A lot of my friends are getting married lately, and besides making me feel a little behind the curve, it also reminds me that I’m taking the time to find the right person, if that person even exists. I’m kind of like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, where “I am convinced only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony”.
I think every little girl has dreamed about her wedding her whole life. I’ve planned a few out in my years – I’ve had different styles of dresses, different colour schemes, locations. All I needed was the groom.
I have learned a lot from watching the majority of my friends get married. The first thing is, maybe know the person more than 6 months before getting engaged? I know this isn’t always the case, but out of all the couples I know that were engaged within the first 6 months of knowing each other (not dating, but like actually knowing each other) only 1 has survived the 5 years of marriage mark. And possibly don’t get married just because you’re pregnant.
The second: weddings are expensive. Holy crap on a cracker they are freaking expensive. I’m sorry, but who in their right mind wants to have a wedding that totals more than my university debt for 7 years of school?! For one day!? Um yeah no thanks, I’ll pass!!
3rd: Brides expect a lot from their bridal parties. Now I’ve never actually been in a wedding, but the stories I hear are a little bit cray cray. I understand expecting your bride’s maids to do things like plan the shower and the bachelorette party, probably buy their own dresses. But one girl had her bridal party booking her hair and nail appointments. Another expecting her bridal party (both the maids and the men) to purchase prizes for their stag and doe out of their own pocket with no return on that money. One friend actually quit a wedding because of the bride.
Speaking of Stag and Does – what’s up with them? I kind of feel out of place going to them just because it feels so much like a money grab, which basically is what they are. I find it a little weird to have them, even though they are so popular now.
Engagement photos? Spending a full month of weekends making your bridal party and anyone you can recruit into folding origami petals for center pieces? The plethora of people standing up during the ceremony to do “readings” or to sing for you? Inviting every single person you’ve ever met and half of your parent’s friends? 15 brides maids and 15 groomsmen? (I’m not even exaggerating) Ya’ll are crazy.
I started out my young life thinking that I wanted the princess wedding – big ball gown, in a church full of flowers with this huge elegant party after. You know, like a movie wedding. Decadent and luxurious – but that was my style back then.
After growing into my own person and having my own ideas, I have reassessed that notion and honestly would probably be totally fine with just a quick service at a city hall. But I know that if I did that, the mother would flip the biggest flip she’s ever flipped. And that’s saying a lot. I have taken cues from all my friend’s weddings (ranging from $300 to $25,000) and have come up with what I would consider to be perfect. It’s also basically an exact copy of a wedding I went to and totally fell in love with how simple and lovely it was.
It was in a hotel, they had maybe 50 guests. There was a pretty arch at the front of this one banquet room, covered in flowers. She had two girls stand up with her, him his two brothers. The ceremony was short and beautiful, with a little bit of snacks after in that room while the couple talked with friends and family and took a few pictures with bubbles in the room.
The couple then departed for about an hour to have photos done.We stayed in the hotel and had drinks while we waited for them to come back. Once they were back, we went into a small dinning room. There was about 10 tables (mostly for family and one of friends) and we had dinner, the newly wedding couple gave a small thank you speech, had a tower of cupcakes instead of a cake and that was basically it. No speeches from every member of the bridal party, no crazy drinking (although her dad did pick up the bar tab until a certain time and then you had to buy your own drinks), there wasn’t even a dance floor. Just some music playing in the background while we ate and chatted after.
It was so relaxed and beautiful and that’s what I think I’d want if I ever had to plan a wedding. Although I’d probably still want the big princess gown hehe!
So how about you?
If you’re married: what kind of wedding did you have? Any regrets on it?
If you’re not married: what kind of wedding do you want? All out luxury? Or simple?
Any horror stories from being in a bridal party?