Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
So yeah, I reactivated my online dating profile Monday evening. And while the “success” stories are cute and nice and uplifting, I really think it’s the failures that are more interesting.
Those who have done this online dating thing before will know the ones I’m talking about – those who you just think “Why did you send me a message? Did you even read my profile?!”
I’m pretty open and honest on my profile. I made a few changes to it when I reactivated it, changed up the pictures a little bit. It definitely reads like me. The best thing about the site I’m on is that you also have to answer questions about yourself and then it matches you with people with similar interests. It gives you a percentage of how well you match and how much you don’t. This is a very good indicator – generally.
So yesterday, was the first full day that I had it up and running again. I find it exhausting to go through matches and profiles, but I also think that if I want something to come from this I need to be active in my search as well. So I spent a little time on the site.
I got a few messages from a few different guys. Usually the generic “hey”. Guys: why do you do that? Can you really not think of any other words to say? I made like a thousand sassy little jokes and comments on my profile, just mention one thing to show you’ve actually read it. Or say more than just “hey”. And if you are really too shy to say anything else, please have at least something written on your profile so I can get a sense of who you are! Just like with blogging – if you’re “about me” page is the one that comes as a default, I probably am not going to be subscribing…
This one guy sent a pretty decent message. It was very informative and stuff and he sounded nice. I checked out his profile, and it seemed all good until I get to his “data” section – which has like height, body type, wants kids, religion, etc.
So on my profile, it says that I’m a Christian and it’s important to me – because obviously. And in my questions, it says that I’m more of a dog person because I’m allergic to short-haired cats.
I’m reading over this guy’s profile and guess what – atheist AND has a short-haired cat.
I try not to judge people on their religious beliefs or their spirituality, and I say in my profile that a guy doesn’t have to be religious just respect that I am. I’ve had very successful relationships in the past with guys who don’t really follow any religion or are more “spiritual” (whatever that means haha). But never atheists. I guess that’s a bias that I take into all of this.
I message the guy since I was impressed by this first message to me and say that I don’t think we’d match well but wished him the best. He asks why. So I write back asking how he would feel with me being so religious and also I’m allergic to cats (I’m not going to make him get rid of his beautiful cat. I’m not heartless).
He persists so we spend a little bit of time talking. I’m not feeling it, and then he mentions about his friend who is staying with him who is allergic to cats but isn’t really bothered by the one he owns. Which is great for his friend! But short-haired cats affect me so badly I can’t breathe. I say this again to him and then it was “ok sorry for bothering you.”
Like dude, I literally told you this almost an hour ago.
I understand that some people want to find their person – but I think you also have to be open to what the other person is saying. He was a nice enough guy, basically checked all the right boxes, but why try to pursue something that is basically going to uproot a major part of your life?
Sometimes I just don’t get it!