’t I just message a guy or have guy message me? Why do I have to match first or some stupid rule that only girls can message first, or “hey this person messaged you but we aren’t going to show you their message just go to the swiping part and flip through the first 30 profiles until you find the one that says “messaged you” HOW LAME IS THAT?!

Back to my story:

Squishy and I were talking for a few days and he right away says “when can I meet you?” so we make plans for the following Friday. THAT SAME DAY The Guy asks to see me again. And made it sound urgent. So I was meeting him on the Wednesday. But Squishy and I were talking on Tuesday and had a spur of the moment meet up and it was great! I still saw The Guy on Wednesday though. He had a key chain he wanted to give me and spent 15 of the 20 minutes together on his phone ordering cognac instead of talking to me so yeah…great….

Squishy and I kept our plans for the Friday but instead of us going out he came over to my place. Now, full honesty: that was the first time I’ve ever had a guy at my place. In any place. Like EVER. And I just have my bedroom here so I made it perfectly clear it was not for “chilling” but for hanging out and he promised to behave so he came over, we watched a movie on my bed, and he was a gentleman. He also got the very last of the my squishies that I bought for my students for Christmas – hence he is now Squishy.

Then a few days later silence from him for a week. He popped up again on Christmas Day and I thought we were going great again, but I always have to initiate every single conversation. We had silence for that week because he left me on read on Whatsapp and never replied. Then about another week and a half of great conversation and I’m not on read for the last week. So he’s gone. I have no time for him being a zombie.

Image result for ghosting, zombie, benching
The Guy was totally Benching me BTW

I know this is getting long so I’ll wrap it up: I decided to reply to a message of someone I normally wouldn’t because I thought their home was too far away from mine. That was on Wednesday. It’s now Monday evening and he hasn’t disappeared, but we haven’t met, but I’m glad I took that chance because he seems really nice. He also is the type of person I normally wouldn’t talk to for some personal reasons that are not up for discussion but again, I am really enjoying it. He might just be a week or two of really nice conversation or he might turn into something more. Who knows. But for now, I stepped out of my comfort zone and it was a good choice.

4 thoughts on “Leap of faith

  1. I had to send a link to your blog to my daughter who is also 30-something and doing the online dating thing. I knew she would “get it.” I have to say I am SO glad I don’t have to do the dating thing anymore and truthfully, after being married for 35 years, if something was to happen to my husband now, I’d stay single. Not worth the trouble to train another one! LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  2. He’s out there, T. Probably where you least expect, so maybe this one is the one? I don’t understand guys who do that ignore thing. I reckon it’s the internet dating thing, cause it’s easy to do all those things (ghosting etc). In the pre online dating world you had a phone and rang or didn’t ring. Pretty simple. Maybe there’s somewhere else you can meet guys besides the phone? (((Hugs)))

    Liked by 2 people

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