Does how you treat wait staff reflect on your personality?
I used to be a waitress. My very first “real” job (not babysitting or organizing papers for my dad’s home business) was a waitress. I was 15 and it was in this little dive of a place, but it had some of the best customers! I should write a post about that (makes a note on phone). I was there for about 6-9 months and I can’t remember a time when a customer was rude to me. I did have a table leave before I took their order, but that’s neither here nor there.
I’ve also worked at Tim Hortons and some days I could not believe how rude people were to me. Like, excuse me, I have to ask if you want a donut with your coffee, calm down.

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But what about those people who are rude to their wait staff? Is this a deal breaker for your relationship with them?
I bring this up because it happened to me right before I left for vacation, and now I can’t really look at my friend the same way.
I was out shopping with one of the ladies that I live with (she’s in her early 40’s). It was around lunch time, and I decided that before we headed home on the bus, I wanted to grab a sub from Subway for lunch. She came in and decided to buy one as well. I let her go before me since I never know what I’m going to get (yet always end up buying the same thing) and I was so shocked to see how she treated the man serving her.
She was rude and demanding. She never said please or thank-you. She complained that there weren’t enough tomatoes on her sub, so he put on more. Then when he closed the sub to cut it, literally one slice of tomato fell off. She complained that he was letting her toppings fall out. It landed on the sanitized counter and a little on the wax paper they use to build the sub, so he just tucked it back in. Now, in my opinion, this is totally fine. But she complained that he was putting dirty food on her sub.
I found myself keeping at least one step back from her while in the line. The man in front of her was extremely rude as well. I honestly could not believe she was being that way.
And now, I am forever judging her. Is this just a side effect of being in a service position before? Or would you be upset about this too? I kind of feel a little silly holding onto this fact but in the back of my mind, I will always have the image of her acting a fool in Subway over a piece of tomato.
Sounds a little ridiculous to me. I hate when people are rude like that; it drives me bonkers. It’s one thing if the service is bad (and I mean, at the wait staff’s own fault, not because they’re busy or there’s something out of their control in the kitchen), but it sounds like that’s just how she felt she could treat that worker. I always try to be kind and understanding of what it’s like to work in that environment, but that may be my experience as a banquet waitress that helped shape my views, too.
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Yeah I totally agree! If the waiter is rude and stuff I understand, but even then my Canadianism kicks in and I’m still polite to the rude person. It was very ridiculous and I can’t believe she did it. Ugh.
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I would be incredibly uncomfortable to see a friend or coworker act like that. If it was someone in my family or a close friend (although I doubt they would be that mean) I would call them out on it.
It’s hard when it is a coworker…but someone that is that rude would lose my respect.
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I’m glad that I’m not over reacting to this. She is kind of a co-worker and kind of a housemate? I’m a nanny and she’s a PSW for the grandmother for the family, so we interact and she has a room provided in the same house that I’m staying in. It’s weird, and now my opinion of her is tainted.
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Was she having a bad day? I wonder if she is always like that!
It’s one of those things that you can’t un-notice!
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No we were having a great time out doing some shopping!
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Oooo. That’s rough. If it were someone I knew on a personal level, then I would definitely say something, but a co-worker/housemate… maybe if it happens again, you could say something. Just state it that it makes you uncomfortable or something as to not trash their character.
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Ahh yes good advice!
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I’ve never worked in a role like that but I still think your friend was unnecessarily rude. I would be uncomfortable and I’d want to act like we weren’t together!
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Yeah I was trying to act like we werent together. Today I heard a few more rude things shes been doing….seems like she keeps getting pushed more and more into the “wow thats rude” category
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I try to be as understanding as I can in restaurants. Because I worked as a waitress for many years
Sorry you had to see that. Depending on how well you know her, you could’ve given her the stink eye. I’d’ve probably told her something. People are people, even if their job is to slice your tomato on your sub. Everyone has a purpose.
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I often have the reverse problem. Waiters are not so friendly with me. But this is India and the concept of polite service is unknown!
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Oh no!! Thats horrible!! Do they work for tips in India? Here waiters get paid a low wage because they also get tips. So the nicer they are, the bigger tip they get. So it always shocks me when a waiter is super rude here
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Tipping is optional here. It is usually included in the bill as service charge!
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Ooo wow. Ok!
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Ugh, I would have been cringing the entire time! My experience working in restaurants has made me overly understanding and accommodating towards waiters, hosts, servers, etc. I still remember the times that customers were rude or inappropriate towards me and would be so disappointed if someone I knew was making similar memories for someone else. Boo hiss.
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Ok, so I’m so glad I wasn’t over reacting. I’ve recently learned a few more things about this lady and I just can’t interact with her the same way anymore. Like it’s so broken. Which sucks because we live under the same roof haha.
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As if the housemate dynamic isn’t tough enough! Ugh, I’m sorry!
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Ahh it’s ok! 🙂 The venting helped!! lol
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That was a little uncalled for. I mean, he was doing his job. Meanwhile she was being rude and stingy oh and impolite. Can’t stand that.
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1000% agreed!
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Yeah, no worries it definitely wasn’t just you who thought that way. It was rude how they were.
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That’s awful! I would definitely shy away from anyone who’s rude to waitstaff or anyone else. Even waiters who are actually rude and don’t do a thing right, you can always take the upperground and be nice!
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Yeah exactly! Even my boss seems to be getting a little annoyed at some things she is doing.
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Best way to find out a persons character is to bring them to a restaurant to be served to see how they treat staff. Nice post!
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Hey thanks for stopping by and commenting! And after this incident with my friend, I think I will be doing the “waiter test” with more people haha
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It’s sad how some people think they are above others and can treat people badly. There is just no reason for it.
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Yes exactly!!
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I personally believe that how someone treats a person who is serving them is a reflection of their personality and I certainly do not want to associate with someone who is just outright rude for no reason however!! and there has to be a however, sometimes people are just having a shit day and want to take it out on anyone so I always give people a ONE time chance. Just in case it was their horrible terrible no good very bad day!!
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Yes I totally agree about the way a person treats a waiter is how they are in general. She wasn’t having a bad day up tp that point so I can count that out haha.
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Thank you for sharing your story. It’s reminiscent of a similar situation happening to me. I was quite stunned and very disappointed that an old friend of mine, would act in such a manner. But, at least I don’t live with her, work with her or have to see her, in any way.
I hadn’t seen this friend in many years. We connected again through Facebook. Anyhow, we decided to get together for lunch. We went to Swiss Chalet and it didn’t take more than a few minutes for the horrid behaviour, from this friend to begin.
It started almost as soon as our ‘wait staff’ arrived at our table. She was just trying to take our order. She made an error writing down our order but corrected right away but not without an attitude from the former friend I was with.
Every time the waitress asked us anything relating to our order, the bad attitude coming toward her was making her nervous which caused her to make mistakes which provided more opportunity for this friend to ‘act out’.
I have always tried to treat people with kindness & respect but I was especially friendly with the woman waiting on us, in an attempt to soften some of the attitude coming from ‘said’ friend.
The waitress had much more ‘class’ than this friend of mine as she didn’t ‘mirror’ the attitude coming at her, but kept her composure and remained friendly.
In hindsight, I kind of wish I had dumped this friends glass of water, over her head 😉
This friend was in a great mood with me, laughing, joking around but with our waitress, she was miserable. It made me see her in a whole new light and I had / have no interest in ever seeing her again.
I believe you can judge a person by the company they keep, and I choose NOT to keep her company, as I do not want people to think that I condone or participate in that sort of behaviour.
Unfortunately, even though I’ve known this friend for many years, I only manage to see her now as I last saw her, that day at lunch.
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It is so hard to get past something like that isn’t it?! I feel so bad for that waiter just from reading your story. Thanks for sharing! This person no longer lives or works with me and I am glad to be rid of her. From that day forward her attitude only got worse in my mind and her behaviour as well. It’s refreshing not to have to put on a front now every day.
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