There is a tiny silver lining in this post.

And that silver lining is (drum roll please!): International Guys.

So over the last week, I have joined a two more sites. One purely out of curiosity. I had never heard of it before, but it was solely for Christians so I thought I’d give it a chance. It’s a paid site, so I thought I’d take their free trial period and see where that led me.

Well, it led me nowhere.

Over the 10 days, I saw only one profile that I was interested in. I messaged, no message back. I did, however, see the profile of a guy I grew up with at my old church. And like “grew up with” means, I’ve known him since I was 2, he’s the oldest of 3, his youngest brother is 6 months younger than me, I call his parents tante/uncle (German church remember?), I knew his grandparents. Like we know each other.

It’s actually kind of funny, a few years ago when I was doing online dating while living in a small town, I didn’t have my picture up on my profile. I was matched with him but his profile picture was him in his fireman’s uniform (yeah, he’s a fireman) and I didn’t recognise him. So I clicked and then saw his other pictures and was like “ooooo noooooo”. Don’t get me wrong, if it was the exact same person, just not in the body of someone that I’ve known my entire life, then I would have sent a message. So then he saw that I had viewed his profile and sent the sweetest message trying to connect. Then I just had to reply back and be all “uumm….so hey, it’s me. This is awkward. How are things? Say hi to your parents” type deal and yeah….talk about AWKWARD!

So anyways, he was one of my matches on this Christian site. No, I didn’t click to view his profile. I’m actually surprised he is still single, to be honest. He’s a total catch!

The thing I didn’t like about this Christian site was that they would match me with people on the other side of the world. Like sure, I get it, you’re a great guy, but you live in New Guinea and I live in Canada – don’t you see the problem here? And there was no way that I could figure out to limit my matches to my geographical region. I even wrote in my profile that I was looking for people in my area. The next day, a guy from British Columbia messaged me. *sigh*

Speaking of international messages, this is my silver lining. Yesterday I was checking on one of my profiles and I had 2 new messages. One from this beautiful man. But he was 24 and lived in Brazil. And his message was pretty much this: Wow you are so beautiful, I just had to message you. It is so sad we will never be together since I am on the other side of the world in Brazil. How sad my life will be without ever knowing you.

Um yeah – ok! The other was from an equally gorgeous man in Mexico. This time I had to reply and say that I was looking for someone closer to home.

I’ve been on these dating sites for about a month now. Well, on one for about a month and the other two just this last week. Last night I actually almost met someone! He was older but sweet – didn’t come with all the doubts and intensity of the other older guy. Until we exchanged numbers – and then he turned into a little bit of a creep. I had suggested that we meet for a coffee after work last night. He lives super close to me so I picked a place in the middle. He suggested I just go over to his place for some cuddles instead. I was like “um no, coffee first” and made sure to be VERY clear about how I don’t have sexual relationships. He said that was cool and then continued with the “let’s give each other massages and cuddles tonight” so I went to the coffee shop after work, grabbed a drink, and promptly left. I haven’t heard from him since so I’m guessing he’s not entirely upset that I didn’t stay. I’m about 90% sure he didn’t even go.

I had been talking to a few other guys as well. But no one who gave me that connection that I’m looking for. Like, I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I shouldn’t have to struggle to think of things to say to a person I literally just met. There is SO much to talk about. I should want to be talking to that person all the time. I need that connection. So this morning I did something drastic: I sent messages and texts to the few guys I had been talking to, and then promptly deleted every. single. account. Not just deactivated them. Deleted.

I need a break. I’ve only been at this a month and I’m exhausted! So I’ll take a little time off, focus on my work right now (it’s been confirmed that 3rd has pneumonia! And soccer season started last night for all the girls) and my move at the end of the month. Then, maybe, I’ll be ready to start this again.

This would be so much easier if Chris Evans or Tom Hiddleston would just realise that we’re perfect for each other and come and sweep my off my feet!


12 thoughts on “ODS Part VI

  1. Ugh. I can’t fathom dating in this day and age. I mean, technically I’ve never really dated (my wife and I have been together since high school), but dating in this current world of awkward isolation just seems like a frustrating task. I have friends in your position and it just seems awful.

    I agree with the other posters. Go after fireman guy. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol yes it is so frustrating! But how adorable to be high school sweethearts! Congratulations!! Unfortunately, fireman guy isn’t an option. I have considered it (seriously too! Not just the grade 9 crush I had on his in youth group but then EVERY GIRL had the same one) but its not an option haha.


  2. I understand your frustration. Sometimes it takes a minute to step back and get to the point that all this fake stuff on dating sites doesn’t matter and ignore/block those that get on your nerves. Pneumonia? Poor baby.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah. I am super surprised at how a few of the guys I was talking to took the news that I was taking a break. Thankfully only 1 who took it badly had my number. But I think he’s over making me feel guilty about it haha.

      And yes! The poor kid! But yesterday he was so hyper he was bouncing off the walls! He is getting better quickly lol

      Liked by 1 person

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