**Updated at the bottom**
Sometimes I feel like a visiting dignitary in my own home. Dinners are arranged, coffee times, meetings – all for me to spend time with their friends. And if I don’t spend time with all of them, making my appearances, then I have failed at my job. People will be offended, and my parent’s will say that I am being rude.
Today I have been home for a full week and so far I have avoided all of this “let’s force T to mingle with our friends and make her sit through meals being uncomfortable”. But I think I have devised a way to get most of it all out of the way.
It’s Sunday – which means it’s church day in our house. I want to get back into going to church but not out here. While this small town of less than 1,500 people has at least 5 different churches all on the main road, there is nothing that really suits me. My parent’s church is nice and I used to enjoy going there but then, in true “small town” fashion it got a little weird. They are all very supportive, and I really liked that about the church. But if one more person tells me I need a man in my life or prays that this year I find my future partner, I’m going to snap. They also have gone into this habit of singing the same song every few weeks, the song is nice, but it means that you need to leave your pew, everyone forms a circle and holds hands. It’s weird for me and not what I really want in my worship time. I want to be free to worship how I feel comfortable. If that means standing, then I will stand, if that means sitting quietly, then I will sit quietly.
But everyone at the church wants to see me. I don’t blame them, I’m pretty rad. So I have come up with a way to get as many people as possible with the least amount of discomfort and awkwardness for me.
Friday my uncle was over, so that saved me from an hour drive to a restaurant (one of my favourite places!) with an elderly couple and my family and then an hour drive back, all going under the speed limit on back country roads (no one ever drives the speed limit on back country roads let alone UNDER the speed limit). But that meeting is inevitable. Hopefully today will fulfill that requirement.
I skipped out on church, since that is a little bit too much for me (think seeing all your aunts and uncles and great aunts and uncles at the same time all asking you the same questions over and over while your mom interjects her own disappointed opinions about your life over your shoulder). BUT my parents go to lunch every Sunday at this amazing little place. It’s the classic small town popular dive with delicious food. Possibly not up to the health code but it’s delicious nonetheless. So I will go to lunch. The main people who go to the lunch will be the main ones that my parents insist that I see. Except the Pastor…I might be forced into a one on one with the Pastor. So awkward.
Then tonight, there is dinner at the home of other members from the church. They are a sweet old couple, and a friend of mine actually live in their B&B for a summer while working out here. While I do enjoy this couple’s company, the whole purpose for this dinner is for me. Which makes me very uncomfortable.
Part of me feels like this really nice. They all want to see me and talk to me. But another part of me really hates it. All the questions and attention from people who are at least 30 years older than me who aren’t really my friends. (My mom once chastised me for saying “my parent’s friends want to have dinner with us” because they would be really hurt if I didn’t consider them my friends). Like no offence but having dinner with an 80 year old man who just had a heart attack is not my idea of a fun time.
Hopefully I can get all of this over with in one day. I can understand the required family get togethers but my parent’s friends are not part of that group and are not afforded the same consideration……
So lunch was good. We got to the restaurant late and had to split our group into two booths. Booth 1: Me, Mom, Dad and two ladies, Booth 2: 4 others. Our booth had a great lunch! Good conversation, great times, not awkward at all.
Then lunch ended. And the 80 year old man had to wait until I left the booth to say hi. Which is fine! I am good with “hi”. But then he wanted a hug…and then the hug had a back pat at the end of it. Now if anyone my age would have done that it’s fine but I don’t know ya’ll it is weird coming from him. And he said that we’d have to get together soon so he could hear stories, and I’m like “ooo I don’t have any stories”. But my dad said we could still get together… it’s just weird with this couple because the husband is always just way too enthusiastic, it’s borderline creeps.
I feel like my best laid plans for today have been foiled! But dinner was amazing! There was another invitee so it made it 6 instead of 5. Good conversation all around! Although I found out some things about my parents I hadn’t known before. Making bad life choices as younger people haha!
Best line of the night “I asked my 2 year old granddaughter what she thinks love is, she answered love is hugs and kisses and sometimes poop” LOL that kid has life all figured out.