Saying Goodbye

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Do you ever have those moments in life where you have the choice to say goodbye to someone and it’s a choice that you have to make? Do you agonize over it? Going back and forth wondering if you just hold out just a little bit longer will things get better? 

My uncle and aunt are going through this right now. It’s my dad’s eldest brother – he’s exactly ten years and one day older than my dad. The firstborn and the baby. It’s cute.

What’s not cute is that trauma his family is going through right now.

On Sunday, his second eldest son (he has 4), was rushed to the hospital with a brain bleed. They think it’s an aneurysm. My godfather died of one when I was in teacher’s college. But he was gone before he even reached the hospital. My cousin made it to the hospital. He made it. It was great news. He was breathing on his own a little bit but was in a coma.

But then things got worse. He couldn’t breathe on his own anymore, and he’s still in a coma. That news came on Tuesday. Wednesday an email that my aunt had called saying they were just asking for prayers that he would pass quickly and without pain. Last night, the news that he had fluid building in his brain and they had to put a stint in to relieve it.

I can’t even imagine having to be his parents or his wife right now. His daughter just got engaged, his youngest son is in university. He had a stroke a few years ago but it was minor. He’s a police sergeant too – we’ve always been somewhat prepared for an on the job tragedy, but who ever thinks about something like this?

So now his family has that hard choice to make – how long do you wait and hope for things to come around? How long until you decided that, yes things aren’t changing anymore, but they aren’t getting better? And they aren’t going to get better? How long do you wish or pray (depending on your beliefs) for a miracle? To be the exception to the rules? The one person who beats the odds? To be the person where everything works out?

Maybe today he’ll wake up? Maybe the stint they put in yesterday to release the fluid that had built up in his brain will have done enough to bring his vitals back around and for him to become responsive again?

How on earth do you even make that sort of choice?

20 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye”

  1. I have no idea. It’s bound to be an awful choice, even if there’s a living will and final wishes were explicitly detailed. No parent should ever have to face the loss of their child, no matter how either parent or child are. Prayers to your family. 😔

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  5. I’m so sorry T. I would never want to be in that situation ever, to make that decision. When my mom passed, I was extremely fortunate that the doctors brought her back to me for 20 minutes, where she was lucid and I could talk to her one last time, but I knew her wishes and could not ask them to extend her life. Prayers for you, your cousin, his family…. so very heartbreaking. I will pray for that miracle, even if it lasts only 20 minutes.

    Liked by 1 person

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