Dating Bucket List

I’m 2/3rds of the way into my Dateless December, and I have another reflection to share with you.

Have you ever felt like part of someone’s bucket list? We all know the whole concept around bucket lists: a list of things you want to accomplish before you kick the bucket. It’s a nice way to make some goals for life. I don’t really have a bucket list. I have a travel bucket list though – all the places I want to travel. And if you check out my blogging friend Rob, he just posted a Fuck it Bucket List this morning. Great minds think alike don’t they, Rob? Or did you hack into my phone and see that this was my topic for today?

In my last few years of dating here in Toronto (honestly, I wasn’t really too much into the dating before I moved here. Moving every 6-12 months doesn’t really leave a lot of space open for dating), I’ve found myself having the same conversation over and over with guys. And it usually starts off with him saying something like “Ya know, I’ve always wanted to date a redhead.”

Now I can understand the appeal to certain types of people. I definitely have a “type” (1-3 years old than me, taller than me, skin a beautiful shade of chocolate), but I’ve never had a list of characteristics of people I’d want to date and seek them out. Even with those things I listed in mind, I never get caught up in them if I have a connection with someone. 

Like I’ve dated quite a range of guys: African, Carribean, Asian, Italian, British, American, Canadian, tall, short, geeky, sporty, professional, not so professional.  But I’ve never had a “wow I need to date a — before I die ” So it always shocks me when I have the same conversation over and over with different guys.

One guy that I dated last summer was soooooo into the fact that I was a ginger. I got told so many times how his whole life, he’s always had a dream of dating and kissing a redhead. Like is it really that exotic? Really? Come on. We dated for about a month and the whole time “Wow I can’t believe I finally got my dream” “I can’t believe I’m finally dating a redhead” etc etc etc.

I guess the only thing that I’ve always wanted was a hockey enthusiast or a player. But that isn’t that the dream of every “heart full of ice and snow” Canadian girl? But I don’t go and seek that out. I don’t ask about it right away: if they happen to like hockey that’s great. If they don’t oh wells. Just as a side note, I have dated a guy who has played hockey so I guess that’s checked off the list? But it was never really on any list in the first place? I’m being confusing, I know. 

So let’s get honest for a second here: Do you have a dating bucket list? Something that you are looking for and searching out just to say that you’ve dated that specific thing? Have you ever been part of someone else’s dating bucket list? Lemme know in the comments below!

Just a little update here. It’s been a few hours since I posted and I had a great word thrust upon me in my comments. Bex mentioned the notion of a conquest – and that’s what this sometimes feels like to me when I get told: “oh I’ve always wanted to date a redhead”. Like it’s this rarity and they are happy to have possession of it. Like that one pokemon card that will complete your collection or something. Sometimes it also feels like it’s the main reason I’m on a date with someone just so they can tick off that box on their dating bingo card. So thanks Bex for using the word “conquest” because as soon as I read it I was all YAASSS! That’s exactly what I meant!! I’m glad you can form words for what I’m feeling when I can’t get there haha 

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10 thoughts on “Dating Bucket List

  1. Hell nah! I’ve never been told that and I’m a redhead too!! Granted in my adult years, I’ve only been with 2 guys… but if it counts, both told me (without me asking) that I was the first redhead they’ve dated; not sure that counts.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha! I think it does, even to a small extent. Does it matter that you’re the first red head that they’ve dated? What makes being a redhead worth mentioning? Lol I’m perplexed – but I usually am when it comes to the things guys say haha

      Liked by 1 person

        • Lol we are a rare breed 😊 and the guy I mentioned over the summer did make it seem like a conquest. It made me a little uncomfortable. I’ve had guys be all “ooh that’s cool” over it and the fact that I’m left handed. But it’s the few that make it more than just a cool fact that I was talking about haha

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I frequently get hounded to go out on dates with guys who are much younger than me, I’m 35 and I got asked to go on a date with a guy who was a whole 9 years younger than me. He took me out for lunch, and spent the entire time inspecting me like a rare object with a beaming smile saying “I just love older women……”. I couldn’t help but feel like i was something of a checklist for him but we still keep in touch now and have ended up becoming great friends 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow! I’ve been asked out by younger guys before but lately I always say no. I just can’t seem to be ok with dating anyone younger than I am. I have done it once, with someone just a year younger than me, but I find younger men so immature haha! Although I am always willing to be proved wrong by someone!

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      • I guess I must have been lucky because I’ve met guys younger than me who are more mature than some men my age…. Its strange how it works! Don’t discount it completely, you might be pleasantly surprised 😂

        Liked by 1 person

        • No I don’t totally discount it. I’ve known a few guys younger than me that I think we would have worked out really well. But I do have my online profiles set up that only guys within a specific range can message me.

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