It’s day 5 of my 30 Day Writing Challenge that I set for myself, which means that I need to write about “things you want to say to an ex”
This was a hard post for me to decide what to write. It didn’t say what ex I had to write about or to. I was thinking in my head that it would be a letter to them, but that was of my own design. It could just be a list of things I want to say to him or them. Could have been more than one person! It honestly probably could have been an ex-boss or friend or teacher or a blogger who stopped following me. But I kept coming back to the same person. The same person that I’ve been struggling with my emotions with over the last little while. The same person I’ve been alluding to in most of my “emotional” posts lately (she types with disdain for the word emotional).
And then I came to a conclusion. Writing it here, again but in different words, isn’t going to change anything or make anything better. I’ve written it all down before, I’ve gotten it out there and sorted out my feelings. I’ve talked about it here, I’ve texted with those close to me, it’s all been done.
So instead of writing it here, again but in different words, I’ve made the decision to send it to him. Which sucks. Which means it’s going to be a sucky day and I can already feel the sad panda creeping up and settling in for the next little bit. But maybe that’s good. Maybe I just need to be a sad panda over this and move the frick frack on. Maybe one of you wants to do it for me because I can’t seem to do it myself?!
The sad panda can only stay until 4pm tonight anyways so best get it out of the way now. I’m making cookies with my kidlets (hopefully) and some tomorrow too. I can’t be a sad panda around fresh baked cookies.