Fattie Body Happiness

Today at work was rough ya’ll. It’s Thursday so it was my “slow” day. I arrive at 1:30 and classes start at 2:30, lasting for 45 minutes each, plus a 5 minute break. I have a free first class so I don’t start teaching until 3:20. Today, at 3:25 I still had no students in my class (I usually have two but was only expecting 1). No one showed up so from 1:30-5 I had literally nothing to do except drag my butt down the three flights of stairs to Starbucks and then sit in my classroom nursing an iced coffee. I taught from 5-45 and from 7-750 and that was it. How did I fill my time? Buzzfeed and Pinterest obviously

I think this is “body positive” week for Buzzfeed because a lot of the new posts up all have the same logo at the bottom for body positiveness. I can across a headline that really caught my attention: I Promise You Don’t Have to Loose Weight To Be Happy.

The female who wrote it is basically me in another body. She says she’s been fat her “whole ding-dang life” doesn’t that sound like something I would say?!) and describes herself as:

Obvious fat. You’ve-got-such-a-pretty-face fat. Internet-trolls-making-digs-at-the-double-chins-on-my-upper-arms fat. I am, in the parlance of the fat acceptance community, known as an “in-betweenie” or a “smallfat” — I fluctuate between a size 16 and a size 18. So I’m basically an average American woman.

I usually fluctuate from 16-22 depending on the brand/style or if it’s regular-size or plus-sized clothes. Although I’m not sure I would ever call myself a “smallfat”. From her picture, she definitely carries it much better than I do (on a separate note, today I looked AH-DORABLE ya’ll. New vibrant maxi skirt for the win!)

She also notes, that while she is basically an average woman, being fat is hard.

We are stigmatized, abused, told we’re worthless and undesirable, stereotyped as lazy and stupid and unhygienic, given inadequate medical care, and not extended basic human decency. Despite the best efforts of bullies both physical and virtual, almost every TV show and movie ever made, and most women’s magazines, I am totally at peace with being fat.

PREACH! I am also at peace with being fat. Anyone who knows me knows that I am and accepts that (except my mother of course). Like any normal person, I have my days where I’m not totally in love with the body that I am so clearly rocking, but hey no one is perfect (this is where some people would claim that I’m vain….)

As I’ve said many times on this blog, and she said in her article, getting to that “totally at peace” place is hard work. So I’m just going to straight up plagiarize her ideas. (Is it plagiarizing if I’m saying I’m doing it and that they belong to her, and I’ve provided a link?)

Her steps to being at peace:

  1. She threw out her scale (personally the last time I saw my weight was when I arrived in Korea. I have no idea what I weigh right now)
  2. Asked her doc’s not to tell her her weight (Props to her for doing this! I actually kind of like to know. Not to beat myself up but just to know)
  3. She surrounded herself with awesome people who don’t make her feel bad (Amen! I have dropped a lot of friends who make me feel bad about my life/life choices)
  4. She has many orgasms (a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!)
  5. She never has sex with anyone who makes her feel like it’s a compromise to be with her (Now I don’t have personal experience in this category {virgin} but I understand this. Loving a boy who can’t love you cos you’re fat but otherwise thinks you’re a great amazing human being? Been there, done that, kinda happening right now)
  6. She doesn’t participate in “Performative Salad Olympics”
  7. She exercises (I love my pilates class! I’m so happy I’ve found it, and I feel amazing after it!)
  8. Sometimes she doesn’t exercise (Sometimes I just want to sit on the couch)
  9. She doesn’t count calories (Who has time for that?!) 
  10. She did research on health and how the body works
  11. She tries to think kind thoughts about her body (Everyday I tell myself I’m beautiful or I think I’m slaying it)
  12. She tries not to compare her body to other people (I learned this one from my mom. She compares herself to everyone and I learned early on in life I wouldn’t be able to have a healthy mind set if I did that)
  13. She found a community
  14. She reminds herself that it’s a process

Like seriously ya’ll I love this article! I was once asked by a friend why I wasn’t depressed in life being the way that I am. I was 15 when this happened and so shocked. She honestly could not comprehend why I didn’t hate myself. You can read about that here.

I am so happy that Buzzfeed ran this article because it’s something that I can totally get behind! HECK YES love yourself! I just want to leave you with her final words (just in case you’re not actually going to check her article out, but seriously GO READ IT!) *emphasis added by me*

Society hates fat people and wants us all to starve ourselves down to thinness in order to be treated as if we have any worth at all, no matter how much we hurt ourselves in the process (just look at shows like The Biggest Loser, or the front of any magazine). So, yes, sometimes resisting those beliefs is so much harder than other days. Some days I will not quite be able to fight the good fight. But that’s OK — the process is an ongoing one, and it may last my entire life. It’s not so much a straight line as a wild squiggle of back-and-forth and up-and-down.

But it’s OK. I’m OK. You’re OK. We are all ridiculous, incredible, beautiful balls of human emotion cloaked in a body that was given to us by genes and circumstance. Life is too short not to believe wholeheartedly that you are just as incredible, beautiful, and worthwhile as everybody else.


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