I have something that has been bothering me. So listen up!
Yeah, girl (or guy), I know!
Okies so here’s the tea, ya’ll know I have some online dating profiles (actually none right now because me and the mister have already had the “sooo you’re still on there?” “well I mean I’ll delete it if you want me to, are you going to?” “umm if you want me to” conversation) and have been for a while. Like on and off for about two years. There have been some successes and some not, and some total failures.
Today, I want to write about the serial messenger. This guy can be characterized by his ability to disappear for a few months and then pop up again like nothing ever happened.
I just had enough with one guy this morning who always does this, so I wanted to share his story.
We first started talking almost two years ago. It must have been July/August of 2017. We were kind of chatting a little bit and then we exchanged names and his name is the same name as my brother. And I found that a little weird, so I told him so. He called me and we chatted on the phone and he called me spoiled and entitled.
And then we stopped talking cos I was a little weirded out. I told my brother about it and he thought I was a little crazy for saying that. Like my brother’s name is very popular so it could very well happen that I might end up with someone who has that name (current mister does not). So after some reflection, I thought: ok, going forward, I won’t let that bother me. But with this guy, it was already over.
So then last year sometime (May/June 2018) he pops up again. We both had new profiles and stuff and at first, I didn’t remember him but after chatting a little bit I am 95% positive it’s the same guy. For this story, let’s just say he is.
We started striking up a conversation and getting to know each other again, and then we got to the point where we moved off the site and into mobile app/text exchange. We talked for a few days and there was the mention of “hey do you want to meet in person?” and agreement all around but nothing was firmly set. And then the conversation just stopped.
Fast forward a few months and he pops up again. “hey do you remember me?” We established that the ball was dropped and kind of picked up where we left off again, with the thinking it would be nice to meet up but we never did. I remember I still had his phone number so I was the one who started our off-site conversations again. Even though it was so long ago, I distinctly remember that I sent the last text before the silence. He didn’t reply and at this point, I’m thinking we’ve tried this enough times, he’s not replying, he’s not really that interested, so I’m moving on. I’m not there to waste my time or anyone else’s. I didn’t double text just to get a response. If he was interested, he would have replied, or remembered that he likes talking to me and sent some sort of other message. But nothing. And this was after he would send messages like “I want you.” “you know I want you, don’t you want me too?”
Woo, take another running leap with me to a few weeks ago. He messages me, again, on the website. I’m the type of person who can’t just ignore someone who hasn’t really done me any wrongs, ya know? It’s just rude. So I hesitantly reply. I know full well who this person is now and I’m not interested at all but I still can’t just ghost him. He says last time I “left him hanging” and that “you know I want you baby” ps: to all those guys out there. If we aren’t in a relationship, don’t call me baby. It makes me want to punch you in the throat. And then he goes on to say that I was the reason we never met up, and can he have my number and I was like “what’s even the point? we’ve tried this before.”
He apparently still had it because he text after I went to bed one night. I didn’t reply, because I was sleeping, and I wake up to his text message and a message on the site being all “I text and you ignored me”. Like DUDE! You say you’re 38, stop acting like a child. I was all “…..I was sleeping….” And then a few more weeks of silence.
This morning he pops up AGAIN. Saying hi and what was I up to. And now I’m just like OMG STOP so I answer “wondering why you’re messaging me honestly”. And he says that it’s not true that he just disappears and, again, he “wants me”, and now I’m just ignoring him because I’ve asked him to stop contacting me and that I’m tired of his games and he’s just replying that I’m being unfair and that he’s hurt.
Boo-hoo for you.
Seriously, if you’re the type of person who does this, just stop! I think it’s natural for some conversations to just die out and then get picked up again, but if you’re still trying to make it happen after almost two years, then it’s not going to happen. And when someone asks you to stop contacting them, stop. Don’t switch from text to WhatsApp to see if you get a response there. That just gets your number blocked on two platforms instead of one. UGH!
It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this dude!!
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Oh most definitely! He seems like a nice enough guy but show some genuine interest and put in some effort if its what you actually want! Like come on….lol
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ugh this guy sounds terrible. I once had someone text me who I had apparently texted outside a dating app but this was years later. I asked who it was and when he replied with his name I asked how we knew each other and he said “I have you in my phone as Rosie Tinder” ….so you’re just texting all the tinder girls in your phone even though you don’t remember them? serial messengers are so weird lol
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Yeah it’s so strange! I’ve had a few past guys pop up over the last few weeks! Thankfully his messages stopped after “I’m hurt” cos I was about to block him lol in my phone I had his number saved as “Name Ugh” LOL!!! Like when that’s your name in my phone, it’s time to stop messaging me
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The guy seems wierd but you can’t help laughing when he says he is hurt
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Haha I know right?!
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Ive heard a lot of this kinda dickery from mates. But ditto, I agree I think you dodged a bullet with him. X
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P s but I’ve met some true freaks online and not the fun kind; )
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Oh I’ve had a few non-funnt freak outs as well lol
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That behaviour is annoying at any age, but especially when you’re 30+. Don’t give the time of day to people like that because when they do it, it probably means they’re taking to many people and picking from a group and using the others as backups.
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Omg yes! Exactly!! The older I get the less tolerant I am of grown men acting like little boys. And I didn’t even bring up the fact that I’ve started seeing someone, just told him I’m tired of his games lol usually I’ll make some sort of excuse but not for him. Pfft
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Makes me glad I met The Hub before online dating (although my brother met his wife – who is wonderful – online so there is hope!).
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Yes there is definitely hope for great matches through online dating. Just sometimes you have to go through a LOT of losers to get to one
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A lot of toads to find the frog worth kissing 😉
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Ugh yes definitely!
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This is honestly the worst! I feel you girl! But don’t worry you dodged a bullet there & it sounds like you & the mister are in a good place!
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It’s the “two dates everything is just peachy” good place haha I’m hoping it stays there lol
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Crossing my fingers for ya!
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Thanks, girl!
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*rolls eyes
You need a good man, not a silly boy T;
Don’t give him one more second of your time or energy
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He has none of it! Lol it’s all going elsewhere
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Haha I’ve definitely been there! I know a lot of people say they’re glad they never had to deal with online dating, but it’s honestly just entertaining and make for great stories such as this. Men are equally crazy, and the online dating field has made that apparent.
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oh goodness yes! It would be much easier to just meet someone organically and then form a friendship before going on a first date, but then you don’t have all the crazy stories. I enjoy them most of the time but sometimes, like this guy, it’s just like “omg enough is enough already!” thankfully he hasn’t tried to message since
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I can so relate to this! I hate the calling me baby too! I even wrote a poem about it after I had a brief conversation with my ex who has no intention of being anything meaningful in my life! I definitely wanted to punch him in the throat!
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Some people just need to be punched in the throat with a chair, like just once! Haha!! Thanks for joining in the conversation
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Lmbo!
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So true.
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Here I thought I was the only one who hated guys who called me baby.
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I’m ok with it but if we’re in an established relationship but not with this guy haha
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