Stupid Cupid

I must be a sucker for punishment…

Have you ever had a feeling like you JUST. HAD. TO. DO. SOMETHING.

Like really? An idea pops into your head and it sticks there burning away at you until you finally give in a few days later, exhausted from trying to keep it at bay?

Well, that’s what happened to me this week. Somehow, this idea that I had to join online dating got into my head. It’s been there all fudge muffin week (ps: I have started using fudge muffin a lot now…now sure why…another thing that has just invaded my brain). So, since yesterday was Friday, and my day off, I set up a profile. I did it. And I was all excited about it and now I’m kind of a ball of nerves.

It’s so exciting putting yourself out there, but also terrifying. I’ve done online dating before, but I have never actually met anyone in person. The last time was years ago when I was living with my parents in Huron County. But back then I didn’t put up any pictures. So I would connect with a guy, we’d get to the place where we were thinking of meeting up and I’d send a picture and poof – he was a ghost (ironically where I learned the term ghosting).

But this time is different. I’ve put up about 5 different pictures of myself, and I’ve used a different site. This one has you answer questions and rate how important they are to your life and then matches you with other people. It’s free for the most part which is what I like. Another friend joined two of those paying sites a few years ago because she thinks that if the guy is serious enough they will pay for a membership and thus so should she.

So here I am – delving into this world of online dating again. It’s been almost 24 hours and my profile has had over 50 views (for my profile picture I used my birthday selfie that all you Giggling Followers saw a few weeks ago, cos, let’s face it, I looked adorable in it haha!). But I feel like this is my first time going into online dating.

I found this one guy who was matched pretty high with me, I liked his profile and then a few hours later had to go back and message him. Couldn’t get him off my mind. In that time, our match percentage only grew since I answered some more questions. But I had no idea what to say! NONE. So my message was super lame and gah I so regret it! He viewed my profile last night and no reply.

Then there was another guy who viewed my profile at least 5 times. When you are on the site, it shows you pop-ups every time someone views your profile, so that’s how I know. I went to university with him, so right off the bat it was like “eeehhhhh” and then I read his profile, and we are matched at 97% but there was just no interest on my part. But what do you do with that? Ignore him? I couldn’t. I knew how hard it was to send a message since I spent almost the whole day fretting over the message I sent. So I replied and tried to be nice. But whatever I wrote sounded mean. Anyways, he took it well. I think it just boiled down to the fact that I don’t find him even the tiniest bit cute. Which is sad I know – but there has to be some sort of attraction right? Otherwise, we would have been really well suited I think.

I do ignore the messages which are basically no more than Joey from Friends saying “how you doin’?” and their profiles have no information on them.

But then we get to the difficult part – I find that my hair situations are my downfall. I can be cute and bubbly and caring and whatever, but when do I bring that bombshell up?

I was talking to BFF-R about it and she said that it wouldn’t matter to the right man. She’s the best at giving advice ya’ll. She always makes me calm down and feel better. I was going to keep her as the only one who knew but I can’t keep this from you. So you and her, and that’s it!

So….yeah….now I’m off to work and I’ll just let this sit here all day….

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42 thoughts on “Stupid Cupid

  1. I don’t have any experience online dating but I think you have probably just summed up the emotional rollercoaster that I have heard it is. Basically you’re normal and quite frankly are a lot braver than I am about the whole inline dating thing! so go you!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Seriously I have been following you for probably a year and a half and must have missed any other references. I would find it hard to deal with. I think most of my personal vanity is embedded (rooted if you like puns) in my hair. I am sorry you’re dealing with it, but I think it also is a bit of a litmus test. Any dude who thinks that matters- doesn’t measure up! The amount guys fart, give up on nice clothes and live in sweatpants and free shirts from the gym, and generally have less work to look good, feel good and get paid by the world means you are the prettiest thing in their world. Hair or no hair or ‘hair where?’ is this something that makes you uncomfortable with yourself? Do you use it as a bit of a reason why you haven’t been pursuing relationships before?

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL! I don’t talk about it too much. I do have a few posts dedicated to Doris, my wig, but other than that it’s just little bits here and there. I’m not sure if I’ve been using it as a reason before now. Before the end of March I thought it was the result of PCOS which I wrote about, so that kind of made it better in my mind. I could explain it away. But now it’s not. I think the loosing it from my head is less of an issue than growing it on my face. I hate that, and I’m more self-conscious of that than of my wig. I think the main reason I haven’t been openly pursuing relationships before hasn’t been a lack of self-esteem over my body or my hair but over a lack of stability. I’ve constantly been moving every year or so for almost the last decade. It’s hard to be open to putting down roots when you have that next move always in the back of your head.
          And thank you for following me for so long! It means a lot to have people stick with it 🙂 Any way I can follow you back?

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  2. Also- I would still go for coffee with someone that is a 95% match. Because who doesn’t want new friends? Be open to people just enriching your life otherwise it could start feeling like shopping for people. My friends developed some guardrails to help a first meet – it should always be coffee. Why? Because if its awkward or he plus out his phone or gives you the freeeaks… Coffee can be 20 minutes . if its not awkward, its magic, coffee can be hours. Coffee can turn into lunch and supper. It also means you can show up early and pay for your own drink so that there’s some equality and also you don’t have to deal with the awkward “are we stag or is this a date and he pays or do i need to be an assertive feminist and pay for him”… It keeps a lot of things at bay a bit because you shouldn’t have to deal with stuff until you know you like this person enough to worry about it.

    Also, back to the friend thing. I am often not physically attracted to someone until I know their personality. I have my ‘types’ from a physique perspective but I can find examples in my history where I never would have thought I was attracted to the person, outside my zone completely…. And then wham… Now that I know them i would be hard pressed to think of what I wouldn’t do to them in a broom closet. Just my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I like it too! I’m much more confident online than I am in person or over the phone. The thing is, now it’s all “hey we just chatted for 30 mins here’s my phone number” and then I sit in my room panicking because I hate using the phone SO MUCH lol….or you get the one who, after one day, you do want to talk to on the phone and in that first conversation he’s named all 3 of your future children, has planned on you moving in with him, and he said he’d marry you IF you got pregnant and then for the next 2 weeks he won’t take “I don’t think we’re right for each other” for an answer….

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL oh lord! My husband and I talked for several months before meeting. I was 19 and he was 25 when we first started talking, so that seemed like too much of an age gap to meet up at the time.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Fun post, welcome to online dating! Everyone’s doing it. You can find tips online about it everywhere, to help you out. I’m 50, & I love it 😊
    I did blog last year about my top tips, I’ll find the link, hang on…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for the advice! It’s only been 3 days so far but I am definitely learning a lot. I’ve done online dating before, but not on this site and never with the intention of actually finding someone real. So now it’s like a whole new adventure.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Welcome to online dating! It’s a fun world, and you’ll learn a lot : ) I’m 50, and have been doing it for about 7 years here in Australia, I love it. I’ve been blogging about my latest adventures, and wrote these tips in Feb which you may find helpful (you can also find heaps of other ones all over the web):
    https://boneandsilver.com/2017/02/20/cardinal-rule-broken/
    I look forward to watching your adventures unfold… Cheers G

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yay! Good luck. I ignored those men that made no mention of anything on their profiles and sent the basic hi emails. Why? Ugh! I understand. I would say that you bring up the hair situation when you feel comfortable talking and discussing it. I wouldn’t stress about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah – I’ve had a few who state they are only looking for causual sex or literally have nothing on their profiles and I just ignore them. I still feel bad about it but I do haha. And I think I’ve come up with a solution to the hair – just send them here haha. Its all detailed in my about me post so that might work.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think online dating is fine and why shouldn’t we try all angles to find someone in our life. I’ve been doing it for 7 years now and just started my own blog about it as I have so much to share.. good or bad I think online dating is a tool that works for some . One tip I can share..be open minded 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by and sharing! I think online dating is a good thing to use, especially for me. I don’t really have the life that gets me out and seeing other people a “natural” way. And yes – open minded is definitely the key!

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  7. Hi!
    Let me just start with the fact that I LOVE your humor. Fudge Muffin. LOL! Stealing that. If you don’t mind. Anyways, Online dating is absolutely frightening. You never know who’s on the other end…and you never know exactly what their looking for. And when you get those boring cliché messages “wasup cutie” or…in your case “how you doin'” it really doesn’t bring our hopes up. I don’t know about you, but I want to chat with someone who seems intelligent. They don’t have to sound like Einstein, but I’d like it if they just APPEAR smart…rather than you know, stupid. LOL. That’s online dating for ya though. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha well thanks!! And yes you are more than welcome to steal fudge muffin. You are right about online dating! I lasted about a month and then deleted all my profiles. I needed a break!

      Like

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