So this post has taken about four different forms since my brain decided at 12:30 this morning that it was happening.
How do you feel about your ex’s?
Aside from one straight up, class A, poop-canoe, I’m actually ok with all of mine. Like we aren’t friends anymore, but I don’t want to run them over with my car or anything. Except for that one.
When I first heard Ariana Grande’s new song “Thank you, next” I really liked it. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and what I’m looking for, from my ex’s. I kind of am half jealous of those people who meet in high school and fall in love and live happily ever after because they don’t have to go through the dating struggle, but I’m also kind of glad I’m not one of them. The struggle sucks, but it also has helped me to grow as a person and to be sure of what I want in a partner.
Last Saturday, for my Saturday Questions 19 post, I was supposed to write about someone that I love. I refused for a few reasons. One, I’m finally at a place where I’m happy without that person and didn’t want to bring up all those old feelings. And two, I knew that person was a follower of my blog and I didn’t want to put it out there for them to read. But I have since learned that they are no longer following my blog (which was their choice, I unfollowed them and decided if they didn’t want to be part of my community they needed to unfollow me) and it kind of feels like a weight has been lifted.
I’m still not going to bring up all those feelings, but I am very thankful to that person. Because of that person, I really know what it feels like to actually be in love with someone. Before them, I never actually felt that strongly about any of my past relationships. But, to be clear, I was never actually in a relationship with this person.
Because of them, I expanded my interests: I now like the Rocky franchise (shocking, I know!), I read lots of great books that they recommended, I learned a tiny tiny tiny bit about football (which I have now forgotten because ew football), I started running because of this person, too. Like I thought I started because I had this desire to start running, but it was probably a subconscious decision to try to impress them. HA to you brain/heart! Now you’re stuck with it!
Because of them, I felt attractive to someone else. Like more than I ever have. And just for being me too. I now take on a “one and done” selfie mentality where I don’t take sooo many pictures to find “a good one” – no filters either, just my cute face!
I learned what it was like to have someone who I could randomly call and be like “I need a joke, please” and have them try to make me laugh until I was in a better mood. Or someone who could tell, just by how I was answering text messages, that something was wrong. I learned what it was like to be there for someone else – when they were having a bad day and just needed someone to vent to and listen to them talk. Someone to just share life with, ya know? And I learned how to address issues, have disagreements, apologize, and continue on.
So I learned that, and now I know what I need.
From other actual ex’s, people that I’ve actually been in relationships with, I’ve learned a lot too! The sense of humour I’m looking for in a partner, the way I need to communicate to feel valued and appreciated, how I need someone who I can text asking what two animals make up a unicorn and have them answer with no follow-up questions (or something equally silly).
While each of those relationships had their ending, some in a way more dramatic fashion than others, I still learned a lot from them. So, just like Ariana, thank you! And onto the next!
While looking for a gif for the start of this post, I was confused at how many popular movie gifs were showing up randomly, and then I realized that it wasn’t the movie, it was the music video using the movie! It’s super cute, watch it!
What have you learned from your ex’s? How have you grown? Lemme know in the comment section!