Being a little more rational

Last week I was annoyed with not having any motivation to write anything so I decided to be all girly and gush on here about Mr Potential. Don’t worry that’s not happening today. You can put the barf buckets away. 

If you feel like taking a trip down memory lane, feel free to read that post here. I feel like that post was out of character for me. Not in the general sense that I don’t normally gush about random things (show me a picture of a baby hippo smiling on a fence and I’ll write you a 500-word post which is basically just “OMG HOW CUTE” over and over with a little bit of “I literally just can’t even!”), being all gushy and mushy over a guy is strange for me. Or at least to that extent.

This gushy-mushy-girly-over the top-ness lasted exactly until Sunday morning. Saturday was the one-month mark since our first date, and we hung out after I was done work. He wanted to try this ice cream shop down on the Danforth. I went there in the summer with my work family and the ice cream is amazing and the prices are even better. Since Toronto is in the middle of a disgusting fall heat wave, I asked my boss what it was called on Friday – she replied and said it is only open in the summer. But Google said it was open! So I sent him a text and asked if he had time for ice cream. He had “something to take care of” so could we go Saturday. Sure no problem. I’m flexible.

Saturday he suggested the exact same place! I hadn’t mentioned the name of the place before but told him what my boss said and what Google said. We decided to check it out just to make sure (because of course, we didn’t actually call the store to find out…) and it was in fact closed. But Mr Potential is the rational one out of the two of us and he suggested we go down to the grocery store a block away and just get some ice cream. We did. And it was kind of fun! We found a place to sit outside and eat. And then we wandered around the little mall there, and in some shops across the street on the way back to the bus station to get me home before I (and I quote) “turn into a pumpkin.” He knows I like to go to church on Sundays so he doesn’t like to keep me out too late.

But then Sunday happened. I don’t know what it was between Saturday night and Sunday morning but it’s like KABAM – everything is blah in my mind. All I’m doing is focusing on the negatives and the flaws and now the butterflies are gone….but then sometimes there are just the smallest briefest moments of the old butterflies and gushy-mushy me.

It is so weird. This has literally never happened to me before. Like sure I haven’t been in an actual relationship in *mumbles a number which is wow* but that’s mostly because I was moving all the time and I can’t just date someone while I live in a city for 8 months and then break up when I move. But this feeling is so out of left field for me and it’s leaving me quite perplexed….

27 thoughts on “Being a little more rational

  1. The thing is… even if he’s the right guy for you, the butterflies don’t last forever. Maybe every relationship I’ve ever had has been screwed up… but I know the butterfly mushy feeling you speak of and it doesn’t last. It doesn’t mean the relationship is over… it’s just not ‘new’ anymore. That’s not to say that you’ll never feel that way with the guy again… but I personally think it’s normal for those feelings to fade. Wow, this comment sounds really sad. Sorry.

    Also, ignore everything I said if this is all because you’re just not into him anymore.

    I have no advice on getting the negative thoughts to shut up. I can’t do it. I’m so bad at it that I never have positive thoughts…!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Butterflies fade–don’t try so hard to feel the butterflies. Just enjoy your time having a friend in a potentially romantic capacity. It could bloom into something more, or it couldn’t. You (me, everyone) gotta make sure you’re okay no matter where it goes.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am sort of glad when those bastard butterflies go away. I couldn’t eat much near my husband when we first started dating. My tummy was too full of butterflies! Things were sooo much more fun and relaxed once I got over that a bit and could eat normally again!

    Plus points eh!?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh that is a good point! I kind of liked mine. The smiles over text messages and excitement about seeing him. Now all thats gone..probably because I’m trying to figure the feels out so a text message just reminds me of the change and the struggle to figure out the feels

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Relax. Butterflies can be ‘anxiety’ and/or ‘excitement’. They’re partly produced by adrenalin, because we’re in a new situation, doing new stuff, so our ‘survival system’ is on alert, in case of danger (we can thank our caveperson ancestors for this). As you get to know him more, and just ‘hang out’, your nervous system relaxes, which is a GOOD sign! It’s also helpful to notice our ‘self-sabotage’ habits, or the negative bias which makes us critical rather than positive sometimes.

    Don’t overthink. Focus on the positives. Be grateful for your empowered freedoms, and his kind attention. Enjoy each moment, for it will never come again.

    And you could always offer to do his nails hahahaha xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

    • But I liked the butterflies 😞 lol I don’t know if its self sabotage but I do think my feelings have changed. I don’t like to make decisions without seeing people in person so I’m not making any decisions until I see him in person again.


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