Long Distance Love

Let’s talk about this, shall we? 

If you read my last post about my family, you’ll know my parents had a long distance relationship. They lived about a 2-hour drive from each other. Disclosing this got me thinking about long distance relationships. It’s been a little bit of a theme in some of my conversations lately, so I want to hear your thoughts on it.

Obviously, I see my parents and think “oh yeah it totally works”. I have friends who met online playing some sort of game, fell in love and got married. Two friends actually. Both females living in Canada, both males were in the US military. That’s strange but not the point! One couple, still married and happy. The other, it lasted about a year and they got divorced. The one who is happy, he left the military and moved up here, they got married and lived together right away. The other got married while she was visiting him and then she had to come back and they started their visa paperwork for her to move since he was still in the military. She never actually finished the paperwork before they ended things.

Now I’ve had a long-distance relationship, and I’m basically along the “been there, done that, been cheated on, not worth it” type of thinking. Although his reasoning was “we (as in me and him) weren’t having sex anyway so is it really cheating?” Yes. The answer is yes, poop canoe.

My work-fam went to the Carribean for two weeks over Christmas. The main reason was for the wedding of a cousin. That couple had a NINE YEAR long distance relationship. Only seeing each other a few times a year when they could manage the trips back and forth, but they were always emailing and skyping.

My boss mentioned this when I was talking about Mr. Potential. Even though we live about a 15-minute drive away from each other, we would could never even work it out to meet just for coffee. It felt like a long-distance thing with him. My boss offered to let me switch around some work days to make it work, but by that point whatever we had, had fallen apart.

So I personally only have failure in this department, but also I have so many stories of it actually working out.

What are your thoughts? Do you have your own experiences to share?

Just a little clarification: I am not in a long-distance relationship nor am I considering one. This is just for conversation. 

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54 thoughts on “Long Distance Love

  1. No, they won’t work for me either. I e-dated my now husband for six months, but by the end of it, I really needed this thing to move forward and together.
    I had a friend who was in a long distance marriage for years, but ironically, when they finally started living together, they broke up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I actually don’t mind texting and emails and phone calls but I also like just being in the same physical space as the person I’m dating. Even not doing anything. Give me a book and lets sit on the couch together. That simple. I’m glad your story worked out!! 💛 thats super awesome 😍

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  2. I met my Fiance on an online dating website. He lived in Massachusetts and I lived in Maine (about a 2 hour drive). After three months of long distance we moved in with each other. 3 years later we bought a house. another three years, and were due to be married in 5 months!! He is my soul mate, It can def work! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. With my ex, we dated for 5 years, then I moved an hour away for university, then he moved 4 hours away for university. There was 1 whole year that we made it work long distance, and then after I graduated, I moved down to be with him during his last 2 years. Once we were back together, I realized that he had changed (not for the better), and I had basically became an after thought which wasn’t easy to come to terms with, so things ended.

    So in my experience, I was at least able to have a real relationship with him before we started a long distance one, which I think helped a lot, but on the flip side, if you start out in a long distance relationship, then move in together, what’s to say that won’t work out? Being with someone online/over the phone is completely different than being with someone in person, and living with them is a whole other story. If two people really want to be with each other THE SAME AMOUNT, then it will work out, 100%. But even if just one of them is unsure, it’s a lost cause.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh such a sad story! My long distance started out the same. We were dating and then he left for college. There were major issues before he left that I just didn’t know about so it wasn’t the distance that caused the problems just brought them up. Thanks for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My boyfriend and I have had a long distance relationship from about 6-7 Months after we met. He told me straight away that he was going to be working out of state and I still asked for his number. When we began dating there was talk of me doing the writing thing and work on the road with him. It never came to fruition. I don’t ha e much confidence in myself and am scared a lot. Scared to try. He is the opposite. Blah. So we do the long distance thing. I work in the school system so I’m off for summers and most holidays. And he has a few weeks off a year where sometimes he comes down or we go to his dads. Average we probably see each other new year holidays/Easter/then all summer/maybe thanksgiving and/or Christmas. Sigh. It kinda sucks but he wants to travel. I guess I did not fulfill my part of the deal when I said I would try to do a freelance thing. It’s sometimes frustrating for us, more for me than him though. I have a lot of anxiety and it doesn’t help our relationship. I’m not sure how long he plans to do this but I know at times he is tired of traveling. But he has told me I’m his life partner. We just made 4 Years dating in November. We talk most every night unless he’s bitchy and we’ll just text goodnight. We FaceTime a lot and watch movies together sometimes or cook and drink wine together. It’s a struggle sometimes but I’m so happy to see him when he comes pick me up from the airport. It’s a new year, time to love myself more and learn to be okay or try something new.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I loved reading about your perspective on this. Long distance relationships have always been an alien concept to me – I’ve heard of them, seen them, but never actually experienced one myself. They tend to have a really bad reputation and I think all of those “horror stories” have just scared me off them for good. Plus, I don’t think I could handle one but I seriously admire people can make it work. So yeah, the closest I have come to one is probably with long distance friendships (certainly have a lot of those) but that’s sooo different on so many levels it’s probably not even comparable.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was in a LDR with my boyfriend for a year, before that we were online long-distance friends for two years. We met in person in June 2015, I moved the UK in February 2016 to be with him and we got married two weeks ago! ❤️ I think it can work, but like every relationship, it takes work and commitment, and a special effort at communication! Don’t give up… When the right one come your way, making it work won’t feel that much of an effort. xx

    Liked by 3 people

      • I was not implying it was; I just meant to say that when someone right comes along, long distance or not, it doesn’t feel so much like work. 😉 I do hope all is well for you! I have to say, I really enjoy reading about your everyday life. You sounds like such a positive and bubbly person!

        Liked by 1 person

        • That seems to be the consensus: for the right person it works haha. And thank you so much!! I really am the same person in life as I am in this blog (don’t worry, I let others tell me that hehe). I really enjoy reading your blog too. Especially seeing all your beautiful pictures!

          Liked by 1 person

  7. I used to think the idea of a long distance relationship was amazing. The whole idea of “not pooing wear you sleep” type of thing. Ie when you break up there is no awardness. Now I have found that way of thinking leads to an expectation of failure. I have also realised in person I can see my friend one a week and be happy. Soon as it’s long distance I feel I need to text every day for any type of closeness. My online me and in real life me are very different. So when it comes to talking face to face it didn’t work. Also remembering that a lot of communication is non-verbal. Then there is the fact that it’s hard to experience things and bond over such things together. I’m not saying they are impossible because I believe they are. They just are extremely difficult.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. SUCH a hard thing! I really don’t know if I can give my two cents as I have never had a long distance relationship. I think if the idea was that it was temporary, it might be OK. And, when I say temporary, seriously working on getting to the same time zone. I am fully a proponent of intimacy being a huge player in whether relationships will work. You can have intimacy in many ways, but at the end of the day, frustrations arise when you can’t be physical on a regular basis.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Well, you knew I’d have something to say about this I hope!? As you know, I’ve been doing ‘long-distance’ for a year now, plus 3 months of online writing & drawing before that. In some ways, it’s been perfect for us, as we both have jobs and mortgages where we live etc, plus I have a teenage son to get through his last year of school. And it costs a lot, flying up and down, so we only see each other once a month; BUT, we communicate daily, multiple times via text, and usually chat once a day in the evening (often when I’m washing up & tidying the kitchen). Sometimes we talk for an hour, sometimes only 15 minutes; very occasionally we have a ‘Skype’ date & dress up for it : )
    LDRs take effort, and connection, plus a certain commitment, but at some point, I do believe someone has to make the move so you can be more together… sharing physical intimacy, as well as social gatherings with friends and family is a really important part of a ‘real’ relationship… we are currently looking at ‘H’ moving up here in a few months- but shhh- that’s still a secret OK? I think if you’re a jealous or anxious type, a LDR could be too hard; as a fairly independent woman, I’m happy not to live with a partner (been there/done that), so I think it depends on personal circumstances. But Love will find a way! xx G

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hello! I am an 18 year old male student from and living in Ireland and my girlfriend ( for two years now) lives in Spain, we only see each other once every two months or so. I would not change my relationship with her for anything, she is the reason I am happy and we have plans set out for our future together and I cant wait.
    From my experience long distance relationships can work if you commit 100% to them and you truly love the person. That is my experience with them anyway. I will be posting a blog about it soon so if you are interested in the story make sure to follow me!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hello!! I am Italian and living in Italy and my boyfriend is Korean from Seoul. We are currently in a LDR and meet each other two times a year which is sad! What I think is that a relationship based on distance can work if you really know and trust the person you love. I met my boyfriend when I was studying abroad in China so at that time we spent so much time together that I was ready to face the distance for him. We share a blog now so if you are interested come to have a look! (P.s sorry about my English 😦 )

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hi guys, I was in a long-distance relationship for about two years. I live in Switzerland and my (ex)-boyfriend went to England in order to study. I was heart-broken when he decided to leave but understood that he had to so he could follow his dreams. In the end the distance tore us apart and we went our seperate ways after five and a half years of being together. It was too hard keeping up with eachothers lives and after a while it got annoying to force myself to call and text. But even without the long distance relationship we would have ended up seperating because we were growing apart. So cudos to everyone in a long-distance relatinonship, I know what your going through.
    Im still learning what it means to love, and if your interested come check out my blog unhappily ever after. I write about my journey trying to figure out relationships (I know good luck to me). Come check it out if I sparked your interest.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Long-Distance Part 2 | No Love for Fatties

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