For three weeks I have been keeping him from you all, check out his introduction here before reading this post. It’s long again, I’m sorry!
As you all read yesterday, the first two weeks had gone really well with Mr Wonderful. He had told me about his ex’s which did leave him with some issues – emotionally that is. They straight up sucked. And I’m surprised he was trusting of women at all after all of that. But he was positive and upbeat. He also told me that because of his brain injury, he didn’t really have too much of a filter while taking – always saying what’s on his mind. Which was a little jarring at first (what do you mean “thats an interesting top”?), but then it was kind of refreshing.
He particularly loved that I was a ginger. Like, I say all the time that I’m adorable and slaying it and all that jazz, but he just boosted my ego even more (like it really needed it!). He told me he had never dated a ginger before, but that when he was younger he always imagined himself marrying a ginger. So that was a lot of pressure right up front…but we joked about it and moved on.
He was Italian, which was awesome. Any time a guy can speak a different language, I love it. And he did really amazing accents. He made me laugh all the time. I was seriously happy.
He kept bringing up this idea that by the third date, he generally knew if he wanted to date someone and start a relationship with them. Since we had always been honest about things, I was all “ya know, I’m not really there yet. I’m enjoying getting to know you and you make me happy, but I’m not sure I can label it just yet.” Which he was totally fine about! Always making sure to ask if I felt like we were going too fast, or did I need us to slow down, or was this ok since I’m religious and he’s not. He just always wanted to make sure I was comfortable. And I really was.
After apple picking, he said he wanted to take me out to a nice dinner on Friday (that would be this past Friday…the 3rd) for our 3rd date. That I deserved a nice sit-down dinner. We talked about it all week during our phone chats, and I was getting super excited about it. But then, just as it had with Mr Potential, as I felt it getting to that “relationship” stage, I started to kind of freak out a little bit. I think that might be a thing for me? But I recognised this in myself and didn’t make any rash decisions that I knew I would regret. I had been seeing long-term with this guy, like really long-term, and I didn’t want my little “moment” to ruin that.
We were talking Thursday afternoon before work on the phone, which was unusual for us. He had just been let go from his job (he knew it was ending but thought after the holidays) and was having a hard day. He said he was depressed and needed my support, and I wanted to be there for him. After about 10 minutes of talking, he said he was back to normal which was great. We were chatting about our plans for the next day and he mentioned again how the 3rd date was always his “probation period” for girls. And I once again reminded him that I was still gauging the situation. He asked if we were going too fast and I said that maybe yes, but not in a bad way. I never felt rushed or pressured and that it was just comfortable for us at this speed, even though it was fast.
But then, at work, all the doubts started. The same as with Mr Potential. He’d never have a full-time job because of his injury, he does kind of blame his injury for a lot of things like he’s hard on himself about it – it affects how fast he can process new information but not how intelligent he is. So that’s fine, but the employment thing was a concern. I don’t need a millionaire but I do need someone who is working. He has some emotional issues from his past girlfriends, tends to dwell on them a lot but we talked about us both not talking about our ex’s anymore. It was good to know going in, but we’re good moving forward. So that was fine. He said he has trust issues and abandonment issues too, but this is why we were so open. He’s not religious but he offered to go to church with me, says I’m the first nice Christian person he’s ever met, definitely believes in a higher power and intelligent design so that’s fine. He possessed all the qualities that I wanted Mr Potential to have, with trying to get to know me and taking an interest in my life. I literally don’t care if he ever gets me a gift but I mentioned something about Unikitty and he didn’t know who that was, and he literally googled it right then. That level of interest is what I look for. Give me your time and I’ll be super happy. Mr Potential never showed that level of interest.
So Thursday night, I stopped after work and talked with my boss. She’s like a mother figure to me so I knew she could offer some good advice. I always tell her children that I don’t just date guys. And that Mr Potential and I aren’t together anymore because I couldn’t see it working. But I could see it with Mr Wonderful. And I tell them I want a marriage like their parents have – one that will last. So I voiced my concerns to the mom. She was very supportive and simply said to pray about it. And I hadn’t been and I knew I needed to. And she also said that things like money and all that will work themselves out “in the wash” and it’s the connection that is important too. And that maybe we were moving a little too fast and to take a small break for some clarity. Mr Potential had offered to get me into the winter fair and she suggested that I take him up on that offer and have a week or so of not seeing Mr Wonderful. I liked this suggestion of a break, just to sort out my own feelings and to focus some energy on seeking guidance through prayer. I wasn’t ending things, I was making sure of my heart in order to move forward. Possibly taking Mr Wonderful up on his offer to slow down a bit.
As I walked home, I felt good about things.
*to be continued later this evening*