Saving the last few updates from my weekend for the very last.
Just to be real for a solid minute: I kind of broke up with him in a horrible way. Like not horrible horrible, but uncool. We had only been dating for 6 weeks and we only communicated via text. Like we talked on the phone a few times, but everything was over text. And that’s ok with me – I’m not a big talker on the phone type of person. So I sent the dreaded breakup text message. I know, I literally heard your collective gasp as you read that. But I haven’t had to break up with someone for like an actual reason (instead of “hey I’m getting on a plane in a week to fly 13,000 km away and your home is actually in Africa so I guess this is over?”) in a loooonnnnngggggg time and I was intimidated. I’ll admit it. So I sent the text before church (cop-out) and turned my phone off like I always do for the service.
Now, knowing that information, judge this update:
At first, he was all cool. His reply was literally “harsh. you could have just bought me ice cream and saved the text message” Apparently, ice cream is the official offering of the break-up? Who knew? And we continued on as we always had. Like literally like we always had. I thought he was adjusting really well. Except I kept getting good night texts – even if we had hardly spoken that day. And every morning I get a text when he wakes up. And I’m over here thinking “dude…come on….relax a little….”
Thursday night, I said good night (since we were actually talking when I was going to bed) and told him to have a good long weekend. And thankfully, I didn’t hear from him after that until Sunday – after I text him “Happy Thanksgiving”.
So I guess maybe I brought it on myself? But I did miss him and talking to him. I also think that feeling of missing was compounded by not connecting with my blog for four days as well. Cutting both off at the same time was a hard thing to do. Although my missing him was quickly squashed out because he refuses to quit with the guilt. Like he’s on par with some Jewish bubbies – and I’ve met a few who lay on the guilt like no one else. They have PhD’s in the subtleness that is required for it. He has studied with them. I’m still a “Disney princess” who has broken his heart.
After the long weekend, I really have no desire to keep texting as much as we have. I’m ready to move on with my life, and he doesn’t seem like he’s there at all. Complaining that he doesn’t get good morning texts – well duh, those are reserved for boyfriends and sick/emotional friends who need the extra support. I’ve literally just stopped replying to stupid messages which used to be part of inside jokes which, after almost two months, are getting so freaking old I want to smash my head into something hard.
But still, he clings. And now I feel like the “bad guy” even more than when I broke up with him. It’s been two weeks now since we broke up – is he just not going to move on? I’m over it, I’m done, and I’m moving on. Does that make me sound like the cold-hearted, ice for blood, soul-less ginger that I am? Probably…
I always know when I’m ready to move on by the “me-date”. The last guy, him, took me a long time. Probably because I was on the receiving end of the breakup. I told him about my hair, he got all “this breaks our trust, I don’t have the energy to do this anymore” and our week-long whirl of happy gushy feelings was just over. Again, I felt responsible, but I learned from it for future men, took my time to get over it and eventually took myself on the “me-date”.
I’ve been planning my aquarium date for like 3 weeks now. Only been broken up for 2, so I guess that kind of shows my headspace when it comes to Mr NolongerhasPotential. I was planning on going even before deciding to break up with him. I’m going to make a quick stop at home for lunch after church and then head out for an afternoon with the fishies!
Happy Saturday peeps!
Ps: don’t forget to check out the newest Paint Chip Poetry cards for this weekend!