Self(ie) Awareness

Have you ever had anyone tell you that you were too confident in who you are?

This happens to me all the time – not so much in malicious ways, but it’s there and ya know what? I don’t understand it.

When I was younger, I was shy and reserved and stayed away from the spotlight. If someone gave me a compliment, I would shyly accept it, turn bright red, kind of lower my head and twist my hands together. Ya’ll know the way it goes.

But as I’m getting older, most of that is going away. Sure I will still blush because I can’t control that, and some days I think that I don’t look like anything super special, but I totally accept the compliments now.

Mostly, because I have worked on myself enough to love who I am. Sure I would change some things if I could (gah like my hair let me tell you!) but I really do love the person I have grown into being.

I think the realisation came to me when I was in my early 20’s. I had just broken up with the hottest guy I had ever dated. He made me feel so insecure because I was constantly all “why is he with me?” but then he actually turned out to be the biggest jerk. Looks fade, the outside fades, and what’s left is inside. So I’ve taken a lot of time and energy cultivating that person on the inside, and she rocks my socks most days.

This past week, I’ve had a major ego boost though for the outside of me. Through daily texts, conversations, and selfie sharing, I had an uplift of spirit. My old manager would probably tell you I didn’t need it, and ya know I probably didn’t, but it’s still nice to be reminded that some people see you as beautiful.

I didn’t even share a lot of the selfies on social media, basically my Instagram because I’m avoiding Facebook a lot these days, but even just looking at the pictures myself boosted my mood. I didn’t need to send them to anyone to look at them and see how great I looked. I used to hate how I looked in pictures and now, even though the greatness of last week is over, I still took a picture of what I’m wearing today. ps: I look super adorbs in a dark mustard yellow

If you’re ever feeling a little low, decide on a few days and just take a picture of what you’re wearing. Don’t cheat! It’s so much fun! I didn’t even put any filters on my pictures and I still loved them. Even one with no makeup, not even mascara, white eyelashes and all! Loved it!

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23 thoughts on “Self(ie) Awareness

  1. That is a wonderful gift. To be able to look at yourself and be Hey I’m good. Screw anyone who tries to tell you not to post selfies. It’s a left over from a time when felt women should be hidden. That is what “modesty” is all about. Hiding women.
    I’ve never achieved that feeling of I’m good when I look at pics of me. Even on days when I felt I looked pretty good, I always felt like I was pretending to the world. They didn’t see what I really looked like. There’s always a “yeah, but” in my head.
    I saw a meme the other day that I wish I’d saved. It said something like – I stopped worrying and just started feeling like I had a right to exist like I am. That is my goal now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh for sure! I still get those “yeah…but…look at this” in my pictures but I can also see the good in them. It took a long time to get there and even now my mum doesn’t understand it or my friends joke that I’m full of myself, but I can see the good there and I’m going to embrace it. I can’t live feeling horrible about myself. I can’t have that negativity around. I ho

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  2. I literally busted out laughing when I read this question…
    “Have you ever had anyone tell you that you were too confident in who you are?”

    I have zero confidence. Okay, except for knowing I’m smart and creatively talented. But other than that… ZERO. I sometimes think I look amazing in the mirror… but a selfie NEVER looks remotely the same. I cannot figure out why. I haven’t photographed well for years… like, since I was a kid. Maybe a teenager. I realize I’ve aged and I’m not the same exact size I was as a teen, but I’m still me… and I’m SO un-photogenic it’s crazy.

    A week or so after Christmas this past year, my mom sent me a picture of me and my sisters (except the bitch who doesn’t speak to us). She sent it because she thought it was a beautiful picture of us. “Look how great you look!” she said. I thought I looked AWFUL. In fact, I was sobbing. I think other things contributed to my overemotional state, but still. I did not think it was a good picture. I’m not even especially fond of my (professional) wedding pictures. I think I look better now, 17.5 years later! (yes, I got married when I was 12. LOL)

    I think I have maybe 3 selfies since the history of smartphones that I’m not horrified by. And I’ll ever understand how I can look good in the mirror, take a picture, and look terrible in the picture. Apparently I need to be 3d? I have no idea because video is not better than still photos… So… if I feel like crap and I take a selfie, I’m going to feel worse… trust me!

    Oh, and… yes, the inside is more important than the outside, but being told I’m beautiful (or any other such compliment) makes my day every time. Makes my week, usually. In fact, I still think about times I’ve heard that when I feel gross. It doesn’t happen often enough… because my husband never says those words even if he thinks them.

    This is a looong comment. Sorry! 🙂

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  3. I think people feel insecure themselves and then feel threatened by anyone who likes themselves. The majority of the people on the planet don’t want to see other people happy, because what is the fun in that when they aren’t as happy?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really admire how you can see yourself like that. I’ve always had problems with self-image, even when I was a little girl. I thought I was over it as of recently. My boyfriend has helped me in amazing ways, and makes sure he tells me everyday I’m beautiful. But, since I’m in college, I had to leave him to come back home last Friday, and since then, my confidence has fallen to a depth even below hell. My mom even told me yesterday, “We need to get you situated. Losing 30 lbs will get you back to the way you should be.” Everyone gains weight in college and I was alright with the way I was, but it’s like I can’t win. Hah, my life’s a mess.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A turning point for me definitely was having the attention of a good man. It made me realise my own self worth and how much i need to value myself. I think that its important to realise that weight doesnt define you. And it doesn’t change the typw of person you are.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Regular yellow looks terrible on me! But this is like a dark mustard/golden rodish yellow? I’ve got to say I was totally feeling myself today lol. This is why my mum rolls her eyes at me HAHA i tell her when I look good lol

      Liked by 1 person

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