I’m usually being told by my friends that things will happen for me. Be patient, when it’s right it will come. I have one friend who is recently engaged and all her text replies are these non-committal psychological quips meant to make me feel better when I’m having a personal struggle but really just piss me off. I’m frustrated over the job market mostly, but in her words “something is out there for you” *rolls eyes*
I’ve never been the type of girl who defines herself by the men in her life. I am perfectly content being alone, and a guy has to be pretty spectacular to make me change that. A few lucky guys have made the cut, and when they do I pretty much have fallen hard for them.
Unfortunately, most of these connections happen online. I think that is the way it is for most people of my generation. I think that I am able to build better relationships online than off. I’m in that unique group of people who were born in the late 80’s, and who grew up when the internet was just starting to take over. It was this great thing that you had to wait for the phone to connect, and then play your little games and then get off. I would never spend more than an hour on it a day as a child – it just wasn’t that interesting. As a young teenager, we recently moved and the internet started to become my best friend. On it I could join chat groups and meet people from all over the world and talk to them without my shyness being a factor. My online flirt game is pretty skilled.
The only problem with this great skill that I have acquired is that no matter what the connection, as soon as anyone sees a picture of me then it usually ends. And it never translates into real life. My online confident persona has become my real life confidence as well, yet the connections with men in real life never happen. I have guy friends who I am close with and can be myself around, but from their end it never goes past friendship. The one thing that stops them I feel is appearance. It’s a funny place to be the one person they can turn to for everything but a relationship. Hence the name “No Love for Fatties”.
Over the next few posts I’m going to explore the few connections I have had online. While some are relatively fresh in the online dating realm, others are more in the past and fall under the “naive school girl trying to make friends” banner. A few, looking back at them make me really second guess how much of a brain I had as a youth…. clearly I was just dying for some sort of attention and would take it any place I could.