Two weeks ago, when I was in Ottawa visiting Le Brother, we had a weird conversation.
My brother made a comment about how every time I bring a friend with me when I visit him, the friendship crumbles shortly after. It’s like if I want to ruin a friendship, I take them to Ottawa first as like one last hurrah before we part ways.
I’ve taken all of 3 friends with me to Ottawa. The first was Sara 3. Our trip was actually really fun. However, like a lot of my friends in high school, she was super negative. She had this chip on her shoulder, and while I made the choice to be around that, it wasn’t who I wanted to be. She used our friendship and eventually I had enough. I actually had to be friends with her longer than I should have because we worked together, but eventually, we finally fell out. It wasn’t the trip to Ottawa that did it, though. We had a great time!
The third was Angela. Again, a total negative Nancy. What is it about people like that? I get sucked in maybe? I’m not sure. Anyway, that trip was less enjoyable. I started to notice around when I was 15 that Angela was not my best friend. We never really were “friends”, just same place/same time conveniences, if ya know what I mean. Angela made the trip almost unbearable. She complained about everything. My brother planned a movie night for us with his friends, she complained that his friends were over invading our “family time”. Yes – she included herself as family (but so did I with her family). She complained about the weather, the walking, the lines, the driving. Everything. Like I said, at 15 I was kind of starting to get over this. But this trip happened when I was 23. And at that point it was just, I don’t even know. I’m not even sure why I asked her to come with me. It was a road trip before I graduated from university so I guess it was something we decided to do? A few months later, I moved to South Korea for the first time and that’s when I made my break from her. Getting sucked back in a few times but now it’s totally over.
The second trip was the best. It was with my friend N. We met while working together, along with Sara 3 who hated N right from the start just because another girl, S, hated N. It was so lame. But N and I hit it off right away! She came to Ottawa, her mom even packed us lunch and snacks for the drive. We had literally the best time with my brother and his housemates. One of them, J, always came out when we did things. He’s considered part of the family now! There were also 2 really weird and creepy roommates that time and having N there was a good buffer. We did all the fun things, and it didn’t affect our friendship one tiny bit. Le Brother was nice enough to let us sleep in his bed while he took the couch for the weekend. It’s a queen size and we had plenty of room. It was the middle of winter so I was wearing a t-shirt to bed, and one morning I woke up to N’s hand literally under the sleeve of my t-shirt holding onto my shoulder. From that point onwards, if we didn’t see each other for more than a few days, one of us would text the other “my shoulder misses your hand” or “my hand misses your shoulder”. It was our thing, and we loved it.
But Le Brother still includes her in the list of friendships that died from going to Ottawa, but in reality, our lives just took us in different paths. She was a few years younger than I was so when I was graduating from university, she was a year out of high school. When I was moving to South Korea, she was moving to the other side of Canada for summer work at a hotel and starting nursing school. We’ve just drifted apart. We still connect from time to time, but it’s not the same as it was before.
I saw a post from her on FB the other day, which prompted this post. So N, where ever you are, my shoulder misses your hand! ❤