I was surprised to see today’s assignment, an hour after I posted “Dear Starbucks, From a Christian“, although technically not a letter, more like a mini-rant, and I almost decided not to post something new. I guess I’m no stranger to writing letters, since I also wrote a letter a month ago here. But the prompt got me thinking, so here is yet another letter for you to mull over.
A letter to my younger self.
Dear 22 year old T:
I’m writing to let you know how some of it turns out. I can’t give you all the answers, since somethings you just need to learn the hard way. They make you better so try not to worry.
First of all, pick your friends better! You are an amazing person and should not be limited to friends who make you feel bad, or who force you to change who you are. You need friends who uplift you, and who value what you bring to the relationship, not just how they can mold you into what they are wanting you to be. When you find yourself going home at the end of the day and feeling ashamed of what just happened – it’s time to let go! When they judge you harshly for your choices, especially the good choices, hunny bunny let them go. Dropping friends can be hard, and you will drop a few of them, but it is worth it! Your spirit will thank you when it’s all over and the dust settles. Sure, when you get rid of one or two after university, you will loose 95% of the rest who you thought were there for you. It’s going to suck, but those left will be amazingly true to you. Having 4 quarters is better than 100 pennies.
Stand up for yourself and put yourself out there. That opinion you want to share in class, with the professor who is a decorated war veteran and is incredibly intimidating? Say it! He ends up to be a closed minded, egotistical jerk a few weeks later. Your respect for him evaporates, so speak your mind, put your hand up and open that mouth! Speaking of intimidating, that cute boy who keeps flirting with you at work – child WALK THE HELL AWAY! He’s not worth the year of “what if’s”, even if he is as dark as chocolate and you could wash your laundry on his stomach. He does not respect or appreciate you, and you need to stand up for your worth!
Learn to forgive easier!! You lose some good years with that girl from high school, she’s one of your closest friends now. You had a falling out, you both regret it – apologize. You won’t act first, but she will in a few years. Good call on saying you forgot why you two had fought (even though we both know you still remember….I still do too). Take that higher road and repair something you valued. I know its hard to forgive, and you’ve said the line “it takes a lot to make me angry, but when you do it’s done” – it doesn’t apply to everyone. Maybe get upset easier is what I’m trying to say. You let things build up inside until there is no way to repair all that damage. Let it out earlier, in small bits that are easier to fix.
Quit your horrible job earlier, save money in a better way, take more vacations! Giggle more – you giggle a lot when you turn into me. Don’t buy that dress – you will know which one I mean! It’s over priced and you will wear it once, and in pictures you will think you look all rolly polly (even with the spanks under it!). It is still taking up space in my closet. Plan better before buying your first car. Yes, its pretty and yellow but it’s a piece of junk. You will become best friends with le brother. Literally best friends! It’s true! I swear! He turns out to be a pretty decent human, for being the spawn of satan that is. Tell him that to his face more often.
Lastly, 20 year old me – love yourself. Yes, you’re not a size 2, and you probably never will be (at least you aren’t right now), but you are lovable! You are beautiful! You are amazing!! It may sound weird to hear but you are, and I’m quoting myself here: “Awesomesauce with cherries and sprinkles”.You haven’t discovered this yet, but you will. I can’t tell you exactly when, maybe it came on gradually. But once you figure it out, girl there is no stopping you! Don’t be fazed by people saying you are vain or stuck up or self-involved. You are confident, and you really do love yourself – there is absolutely no shame in that.
With all my love,
Ps: be nicer to the mama! She just wants to love you too.