A lot of my friends are getting married lately, and besides making me feel a little behind the curve, it also reminds me that I’m taking the time to find the right person, if that person even exists. I’m kind of like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, where “I am convinced only the deepest love will induce me into matrimony”.Β 

I think every little girl has dreamed about her wedding her whole life. I’ve planned a few out in my years – I’ve had different styles of dresses, different colour schemes, locations. All I needed was the groom.

I have learned a lot from watching the majority of my friends get married. The first thing is, maybe know the person more than 6 months before getting engaged? I know this isn’t always the case, but out of all the couples I know that were engaged within the first 6 months of knowing each other (not dating, but like actually knowing each other) only 1 has survived the 5 years of marriage mark. And possibly don’t get married just because you’re pregnant.

The second: weddings are expensive. Holy crap on a cracker they are freaking expensive. I’m sorry, but who in their right mind wants to have a wedding that totals more than my university debt for 7 years of school?! For one day!? Um yeah no thanks, I’ll pass!!

3rd: Brides expect a lot from their bridal parties. Now I’ve never actually been in a wedding, but the stories I hear are a little bit cray cray. I understand expecting your bride’s maids to do things like plan the shower and the bachelorette party, probably buy their own dresses. But one girl had her bridal party booking her hair and nail appointments. Another expecting her bridal party (both the maids and the men) to purchase prizes for their stag and doe out of their own pocket with no return on that money. One friend actually quit a wedding because of the bride.

Speaking of Stag and Does – what’s up with them? I kind of feel out of place going to them just because it feels so much like a money grab, which basically is what they are. I find it a little weird to have them, even though they are so popular now.

Engagement photos? Spending a full month of weekends making your bridal party and anyone you can recruit into folding origami petals for center pieces? The plethora of people standing up during the ceremony to do “readings” or to sing for you? Inviting every single person you’ve ever met and half of your parent’s friends? 15 brides maids and 15 groomsmen? (I’m not even exaggerating) Ya’ll are crazy.

I started out my young life thinking that I wanted the princess wedding – big ball gown, in a church full of flowers with this huge elegant party after. You know, like a movie wedding. Decadent and luxurious – but that was my style back then.

After growing into my own person and having my own ideas, I have reassessed that notion and honestly would probably be totally fine with just a quick service at a city hall. But I know that if I did that, the mother would flip the biggest flip she’s ever flipped. And that’s saying a lot. I have taken cues from all my friend’s weddings (ranging from $300 to $25,000) and have come up with what I would consider to be perfect. It’s also basically an exact copy of a wedding I went to and totally fell in love with how simple and lovely it was.

It was in a hotel, they had maybe 50 guests. There was a pretty arch at the front of this one banquet room, covered in flowers. She had two girls stand up with her, him his two brothers. The ceremony was short and beautiful, with a little bit of snacks after in that room while the couple talked with friends and family and took a few pictures with bubbles in the room.

The couple then departed for about an hour to have photos done.We stayed in the hotel and had drinks while we waited for them to come back. Once they were back, we went into a small dinning room. There was about 10 tables (mostly for family and one of friends) and we had dinner, the newly wedding couple gave a small thank you speech, had a tower of cupcakes instead of a cake and that was basically it. No speeches from every member of the bridal party, no crazy drinking (although her dad did pick up the bar tab until a certain time and then you had to buy your own drinks), there wasn’t even a dance floor. Just some music playing in the background while we ate and chatted after.

It was so relaxed and beautiful and that’s what I think I’d want if I ever had to plan a wedding. Although I’d probably still want the big princess gown hehe!

So how about you?

If you’re married: what kind of wedding did you have? Any regrets on it?

If you’re not married: what kind of wedding do you want? All out luxury? Or simple?

Any horror stories from being in a bridal party?


20 thoughts on “Weddings

  1. My wedding was a lot like the simple one you described, except we had the ceremony in a church and after it was a restaurant, not a hotel. Small wedding… I don’t think more than 50 people. We had a DJ who was super cool… and he dyed his hair pink for the occasion. He was the best! I had a lovely dress (under $400) and a tiara. No big poofy dress and no veil. And no ridiculous amount of money spent.

    What I would do differently? I’d fly to Vegas and get married by Elvis.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oooo a vegas wedding!! hehe your wedding sounds so lovely! One friend did the church wedding, then her family went out for dinner just them, and we all met up at a night club later. We just had to pay cover to get in, and when the DJ arrived for the night, the first song he played was for the couple and they had a “first dance” so sweet

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was maid of honor in my sister’s wedding. It was hectic, but I love her and she wasn’t a bridezilla or anything. They did have a Steampunk themed wedding which was certainly interesting. I don’t know what I’d want for myself, I think a simple small wedding, but at the same time I have a huge family and it would be hard for me to not invite them all. Luckily, I’m still a few years away from those decisions!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the hard part: wanting a small wedding but also having a big family! My parents are both 1 of 6, plus spouses and children, but most of my cousins are my parent’s age (they were both the babies of the family) so my 2nd cousins are my age – so that’s a lot of people haha

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What we wanted from our wedding was to have everyone there that we loved and cared about – it was big, but not overly expensive, one of my best friends is a florist and did my flowers, Jeff’s brother took the photos and everyone else pitched in with decorations.

    My traditional wedding cake, hahahahahaha, had a pig and a helicopter on the top πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I stupidly got married at 19 and divorced at 21. I then got married to husband #2 in (wait, let me check the date inscribed in my ring) 2002 then to husband #….I’m joking, there is no husband #3. Anyway, first what is a stag and doe? That sounds like characters in Bambi. My experience was a massive, lets invite the dentist to the wedding first time. The 2nd wedding was in my husbands aunt’s home in the living room. That one was a thousand times better because we actually got to enjoy each other. Things weren’t uptight. There wasn’t dieting before the wedding and ballroom dancing lessons and blah, blah, blah. To me, these expensive weddings are such cookie cutter affairs and just thrown to impress people and not for the real reason. I’m not looking for an Amish wedding where they put on their Sunday best and all are fed out of 5 croc pots, just some reasoning here. You know?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I totally understand! A stag and doe is like a party where you raise money for your wedding. you have to buy a ticket, and then there are door prizes and other things. One that I went to, they passed around two huge empty pickle jars, one with “bride” and one with “groom” on them. And the one jar that had the most money in it at the end got to throw a pie in the other’s face. Your second wedding sounds like my kind of wedding! Being able to enjoy each other is such a great sentiment!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well , Indians wedding is huge. A week affair and a year of prep , shopping , food and hours of rituals and dance. Parents save for children wedding all the time. Wedding are fun , but I notice its more fun for family and friends then the bride and groom themselves.
    But I had one small , tiny winy wedding, and 10 days later another moderate one ..both times to the same person :D. We both belong to different religion , so the first one was at my home – invited only family , food , Govt Registrar , We signed our marriage certificate, completed hours of ritual in 30 minutes , food , wishes and done. We both looked lovely in our white-off white attire. All expenses borne by me. Pics taken by bro-in-law.

    Second one was at his house , about 10 days later.. a Muslim wedding , 5 days of applying “haldi” every evening followed by Nikah and Walima .. Puff! We didn’t know many of guest ..they were in-laws friends and was introduced to many whose names I forgot the next minute πŸ™‚ Food was great but end of the day very tired ! His family tried to make me feel very comfortable , but I was nervous as hell!
    On retrospect , I wish I had a grand Hindu wedding .. its very beautiful even with limited budget. Its one day in my life and I would like to wear that white with golden motif Indian Dress “Sari” again!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I may do it in Vegas next year with immediate family and besties and then have a party of some sort back home. All I really want is to wear a beautiful dress with a flower crown ha! He’s buying a house which is important so we won’t have too much to spend on a big wedding. We shall see! I’ll blog when it happens lol

    Liked by 1 person

  7. We had just over 100 people. Very similar to what you described! Short and sweet ceremony. I had my 2 best girls and Justin had his brother and 2 best friends stand up. Buffet style dinner…lots of dancing because I love dancing! Our cake topper was the traditional bride and groom but the bride was grabbing the groom’s butt lol! Only thing I would change would be that I’d get my makeup professionally done. I know nothing and because I was hot (and anxious standing up in front of everyone) I was all splotchy.

    I also woke up the day of with an eye infection! My eye was all crusty and red. Thankfully we found a Dr that gave me some drops and by the time the ceremony started you couldn’t even tell!

    Liked by 1 person

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