Dating the military

There is a trend in South Korea, for Korean women to date foreigners. There are a few different reasons for this. First, for male English teachers, there is a larger selection of Korean women to choose from than foreign women. In my old school, there were 3 male teachers and only me as an English speaking teacher.Β 

The second is that Asian women find foreign men attractive. But let’s be honest here, most women find foreign men attractive – I know I do πŸ˜‰

Third, which may not be very common, but I have personally known two women who have done this: date a foreigner in hopes that they will get a free ticket out of the country.

As a foreigner living here, I have a few friends who are dating American military men. One is very focused on setting me up with one of her boyfriend’s friends – as she says “I need to get you some chocolate”.

Now we all know I have no problem with a man of colour in my life! I would be very happy with that. And I honestly have no problem with that man being an American. My problem is with him being a military man.

I have so much respect for the military and what they do. For the sacrifice that they voluntarily offer. But I can’t date one. I don’t like to get into why when I’m having a face to face conversation since it usually ends in tears on my side, but since my computer doesn’t judge me when I have mascara streaking down my cheeks:

I don’t date military men because of a friend of mine. A family friend. I’ve mentioned him in passing here and there around my blog. He used to work with my mom before he joined the Canadian military. He went to Afghanistan on a 7 month deployment, and two weeks later he was killed. He wasn’t even doing anything dangerous – he was delivering supplies. His convoy hit an IED.

I know I couldn’t go through that again, and have the grief magnified by a close personal relationship.

Today is the 6th anniversary of his death, so Larry, where ever you are, I hope that you’re in peace.


12 thoughts on “Dating the military

  1. I’m sorry to read about the death of your friend. It is never easy to lose a friend or loved one. Life over there must be emotional. Id be homesick as hell. Here’s to you finding a special friend in Korea. Of the opposite sex.


    • Thank’s Gretchen – you are so sweet! Days like today are super emotional…and sometimes I do get homesick. I think more so this time around than last time. I’m actually in the process of trying to get back home as soon as my contract ends, so I try to stay away from making romantic connections since I know I’m just leaving in 6 months (WOOO only 6 months!!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am currently dating someone in the military and I’ve created a blog to share my experiences. I honestly didn’t think I would date someone in the military either, but please read some of my posts, the experience has definitely changed my life. I completely understand your reasoning, and I’m sorry for your loss. Just remember that life is never promised. We can lose our loved ones any time.. no matter what their job title is. My blog is ! Good luck with whoever you do end up with cause you honestly never know who your heart will fall for πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

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