*Disclaimer: This post goes against all the happy glitter filled nonsense that is usually found here. It is dark and scary – why am I writing it right before bed?! Brace yourself. Maybe have a shot of vodka ready for the end? And have one for me too, since I don’t indulge*
I’ve heard that there are two types of people: the type that can remember their dreams, and the type that can’t. I am one of former. I can remember dreams so vividly, that years later I can still describe them to you.
While still a small child, my family went to see the circus. It was the Wringly Brothers or something. It was in Kitchener, and before we moved for my dad’s job so I had to be less than 5 years old. After the circus I hated clowns. I still do, they really freak me out! And I can tell you why! After your family trip to the circus, I had a dream: My family (mom/dad/brother/me) went to the circus. While we were there, the clowns TRIED TO KILL US!!! They suffocated my mom in a bag of flour, put my brother and dad on the trapeze and as they were swinging in mid-air cut their throats with big swords. I am not making this up!! This is my memory from my dream!!! So to this day, I hate clowns. I think it might be pretty standard that if a group of people kills your family, you have the right to hate them for the rest of your life.
Over the course of my life, I have had the misfortune to have a few reoccurring dreams. One in childhood, and one in adulthood. I guess one would call them nightmares though. Everything described here is going to be a nightmare, let’s just put that out there – as if the clowns weren’t bad enough!
Ok, so childhood first. This one isn’t toooo bad. On the scale of puppies and cupcakes to murderous clowns, it’s in the middle, maybe a teeny tiny bit to the left, closer to the puppies and cupcakes.
This one started when I was around….8-10? I don’t know, whenever the first Jurassic Park movie came out. My dad had taken my brother and I to see it at the drive-in (for you young hip kids that’s where you drive your car to a field, and watch the movie on a big screen from inside your car). I had fallen asleep halfway through the movie, and when I woke up, I thought that the speaker pole beside the car was one of those little dinosaurs that their necks flare out when they are angry? They killed Norman from Seinfield (ooh man the references!). Anyways, so just fast forward past the mild heart attack, and you get to me at home in my bed. For the next few years, every 6-8 months I’d have this dream:
It starts off that I’m playing across the street in my friend’s house with my brother and my friend. We are minding our own business, and then all of a sudden, a T-Rex rips the roof off the house! It’s using its arms to try to grab at whatever it can in the house! It gets my friend and gobbles her up. Then my brother and I run into their upstairs family room (I had literally never been in any room like this in their house, only the front porch and the one bathroom). We try to hide! You know in the movie, they tell you to stay perfectly still? So we jump behind furniture and try to hold our breath and stay calm. I can still picture the big floral printed lazy boy that I would always go behind.
This is where it changes depending on my dream. Option 1: The brother and I free ourselves from the family room, the T-Rex not sensing anyone there. We run across the street to our homes and somehow we are safe from the dinosaur. Option 2: the T-Rex leaves the house, the brother and I run to our house, half way across the street, the T-Rex finds us. It chases us, we get into our house. We try to hide, it peeks inside windows. We are united with our parents. The T-Rex is INSIDE the house now! Ohhhh man!! It’s getting closer!! And Closer!!! And it reaches out to eat us and I wake up.
Moving (not so much) happily along to adult me. This dream just started a few years ago. I really have no idea what has brought it on. I’ve dreamt it maybe 2-3 times? The last time was just a few weeks ago, which spurred the idea into my prompt jar for later consideration – it won out today! Again, this has two versions. (OOO WAIT! I just thought of something, it happened this time after I watched a documentary on Jewish prisoners escaping from a Nazi concentration Camp!! Thank you Netflix for the bad dreams! Maybe the first time was when I watched Schindler’s List for the first time? Possibly…) This is more on the “murderous clowns” side of our dream scale.
Ok, version one. Family, plus a few others, are in the woods minding our own business, or working or something – I don’t know. Ok, so there we are and then all of a sudden, there are bullets EVERYWHERE! I hit the ground, everyone around me hits the ground. I think I’m hit. I can hear people screaming all around me. *I stir in my sleep, I half wake up, flutter my eyes and think happy thoughts while turning over in bed, they don’t work* Next scene, I’m in a house, on the top floor. In a room that is obviously mine. There is a window, I walk over to it, and I can see a warehouse outside in the woods with the lights on. Inside I can see soldiers. I see a rustle in the trees/grass around it. There are soldiers in night-combat gear slowly creeping closer to the house. I grab the backpack from the floor, throwing in anything that I can find! I ran for the door, I see my dog on the floor. I turn back to get him. I scoop him up, and as I’m doing that I can hear the soldiers breeching the house. Shots fired. I stand still….thinking…panicking….I rush to the window, throw it open. Dog into bag, bag on back, out the window. Climb down (somehow?!) into the woods. Slowly crawling as close to the ground as possible. The house is lighting up from shots fired inside. I’m outside, nothing I can do now. Then I hear the soldiers outside looking for me. I’m about to get found out and I wake up.
Other ending: I see the soldiers outside the window. I grab the dog before going to the door and run downstairs. I tell my parents what I see, and they say to stay calm. I can see the soldiers creeping outside the window now. Where is the brother?! Stay calm. Soldiers enter, no shots fired. Brother is in the kitchen, they find him and then we are all together in the family room. We are captured, and taken somewhere. No shots fired. We are in some sort of room where we are being held. Bunk beds on either side of the room. I’m on the top bunk. The door opens, a soldier is there to take us some place. I wake up.
I really don’t know what causes these dreams to happen. I’m not really the type of person who thinks that dreams are trying to tell you something. I more think that they are just your brain’s way of decompressing what has happened over that day. Like, the 2nd option of my adult dream: I get that! If it was the Netflix special, the room with the bunkbeds, reflecting now that was so totally in the documentary – in my mind it is exactly the same as the Jewish barracks at the concentration camp. I can see the connection there, and with the guns and the shooting and the whatnot. But the first time? I can’t remember what brought it on. And the clowns?!!? I am really 100% positive that no clowns ever tried to suffocate my mom or cut my dad’s throat.
Hey internet, let’s analyse these dreams – like I say in my “About Me” section, this is cheaper than therapy 😉