The wife and Mr. Infatuation

When looking over my file of notes on my phone from the week at home, I tried to organize them into a somewhat chronological way. Monday and Tuesday were spent mostly at the dentist so obviously that post came first. Wednesday morning I had a breakfast date set with my wife and Mr. Infatuation. 

Yes you read that right! I have a wife – the standard non-romantic “work wife”. We met at Tim Hortons and immediately I was intimidated by her. Tall, beautiful, tattooed, kind of retro vibe. She reminds me of Rosie the riveter:

provided via google

She is Mr. Infatuations best friend so I was also instantly jealous of her. I’ll have to write a post about her later this one is just for Wednesday happenings from 8am-11am! As for Mr. Infatuation, if you are new or need a refresher, there are some past posts here and here for you to check out.

When I knew I was coming home, I messaged the wife and requested some time together – coffee, dinner, whatever she had time for. She is working at a retirement home and I would work around her schedule since sometimes she is on nights. We settled on a lunch/dinner date for sushi and I suggested that we invite Mr. Infatuation along with us. Since she talks to him all the time (being BFF’s and all) and he never replies to any of my facebook messages (again, read the posts above).

We talked the week before and she said he “would love to see” me but he was working nights so she would tell him to book it off. Not wanting him to miss work for like an hour with me, I told her not to and then she decided to switch our date to breakfast instead then he could come.

I don’t hear a word from Mr. Infatuation the whole week before I come home so I just assume that he’s not coming. If he was working from 6pm-6am I really didn’t expect him to show up. I got ready and walked down to the place the wife and I always have breakfast and pick a nice two seat table. She arrives and asks “Oh is Mr. Infatuation not coming?” “um I don’t know? Is he?” “yeah he was just going home to shower!” and just like in the movies her phone rings! He was sitting outside in his car not wanting to go into the restaurant alone! lol I was SHOCKED! Not only did he show up, he actually went home, showered, and then left his house again for breakfast! (the wife says he’s been really good about keeping commitments lately and actually doing things! Of course he’s single again which makes it easier)

We had a great breakfast together! They said they had actually been planning on coming to visit me in Korea (even though both hate flying) but since my contract is going to be done in a few months they don’t have the time to save up for it. The wife knows that I have Doris and commented on how nice it looks. Mr. Infatuation also commented on how nice my hair looked but I’m not sure if he knows that it’s Doris or not. People apparently can’t really tell and he hadn’t seen me in about 9 months so I’m not sure. I do call him Magoo since he is completely oblivious to certain things.

We did settle on a few things: that he never uses Facebook but that I needed to get Instagram. He posts pictures of his beautiful self there and other things and says that I “had to get it” so that I could see “pictures like this” showing me a picture of him snuggling his puppy. So later that day, when I was bored at home I got Instagram and he almost instantly added me back, so that’s a start! So now I have instagram…..and I’m not exactly sure what to really do with it, so I basically just use it to send messages to the wife haha.

Breakfast ended and I was heading out with the wife to keep her company while she had some work done on her car. We all walked out together and Mr. Infatuation left to get some sleep. Before he walked away though he actually gave me a hug – not one of those awkward half squeeze hugs, but like a real, “both arms around, nice tight squeeze, linger for a few seconds tells me he really missed me” hugs. Apparently for him its felt like 3 years since I left….

The rest of the morning was spent with the wife. She has started kayaking with her mom so she was getting a roof rack put on her car. She had about an hour to kill so we went to the dollar store to buy gifts for my monkeys and then got a coffee, catching up on some things. I told her about the Russian and she told me about finishing school and how things were with her boyfriend of 2 years.

While driving in her car, I found out that she still smokes. After I left she became a vegetarian and then eventually a vegan. I had hoped that she had stopped smoking as well, and apparently she did for a month or two. But then stress popped back up and she started again. The funniest thing was watching her light a cigarette in her car – with a bbq lighter. Like this:

I’m fake married to a very classy lady 😉

Before leaving for Canada I had to make a decision – was I going to make an effort to acknowledge Mr. Infatuation’s birthday or not? It’s in two weeks and after that rare spur of messages back in April I had decided to send a card. But then two months of no contact and that was pushed to the side. After the interaction that we had on Wednesday though, I broke down and this morning I mailed a card for him. Although I did have to remind the wife – she always forgets his birthday. And I will probably send her a message a few days before too. He forgets his birthday too! We had to check his driver’s license once to see exactly what day it was! That was when I realized he was FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME. My heart broke a little on that day…

Now that their trip to visit me has been squashed, the wife wants to go on a vacation with me. She said Europe and I got all excited because I have a few trips I’ve been thinking of for when I return. I suggested a few but then she disclosed she really just wants to go to the UK. England, Ireland and Scotland. Using the same company I used before, I suggested a few different tours, even though I was really looking forward to getting into mainland Europe (Spain, Italy etc.) But as long as I’m going somewhere I haven’t gone before I am happy! And I would love to see Ireland and England. I’ve only been to Scotland. We have committed to saving for it and will discuss options in more detail when I am back in Canada. Obviously I can’t book anything until I know where I will be working and stuff.


10 thoughts on “The wife and Mr. Infatuation

  1. How can I get a wife? But I want a stay at home one to do all the cooking and cleaning. Like my husband, I just want to “show up”. 2nd comment: you guys should vacation in Vegas or Miami. That would be fun!!!


    • Well to get a wife you need to fall in love and get married lol…but to get a work wife you just need to find someone you click with who is like your best friend but instead of becoming work best friends, call yourselves work wives 🙂 but the work wife wouldn’t do the cooking and cleaning for you, sorry!!

      I think we are pretty set on Europe lol. Well, she only wants to travel to the UK and I want to explore every single European country. She goes to Florida every year with her family though! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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