Don’t worry, I’m not going to write a post with the cockiness of that gif, but I do want to talk about being natural. And the importance it played in my life this summer.
As a woman, I am constantly being told to buy all the makeups and use all the makeups because I need to look beautiful. As a plus-sized woman, I think that mentality is enhanced even more because “guys don’t want to date ugly women, and they don’t want to date ugly AND fat women”. It’s definitely a struggle.
The people in our lives impact us as well. My mom was raised to be a 1950’s housewife (even though she wasn’t born until 1957, but her eldest sibling was born in 36 so her mom had a lot of experience raising housewives by the time my mom came around). I obviously grew up with that as well because that’s what my mom knew – she would go to the grocery store and put on a full face of makeup. She got a trainer and actually dressed to go to the gym, and again, makeup. While working at Tim Hortons, she saw one of the ladies working there and she wasn’t wearing any makeup. My mom commented that she must really hate herself not to even try a little bit because how was she ever going to get a husband?! Because, apparently, even working at Tim Hortons you need to be all done up. I’ve been told by “friends” and co-workers that if I want a guy to notice me do this or wear that, or “do this juice cleanse to flatten your tummy”, or “Ya know they can tint your eyebrows really easily!”
I think I’ve survived it really well. I didn’t really like myself until my 20’s but now I love myself. My shape, my uniqueness over things like my hair (both colour and lack of it, maybe not so much the facial hair – it’s just annoying), my white eyelashes/eyebrows, my glasses, my freckles. I really and truly love myself. Which took a lot of hard work, don’t get me wrong. It definitely wasn’t easy!
But there’s always been one area where I was never really all that confident – going totally makeup free.
Ever since grade 8, I have always, always, worn makeup in public. It didn’t have to be a full face – but it was always mascara. While I love to say that my eyelashes are white and watch the reactions that people have over that, I also never really enjoyed how I looked with them.
Last year, I wasn’t feeling very well before work, so I didn’t put on any mascara. My kidlets spent the entire day going “seriously, what did you do to your face?” So I started just not wearing mascara. Just a day here or there, randomly.
This summer, I decided I wasn’t going to wear makeup. I was up way too early and my eyes were still in that “gah why are we open” stage when it would be time to put it on. Plus, it took up extra time in my morning routine. So, on the first day of work with the toddler, I didn’t wear it. And the next, and the next.
I’ve got to say, it was really liberating! I loved the fact that I didn’t need to be putting anything on my face (except sunscreen – take care of your health peeps!) every day. I did go back to just mascara for certain things like going to church or visiting friends or the funeral of the kidlet’s grandmother or to go on a date, but nothing more than just mascara.
I’m babysitting the toddler today and then have a BBQ to go to so I’m wearing makeup today, and it honestly feels really weird. My lashes feel heavy and out of place and my eyelids are starting to follow suit.
I’m glad that I was able to jump out of my comfort zone and learn to love the real, fully natural, me this summer! It was a great step to self-growth and self-acceptance.
How are you feeling about yourself today?