It doesn’t exactly feel real yet.

Tomorrow is my last day of working as a nanny. It hasn’t really sunk in yet. Like I know that I’m leaving and that I’m done but it just feels like a regular Saturday right now. I know tomorrow will be different.

I wanted to make sure that I left on a good note. I’ve been spending extra time with the kids, as much as I possibly can that is with my house duties taking up the majority of my time lately. But I’ve been rushing through those things and really that just means that I’m spending more time with 4th because the other kids have activities and are doing their own thing.

4th is the most vocal one about me leaving. She started actually saying that she loves me and will always follow it “until you leave and then you are a traitor and dead to this family.” Yesterday, she didn’t even want to tell me how her day went because she doesn’t like strangers knowing her business lol.

But tomorrow will be the last day. And even though it doesn’t feel real just yet, I am still getting emotional about it. I took some time tonight and wrote letters to all the kids, and one to the parents. Just a few paragraphs on the child and what I will miss about them. I hope they like them. But I feel awkward about them now – like do I give them out? Do I wait until I’m leaving and then just like leave them to be found? I definitely don’t want them to read them in front of me. No thank you! It actually took about two hours to write them. I was also watching Glee at the same time, you know the episode where the character who played Finn had died in real life and it was his tribute on the show? So that combined with the letter writing had me crying and dripping tears every where. I hate emotions sometimes!

But I know that this is going to be such a great change for me. I know that I needed to be a nanny to this family in order to be a teacher. The last three years have taught me so so much. About myself, and about how to be a good teacher and mentor to children. It gave me skills I didn’t know I lacked and I would have really sucked as a teacher if I didn’t have them. I am so blessed that I was able to have this opportunity before starting my teaching career. And even more so because when I started being a nanny, I didn’t want to go back into teaching at all. Ever. And here I am! Doing it!

I am so excited, but also terrified, and really sad that I’ll be leaving my kids. I really hope the tears stay in their place tomorrow! 4th says there will be cake and I’m sure there will be pictures too so I need to be not red and puffy.