How Can I Help?


I saw this today while doing my morning scroll through Pinterest, and it really caught my eye. It made me remember how many times when 2nd is telling me something at work and she is complaining about it, and I offer some advice or make a comment and she whines at me “I knnnnnnoooooooowwww I was just saying — ” and then she goes on to defend her complaining. Or a friend was having a really rough day on top of having no sleep and I automatically go into the “let me help you solve this” and was offering some suggestions and the response that I got was “I wasn’t looking for suggestions”.

How often do we really ask for what we need in life? How often do we just sit back and let things happen without acknowledging that we know what we need and should ask for it? Or are too scared to ask for it? Or think that we don’t need to ask for it, or don’t really have the right to ask for it? I know I sometimes think that I’m not entitled to ask for what I need in specific circumstances. 

I, for one, am the type of person like the comment up there in the picture. I will rant and vent and usually by the end of talking I’ll have figured it out or gotten through the emotions. Just let me go until I’m done, say you’ve heard me, and then I should be good. Just being able to get it off my chest, is the best way for me to work through it. I’m always open to suggestions or to being told that I’m overreacting (it happens sometimes, and I appreciate being told so if it’s true), but most often I work it out just through the simple act of venting.

Which is why I love my blog. I’ll start a post with a problem and by the time I finish typing it all out, I’ve played through the various issues and have come to a solution that fits me.

Like my post yesterday about that guy – when I started it, I was going to be asking advice at the end on the situation: was I overreacting, being too sensitive, jumping to conclusions, giving up before I even gave us a chance, throwing up walls because I might actually be scared of something serious starting? He was looking for a wife, which was always on my mind because it would be something serious right from the start. But then I realized that if he was going to be so dismissive of my feelings and emotions when we weren’t even dating yet or pushing boundaries that I wasn’t comfortable with and not letting me pull away from those situations, all while being “just friends” what was going to happen if we started an actual relationship? I knew by the time I got to the end of the post I had seen his true character already and that I wasn’t even interested in being friends with him.

I’m definitely a “give me your ear” type of person.

How about you? Are you a “please get involved” or an “offer me some advice” or a “give me your ear” type of person?

16 thoughts on “How Can I Help?

  1. A bit of both I think… That’s why I love going to therapy. My therapist is amazing and so understanding and she always let me finish venting or explaining myself before she chimes in. Usually, I’ve sorted it all out myself by the time I’m done talking! It’s an expensive ear I guess, but she always gives really good advice when I need it. My husband is the “let me fix this for you kind” and we’ve had to discuss about that, but we’re on the same page now! You’re right about writing though… Such a good way to sort through problems of all kind!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing this! I’m typically a listen sort of person with my friends, but often I will give advice to my son. I’m going to start asking him those questions, so I don’t interrupt and get him off track if all he needs is to vent.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Are you trying to set me up?! | No Love for Fatties

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