Problematic Roommates – Part 2

Let’s jump forward  2.5 years to teacher’s college. 

If you want to check out my horrible roommate story from my first undergrad, click here and catch up. But today I want to talk about my experience in teacher’s college.

After my first undergrad, I went to live in South Korea for a year. Then, I was home for almost a year before starting teacher’s college. I knew that I would need to get a place closer to school in order to make my life easier. I lived an hour and a half away from the university and there was no way I was making that trek every day.

Fortunately for me, a girl that I grew up with (church, public school on and off) said her mom rents out their basement to people. It was in my price range, and all inclusive. Bonus: living with people I already knew. They had 2 long haired cats, so I knew I’d have a few sniffles but not too much. I went to check out the basement and it was surprisingly bright and spacious and we agreed I would move in.

I moved in two weeks before school started since the 10 days before school I would be on my very first solo holiday in Scotland. I wanted, and needed, to get settled before I left. They were totally accommodating, and even said not to worry about buying my own food for that week I was there. When I returned from holiday, there would be a shelf in the fridge cleaned out for me, and some cupboard space as well. That first week went ok.

But then, it all seemed to explode when I returned from Scotland. I didn’t have any space in the fridge for at least two weeks after I returned, the cupboard was cleaned out though. One night I literally just had to pull my friend away from her video games and have her help me rearrange the fridge so I could have just the smallest amount of space. Then her mom was angry because we didn’t hear the text messages she was sending from outside the house because she “couldn’t open the door” with take-out food in her hands.

Their stuff literally filled every inch of the inside of the fridge – every. single. inch. The shelves were PACKED from bottom to top. They would go to Costco and get things on the cheap (great idea!) but then they would pick up take-out at least 4 nights a week so the food almost always went bad.

Both mother and daughter were bigger women. The daughter was trying to lose weight (and doing really well! Starting at around 300lbs and dropping to 250 in about 5 months) but the way they ate didn’t allow for healthy choices.

The other thing that affected me the most would be the dishes. In their kitchen, there was a double basin sink. When I moved in at the end of August, both sides were full and I was told “don’t worry, it’s never like this. It’s just been a busy week.” By October both sides were still always full. I had to ask them if it was possible to keep one side empty just so I could wash my own dishes every day. I’m glad I used my own dishes, but we shared utensils and stuff. When I went home for March Break (in teacher’s college you don’t get a regular spring break/reading week, you take March Break with the elementary kids), there was literally not a single clean fork in the whole house. I fished one out of their side of the sink to eat that morning and then washed it and put it in the dish rack to dry. When I returned, still not a single clean fork in the whole house!

When they did do dishes, their method of washing was this:

  1. Plug sink and fill with hot soapy water
  2. walk away until the water is cold
  3. turn on the tap to have running luke-warmish water, pick up a dish, rinse off the soap, place in the drying rack.

When my friend had someone stay for the weekend, I was introduced to her. She seemed nice. They went to a wedding and when I woke up the next morning, my white face cloth, which I used on my own face, was covered in this new girl’s make-up. I know she was “the best man” for the wedding but could you not put your 10 pounds of make-up on something that I use to wash my own face? I go up to the kitchen, this girl is already awake, using my cream for her coffee and eating my cereal for breakfast (which she also used my flavoured coffee cream for). Like I have one shelf in the fridge and you decide to just take food off of it? GAH

Things that didn’t affect me but still bothered me:

  1. My friend was in school but had mental health issues (that’s not the problem). Her counsellor told her to take a decreased course load to reduce stress (not the problem). Her dad had to pay tuition but only if she was taking a full course load (at least 4 classes). She would register for 6 classes instead of 4 or 5 and then fail at least 2-3 but it didn’t matter since her dad was paying for it (THAT’S THE PROBLEM!)
  2. she would get extensions on papers because of mental health issues (not the problem). Papers would be due in March/early April. In August she was still in the planning stages of these papers (issue!!!) and kept getting more and more extensions.
  3. instead of going to school, she would just spend all day at home playing video games when she would take a day off to catch up on readings and assignments, which put her further behind and then cause her more stress and thus the cycle continues.
  4. I would come up from my room in the early morning to get ready for school/placement, her mom would be laying on the couch in the dark with a washcloth over her face saying she had a migraine (not a problem, I’ll be extra quiet), I would return home around lunch after my classes were done for the day, both ladies would be up and showered and dressed and be going out for lunch and an early movie together. No mention of work for the mom, classes for the girl, or the migraine.

I’m not sure if I really had any right to be annoyed by these actions, and I honestly can’t say that I’ve ever had a mental health issue that would keep me from school or work so maybe that was just my friend’s way of dealing with it? But for two grown women, it made me really wonder how they made it so far in life without completely falling apart. It basically ruined my friendship with the girl because I saw how she lived and how many excuses she made in her life for everything.

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8 thoughts on “Problematic Roommates – Part 2

  1. That’s the same dish washing routine my one and only previous roommate had and it annoyed the crap out of me! Her excuse: Sponges gross me out. THEN GET A BRILLOW PAD OR A SPONGE WITH A HANDLE!! The worse part with her was when she left a casserole dish of half eaten mac’n cheese in the sink for a week and a half while I was on vacation. I came back to a putrid smell, bugs and mold. I ended up washing it becuase, WHO LIVES LIKE THAT!?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t know what her mental health issue is but I do know that terrible adhd and terrible anxiety related to perfectionism can present as utter laziness. Its very hard for these individuals to make anything happen sometime. Except that’s where coping tools and cognitive training come in …I know its easy to get rutted into being a do nothing… I don’t have a ton of sympathy because I know people who overcome. I am a person with less than stellar mental health and every night I stop everything at 8 so that I just HAVE to do the dishes. No excuses. And I tend to stay up way too late if I am not holding myself accountable. I get weird and wired and then I am the batty anxious person on no sleep. And so I have an alarm set to make myself go to bed. Because I won’t think about it otherwise. There’s mental health and then there is using it as a crutch, an excuse.

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