Do you ever wonder how people remember you? Like if you stop interacting with them, what’s the first thing that they think of when they think of you?
This notion popped up in my mind the other day. A guy was telling me how I’m a queen because of my red hair and super pale skin, ya know just telling God’s honest truth, and then I was like instantly transported back to the fall of 2017. November, actually. When I had broken up with my summer boyfriend and was going on my first date with the one who I have dubbed Mr. Wonderful in my posts about him.
If you’ve been here long enough to remember alllllllll the way back then (over a year ago! OMG) do you remember him? He was all excited because he always wanted to date a redhead. And like he would not let that go. How he was fulfilling a childhood dream because he was on a date with a redhead. And then another childhood dream because he got to kiss a redhead. Like it was annoying how often he brought that up and we only went out a small handful of times.
When I remember him, I remember a few things. The first thing is how it ended. Like how quickly it crashed and burned. Mostly because he needed someone to be more patient than I am and more understanding and more reassuring. I just couldn’t be the person he needed at that moment. But then I remember the few good things that made me give him the name Mr. Wonderful. Like how, on our first meeting/date, he brought me a gift bag with two bananas in it. LOL, you might think that’s weird but I was in my “that is so bananas” phase and said it almost every other sentence. He thought it was hilarious so that’s what he brought me. It was adorable. Or our “movie magic” first kiss. Good times.
But I think he remembers me as his first date/kiss with a red head. Or possibly as that girl who totally crushed him and now won’t answer his messages on the dating site now because he used to message me whenever I would reopen a profile – even under a different username. He’d still go “Unikitty!!” Which was his cute name for me because he said I was basically the character from the Lego movie.
And what about the person from this fall – I’ll always remember him as that guy I never actually met but he was my best friend and when I told him I loved him he didn’t even reply. I’m not sure that feeling will ever leave. But how will he remember me? From all the good memories that we had? Or for how things ended? Or from looking at the cover of my favourite book because HE STILL HAS IT AND HASN’T MAILED IT BACK TO ME YET OMG!!!! You just witnessed the surprise memory T who get super angry at remembering something that angers her…side note: never don’t return a book to T. It will burn a hole in her heart of anger over the lost pages.
Or what about my old best friend? The first thing I remember about her is how I felt when I stopped putting effort into our relationship. How I didn’t feel bad at all for deleting her contact information, or not responding to her constant requests to be friends on Facebook or Instagram. How it was great to leave all that negativity behind. How does she remember me?
Maybe we just remember the worst first? Or the last first? I’m not sure.
Do you think about this? Maybe it was just a sleep-deprived, over flattered brain moment that I was having.
Do you ever want to know how people remember you? I’m not sure I ever really want to know what they are really thinking, but I hope that those listed, and others, remember me in a good way, and not for any hard feelings I may have caused them.