I’ve been going through some major changes lately.
First of all, on Sunday I changed my cell phone number. It was weird calling him long distance when we are in the same city (yes, that’s right! The girl who hates talking on the phone will voluntarily call him and want to talk for hours). And it will be easier for my kids to get a hold of me if I have a Toronto number. So this morning I had the goal of trying to get my number changed in all the places that it needed to be changed, and I hope I got all of them. At least the important places have been changed….I hope…..
But on a more deeper level, my feelings about certain things in life have changed. Ever since I was told for sure that I don’t have PCOS, it’s been like my brain has shifted in how it runs. Before, the hair situation was “ooo it’s because of PCOS”, but now it’s a little bit harder to explain. I kind of liked it being a symptom of PCOS because then at least there was a reason. Now the reason is I just have some DNA issues. Stupid DNA.
Secondly, and hold onto your hats for this one, maybe make sure you are sitting down and don’t have any liquid in your mouths. I can wait if you need a second……We good? Okies, here it is:
I kind of want children now.
I know – I heard that collective gasp all the way from my living room. And I’m not exactly sure what happened. Like I still think that those first 5 years of life are the worst and I’d never want to be responsible for a living thing during that time, but I also kind of want it to happen ya know?
The first night after I got the news from my doctor that I didn’t have PCOS, I had this dream that I was having a baby, and ever since then, it’s just been in the back of my mind that it’s something that I want.
The desire to have my own children (instead of adopting maybe) has just been getting bigger and bigger. And even more so since I started talking to him. Like not that I’m saying he changed my mind, but he’s so family oriented that if I ended up with him, or someone like him, I would definitely want to have children just because I know that’s important to them.
Maybe all those people who annoyed me with their “oo once you find the right guy you’ll change your mind” statements were actually right?! But my mind was definitely changing before I met this guy (again, not saying he’s the guy, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here).
Is this topic too deep for not even 10 am? I feel like I’m spiralling into some philosophical pit here ya’ll. Someone come and pull me out of it!