An Overhaul

How do you feel about the blogging experience?

Do you feel like it’s this authentic thing? Like you’re actually connected to it? As a growing, living thing, that you are responsible for?

I used to feel like that. I used to be excited about blogging. I used to blog every single day. I used to feel off if I didn’t blog at least a little something.

But it’s been a long time since I felt that way, and honestly, I miss it. I miss that creative outlet that I had in my life, that made my brain work and offered a small bit of solace in my life and a way to sort out what was in my mind.

I miss the connections that I used to have with people. I miss being able to come here and have that community that I used to have. But it’s not completely all gone – and for those who have stuck around, I am eternally grateful.

There is just something so special about the bond that comes from blogging – it’s a place where you get to be completely vulnerable and open with your own thoughts and feelings. You get to be whomever you want and get to experience life in whatever way that you want. That’s the beauty of an online presence – and especially one like mine where I live in obscurity to most of my readers. It is a really amazing feeling to be able to be as free and open as I want, knowing that if anyone is going to judge me, it doesn’t really matter because they don’t know me and I don’t have to face them.

But then, there is the downside to being so open and vulnerable – you share your emotions. That was exactly why I started this blog. It was for me to use as a diary of sorts to get through a really difficult time of transition in my life. It helped so much to just be able to get things out of my mind and organized a bit. I never expected the followers to come, but they did. And I never expected the bonds that I have formed with people, but I cherish them! Sometimes the bonds were too much to handle and real feelings develop there – sometimes feelings I wasn’t prepared for and ones that totally took over my heart.

When those formed, and I was forced to break them because they weren’t reciprocated, I feel like I pulled away from my blog. I didn’t want that to happen again, this whole experience just reminded me of that person and the connection that we shared. But I want to get back into blogging. It’s been over a year now and I want to be able to write again like I used to! I need to make time for it again.

Yesterday, I decided to do something I thought I would never do: I deleted a lot of my followers. It’s something that sounds ridiculous to bloggers, I know. The main point is to build a following and get your words out there. That’s been great! But I also miss the authentic connection that I get from the real connections.

So I went into my followers’ list and decided that anyone I didn’t have a connection with was no longer going to be following my blog. I started off with 1273 followers. I knew that quite a few of those people would be spam accounts or commercial blogs that I didn’t need following me.

I made sure to scroll all the way down to the bottom of my list. It took about an hour before my web browser stopped adding more names to “the end” of the list (I’d delete a whole bunch and it would make room for more at the bottom of the list), but I finally got down to the very first follower (November 3rd, 2015!) and started from the bottom and worked my way to the most recent. When it was all said and done, I had invested about 3 hours into it and have dropped myself down to 63 followers. I literally cut 1,200 people from this blog.

I did make at least one cut unintentionally! I was distracted and hit the remove button while my browser readjusted itself and that person has been contacted. I hope it’s the only mistake I made. I have no way of knowing who else might have been cut by a slip of my finger. So if you’ve noticed that you’re no longer following this blog and you actually wanted to, please feel free to add yourself back on! I’m sure there is more than one mistake that happened.

But now it’s just up to the future how many followers this blog will have! I will be more on top of things going forward, and any commercial blogs will probably be removed right away, but I’m excited to be starting with an almost clean slate, and only bringing those who make this my happy space along.

26 thoughts on “An Overhaul

    • LOL when I realized what had happened I was like NOOOOOO thankfully, you’re active enough in my comments, and me in yours, that I knew I could reach out to you haha

      I’ve tried to do this a few times, but I would start at the top of the list with the newest follows and work to the back, so when I had deleted enough for it to allow more at the bottom, it would be weird and I’d get lost in the process. This way was much easier! I started at the bottom and had a steady removal of all the ones I didn’t want there. A few I struggled with keeping, and there is one that I was like “UGH thank goodness I have found her name and she’s gone!” cos I just get annoyed at all her comments and don’t even engaged with her haha

      Liked by 2 people

  1. I totally get you. I miss blogging too, and the authenticity and connection that comes with it. After the whole stalking debacle with the husband’s ex-wife, I started censoring myself and wrote less and less. But I miss it and I want to try and get back into it in 2020… I look forward to reading more of your posts! I like your blog and how your bubbly personally shines through it. It makes it one of my favourite blogs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww thanks Frede!! That is so sweet! I’m not sure why I lost my motivation to blog, I know a lot of it came from the shift in schedule but I do also miss the community of it all. Which basically died off because I stopped blogging 😂 I’m hoping to get back into it.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think your blog should always be what you want it to be, not what you think others want it to be. Good on you for culling your followers – particularly if it makes you feel more at home at your own blog! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts in 2020.

    I know I love my little corner of cyberspace. I started blogging on blogger in 2009, and had built up a huge following. But then I created my own little website and started my blog there, and am having to build up followers again. But it worries me a lot less now than it did when I first started blogging.

    Here’s to an awesome 2020, T xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to be obsessed with stats and stuff and was so proud of my over 1200 followers but then each post only gets 10-60 views depending on what it is – so the followers don’t reflect my connection lol I think I’ll be much more grounded in my blogging going forward

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Every now and then a change is needed. For me I had to set my blog aside as I wrote my book. For you it’s finding the true followers. It’s healthy for the blogger and for the followers. We are showing them how much we care. I get what you’re doing. The people you chose to keep are real. They are the ones you are writing for.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Glad I survived the cut! I feel like this post is exactly what I needed to read right now. I’ve felt detached from my blog since August and I miss it. The connects we have here with strangers is amazing and I feel like if one of us falls of the blogging wagon, a few others follow too. Here’s hoping we can both get back on!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You showed up in my feed, so I guess I made the cut! Phewf!! Hey, no worries about not blogging on the daily. Sometimes writers just need a break. I know what you mean about missing that community feel. Fatty McCupcakes rarely writes anymore and I miss her so much. Keep doing what you do!! PS belated merry Christmas.!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I definitely feel ya! I didn’t write as much this year as I did last year, mostly because I didn’t have time but also sometimes I didn’t feel like sharing every moment of my life. It’s okay if you don’t blog all the time or take a break! Life happens.

    Also I’m glad I made the cut! I always look forward to your posts 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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